One thing you have to think about is that this isn't a sport based art but a combat art , so a lot of the "realism" you are looking for will lead to people getting seriously hurt. I, for one don't want to have my arm broken just so someone can watch it on DVD and say " cool".
I have been studying this art a long time and this is one of the most common critisms that I hear. I would even say that if you did see it in a real life situation it would probably look no different than any other art in a real life altercation ( attack, defend and survive to tell the tale). A friend of mine who is quite skilled at TKD & Kung FU works security at a club and everytime I see him get into with someone nothing he does looks like anything I seen him teach at his dojo.
I believe that the majority of instuctional tapes on the market aren't to teach realism but to teach or explain concepts for you to be able to perform in realistic situations. It's up to your instructor and you to play with the " what if's..." to see what will work the best in as real of situation you can make in the dojo.
Good luck in your search
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Rob
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