Since the topic continues, please let me bore you with my past.
My sporadic and weak-assed training began as a fat slob who tried TKD and got hurt by a bully of a teacher. I then sought out someone better, and I found exactly that in a visit to the Dubuque Martial Arts Group on Wednesday, June 16th, 1993. I distinctly remember Dean feeding pads for a guy from Inosanto’s academy. Dean joked with the guy but humbly regarded himself next to Inosanto. “He’d just close the gap and drop me,” Dean admitted. Eavesdropping, I laughed and received looks from the two, making me worry that I said something wrong or overstepped by place. Other than that perceived scowl and pointing out where to pick up information, there was no interaction.
Nevertheless, I visited once more then finally took a day off from my two jobs to train with Dean on Wednesday, December 22. Through the snow and ice that buried eastern Iowa that morning, I ventured from a small town outside the Waterloo area to visit Dean’s place. A shy and inexperienced newbie, I was nervous, feeling out of place. No one asked my name or what I did, where I came from, or my experience. I was a deer caught in headlights, in unfamiliar territory and feeling unwelcome, unwanted, an outsider. That sense was only exacerbated by my flabbiness, as my notes from the class suggest: “I loved the class, but nearly collapsed during the extensive exercises that closed out the lesson. I caught my breath only about the time I made it home from my 100-mile trip.” Embarrassment mixed with a fear of judgment, and I never returned.
Because of that experience, I appreciated the hospitable nature of Guro Langley West during my visit to Iowa City a few months later. When I entered his school, he came to me as soon as he saw me. He extended his hand, smiled, and treated me like a friend. Over the last decade or so, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many teachers who were just as outgoing. Hochheim is very much like that. The last time I saw Remy Presas (Junior… I’ve never met Senior), he hugged me. Very different from the bully TKD teacher or ‘the guy in Dubuque who never even acknowledged me.’
My current teacher is a Full Instructor under Inosanto, Sirisute, and de Thouars. Damn good, but he sometimes comes across as standoffish, and whenever I’ve approached him with a question, he’d dismiss me to an assistant for the answer. He often cautions his class that he’s not there to ‘spoon-feed’ us. But we were all beginners once and hopefully remain students; we all need to remember how that feels. A little friendliness and a welcoming demeanor go a long way towards student retention. Granted, I never got to know Dean so clearly I’ve missed out on his sociability, and from the sound of it, it’s clearly my loss.
For the record: John T. was literally the friend of a friend of a friend, the first guy I ever really sparred against (Monday, July 12th, 1993). He spent much of the time criticizing others—claiming that Vunak was a boozing browbeater, saying that Chuck Norris “couldn’t punch his way out of a paper bag.” But he also taught me some basic single and double stick patterns, simple kickboxing, and introduced me to concepts such as limb destructions (I have that last lesson on video, where my wide-eyed innocence met his ego). He told me that he had trained with Dean for only a few weeks, but the amount that he knew suggested that he had more experience than that.
Sorry if I put anyone asleep. Just answering questions.
Matt
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