Klank-
Don't get hung up on this guy too much. He's likely to have been an athlete in school and may be naturally gifted physically. There's always someone that faster, stronger, etc. but that's no reason to doubt your self. The best thing in my experience is to try to get them to slow down enough to correct their technique. When I've taught extremely athletic people the hardest part is to get them to slow down and truly learn. Your doing well to make him slow down and think. Keep it up!
Relaxing for sparring and/or fighting comes with time and experience as well as "putting on your game face". Some find it very effective to visualize doing well or winning, I prefer to simply think about flowing with my opponent so I'm not stuck in a game plan (at least when I compete in TKD because I don't generally know my opponent).
Hope it helps!
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