Originally Posted by Mike Brewer

I've learned that the people who talk the biggest line about what badasses they are, aren't. I've learned that it's better to be wallpaper and go unnoticed than it is to be immediately identifiable as a threat. I've learned I have a conscience when it comes to hurting people, and I'll go a lot further to avoid it than I used to. I've also learned that if I'm pushed there, I really don't feel much guilt.

Being a quick-triggered youngster taught me that fighting is better than taking lumps out of fear, even if you lose. Getting older taught me you can generally manage to out-think someone who's bent on fighting with a whole lot less effort than outfighting them. It also taught me that there are stages to most fights. Most people go through a posturing and negotiations phase before they get serious. That's the best time to hurt them, because they still haven't made up their minds yet and confusion is even better than surprise.

Becoming a father taught me that all these scars and stories were there for my son's benefit as much as mine. They taught me a lot about being brave, but they also taught me a lot baout being stupid. In fact, I'm more qualified to speak intelligently about being stupid than just about anything else.

Spiritually, I learned that I really do have to work off all those mistreatments of others in my own life. I learned that I didn't have much regard for other people when I was younger, and as a consequence, there will be a lot of times when people won't have much regard for me. Some of these times are times when I really wish they would, but turnabout is fair play and I have no room to complain.

Fighting also taught me that I have it in my own power to change my circumstances. As much as I could take it upon myself to make a bully go away or to line up rifle sights to make a bad guy quit shooting, I also had it in my power to pick a better attitude or change my situation if things were hard. The same way bitching and complaining won't make a bad guy stop shooting or a bully stop hitting, it won't make life stop kicking you in the teeth either.

Emotionally, dealing with combative stress has made me more level-headed in a crisis. I don't get very wound up anymore, and I am a much more even-tempered person than I was when I was young.

There's more, for certain. But I think the rest is mostly the kind of stuff that people who've never been there won't really understand from my limited grasp of language, and it's the sort of stuff that people who have been there already know.