Originally Posted by EmptyneSs

when i go to my muy thai/boxing classes, the more i get hurt the better i like it. i like to see the bruises on my legs the next day. when i get hit in the face, it hurts alot, but i want more. in judo when i would get slammed i didnt like it, but after it happened i wanted more. i like getting hit. i like getting hurt. i like bleeding. at the moment it happens it sux, but afterwards i wish it happened more. i dont mind getting fucked up. for a moment i was afriad of getting hurt. now i desire it. mabye it has to do with the fact that i have nothing else going for me. mabye the pain fills the empty void inside me?? i go to my muay thai classes and get pounded and i always want more. the bruise is never big enough, or there is never enough of them. when i get hit in the nose and bleed, it never bleeds enough, and it never hurts enough. the bruises and scrapes are always a physical reminder to me of how much i want to train. sometimes i hate the fact taht some people dont even realise what i go through when i train,and how much it means to me and they dismiss it as just some stupid shit i do. i hate it when ive told people that muay thai is waht i do, yet they always refer to it as karate. i always tell my partner to not hold back.sometimes i want my partner to obliterate me.i always tell my partner to not take it easy on me. to not hold back. i dont know were this comes from but ive been thinking about it alot. is anyone else like this?or am i just crazy?