I will say that it's difficult to build relationships with every student in an overcrowded classroom... The ones who I know the best are those who act out, though, and when I meet with their parents I find out they're on probation for drug use, they just lost someone close to them, etc... The parents often say things like "I have no idea what to do."
Here's some more about the shooter:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/11/cle...ing/index.html
I've never heard of teachers getting sued because they are concerned about a child but there are specific reasons why teachers as mandatory reporters are not allowed to ask certain personal questions so as to aid in prosecution. It's pretty frustrating because you are only allowed to ask "what happened" and "where were you when it happened" and are of course legally obligated to contact both CPS and the police, but when you call CPS and the police, investigation is often deemed unnecessary. I'm not really sure what lawsuits would take place for asking any other types of questions... and besides, most teachers have pretty good insurance.
I think it's possible to focus on both testing standards and personal development, but often the students that need it most are the most resistant...
I've been really focusing on quality work lately, going around the room and asking "Is this your best work?" and telling students they need to raise their standards... I'm trying to reinforce effort by having students keep track of effort and achievement. So on some level this is about getting their reading and writing on par but on another it's because research shows that many students don't understand the correlation between effort and achievement... and I think it's pretty important.
I do think it's difficult to be a parent figure to 150 students. While I think building relationships with students is important both for managing a classroom and for creating a positive learning environment, I see my ultimate responsibility as a teacher to help students master performance objectives, learn higher levels of thinking and 21st century learning skills... And honestly, the ones that need positive adult role models in their lives are the ones least likely to reach out or respond when teachers reach out.
One of my kids is on long-term suspension for many many things he did in a short period of time, but the day before his last screw-up we sat and talked for close to an hour. He wrote me an apology letter. We worked out a behavior contract. We had what I thought was a meaningful conversation and then the next day he was up to his old antics again. There are only so many chances you can give someone. It's funny because I worry about my car getting jacked one of these days...