An addendum:
I posted my reply after reading only the initial post and the first reply. I just finished reading the rest, and felt like adding something, specifically in reference to Hermosa's observations.
First, I completely agree with the idea that values and morality should play a bigger role. I understand more than a lot of these folks will where your opinions come from, and even then, I have to agree with gabbah in that the "sociopath" behavior is more often than not, boys trying to prove that they're men. It was when I was a sociopath, and I'm sure it was for you too.
On the topic of talking a good game, you and I share some fundamental beliefs that I'd encourage you to revisit. One instance comes to mind:
The Dalai Lama was asked if it was possible to positively and compassionately express anger. His reply was "Yes, it is possible to have circumstances in which the basic motivation is compassionate, but the immediate catalyst or motivating factor was anger, which is a very strong force of mind." I interpret that to mean that we may begin something (like martial arts) out of anger (in my case, anger at the fact that I'd gotten my ass kicked by a third grader), and still watch that course of action become incredibly positive and compassionate. If I hadn't gotten my ass kicked by the third grader when I was six, woukd either of us be where we are today?
The four noble truths of Buddhism begin by stating that Life is Duca, or Suffering. The truths deal with recognizing, the origin of that suffering, the cessation of suffering, and finding the path, right? Now describe your life with that in mind.
What were the martial arts to you in the beginning?
What did they lead you to discover?
What have your efforts over the last five years been about?
Where has it led you?
Once you've thought about those, maybe you'll see that it's exactly the same thing. Martial arts are, ultimately, a path toward self-awareness if not self-fulfillment, aren't they? The awareness gained when a student first realizes that he has the control to change his circumstance is a powerful thing. Not one everyone will understand, but the beginnings of greatness nonetheless.