Ok folks, here it is, the SAMMY FRANCO RAP!. I've been inundated with requests for it, many of which were requests I made to myself. When in Rome and all that.
Even FBI Operatives in Washington DC emailed me for it, as well as sad helicopter cleaners who sneaked a copy of Franco's Sad Wank magazine onto a helicopter in Afghanistan.
So, without much further ado, here it is:-
(don't forget all those staccoato grunts and groans that Rap guys do. I'll put 'em in, but you'll have to find your own rhythm, like Franco does when he's a humpin his chicken.) here goes....
uh Uh Uh Uh - Aa Aa aaaa
Now Sammy is a guy who tells loadsa fukkin lies
About all the folks a luvvin his stuff
From soldiers in the sky to the F! B! I!
he's talk a whole load a horse shit and fluff (uh Uh UH UH)
Gets all how under the balls when he talks about girls
and he reckons he's better than them
But he's never had a fling with something that ain't got wings
And he's sticking his bits into them (Aa Aa aaaa)
(chorus)
He's a Chokin!
His Chicken!
He's Chokin it oh so hard!
But his willy
gets all chilly
and goes runny and soft like lard!
Sammy says he's tough and he just can't get enough
telling us how no one's better!
What he fails to tell you all
is that he's really pretty small
And spends his time ripping off the Shredder (Uh uh UH uh uH!)
(chorus)
Franco! is a
Wanker
And he razes his dick all day
If other people
invent things
he pretends that its what HE had to say
Sammys very sad and his art is pretty bad
and almost all of his fans are him
His shirts are all black and red
like the Teddy in his bed
and the Chicken that Beak Jobs him
(chorus)
Sammy Seahorse
Youre a fleas arse
Very small and insignificant and smelly
If I see you
Should be at the zoo
Where you'd be lying on a willin' Chicken's belly!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There. Oh yes! Sammy's art was inspired after him having carnal knowledge mof a chicken. In fact it was a Rooster, but I couldn't think of any rhymes. Is he a leg man or a breast man?
He is an Arse, man.
