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When considering lessons in self-defense think of what it may do for you when in need.When seeing someone do a demonstration ask yourself does this look realistic or just like show ? Does it look too complicating to use on the street ? After all it is your life.
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Round and round. Real world self defense is more than just how good your technique is. Think about Alex Gong, he was a better fighter than that punk, in better shape than that punk, proven in the ring and still he got killed by a total loser. No matter how good you are in the ring it doesn't make you bullet, knife or club proof.
In regards to the non-self defense arguments you are mostly correct.