Whenever I've trained with women I go light as a principle then adjust accordingly.
If she's a beginner, I'll let her go full bore and just work defense (footwork) etc. If she's been doing it a while, I may go 50%....and if she's a competitive fighter or a high ranked belt, I go into survival mode.
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The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Slow is fast; fast is slow.
Love it, leave it or fix it.
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