Originally Posted by Mike Brewer

I think any instructor who teaches for any length of time has run into this same guy.

My approach as a classmate is different from my approach as an instructor. As a classmate, I train at the level he thinks he's at. I've always had a rule that I train at the level and intensity of the junior partner. If I'm on the floor with a spaz who doesn't listen - one whose cockiness and lack of attention could get me hurt - I'm going to spar with him the way I would if he were as good as he thinks. He'll probably lose often, and he'll be frustrated by it. That goes one of two ways. He either gets the hint that maybe he's not the baddest guy on the floor, or he gets mad and ramps things up and gets himself knocked out. Again, I'm playing at his level of intensity. If he comes after me with the intent to do harm, I'll tune him up. That's the kind of peer pressure that keeps a lot of places like boxing gyms in line, and the very mechanism that keeps egos in check. When I was living with and training with Vunak, there were a few of us he'd rely on to do this kind of thing from time to time. He had several instructor-level people who thought very highly of themselves, and he found that it was hard to teach them new things while they were floating on an ego cloud. Most people came to train with him in groups, ordinarily made up of the instructor and a couple or three of his students. In some cases, the instructor would beat his students pillar to post as if showing off was the point of the whole trip. Paul would very often in these situations give me a signal and I'd do whatever I could to feed them some humble pie. Luckily, Paul never asked me to do that against someone better than me.

As an instructor, that taught me a valuable lesson. It's good to have a senior student or two that you can put on the guy to show him where he really stands. All too often, the mindset you're talking about leads to bullies. Worse for them, maybe, is that it leads to an inability to learn or grow. The way I've worked it in the past is, I'll choose a lesson plan that works to this guy's weakest areas. Preferably, it'll be an area where a lot of his classmates are very strong. As you go through the lesson, everybody gets compliments but this guy. Make a big deal out of how great everyone is progressing, and do it individually, leaving your problem child out of that praise. Don't be as unsubtle as to say something like "Everybody but shitface over here did great!" Just make the rounds during class and stop people now and then to commend them on their progress. End the day with some sparring. Match the guy up with your senior people ONLY. His ego is probably already in overdrive, and if you put him with one of those folks you already complimented, he may try to beat on them to make up for it and make himself feel superior. So put him in against someone who can walk him like a dog and let them play to his perceived ability and intensity. He'll get his ass kicked, and he'll probably feel bad about it. That's good.

As the instructor, your job is now to pull him aside and instruct. Have a private chat with him and tell him you saw how badly he felt during the class. Having the experience you have, you also see what might have caused him to have such a rough night. Tell him that it's your job as an instructor to help him grow, but that what he needs isn't technical - it's mental. Point out to him point blank that you think his ego is getting in the way. Tell him the reason he got worked over is because he often comes across like a know-it-all. Tell him like a man, straight to his face and as honest and blunt as can be, and then tell him that if he wants to really progress in these arts, he's got to learn to let the insecurities go. He's got to learn that it's okay not to know. After all, if he knew it all already, he wouldn't need you. Plant the seed that if he can ditch his need to come across as better than he really is, he'll actually get better. Then let him go home and stew on it. He'll come around.

Or he won't. But it's better than having some dickhead on the floor and it's moe in line with what an instructor's job really is. You're not just there to teach techniques.