Not to put too fine a point on it, but it really boils down to not being a dick. I don't mind people who have high levels of confidence. I don't even mind the occasional student who isn't as good as he thinks he is. What I mind is guys who want to come in and hurt people because they think they can. I don't like it in training, and I don't stand for it in my day to day life. Pushing people around just because someone gets off on it is unacceptable. Bullying is not something I consider a failure of ettiquette. It is a failure of character, and it is something that deserves to be punished. Since I'm not the type that thinks we should let things go entirely and trust in fate or God to punish evildoers, there are a few things I tend to recognize as "my jurisdiction." I think God put us all here with out own sets of skills and tools and abilities, and one of my skill sets is the ability and willingness to punish bullies for being dickheads.
I've knocked out all kinds of people who wandered in trying to push around the juniors. I always have a rule - if you're the type that comes in wanting to fight, you get to move with me first. That way, I can assess where you're at and determine whether or not you're going to get carried away and hurt my students. I've always believed that we train at the intensity of the junior partner, and so I always let the other guy take the lead. If they are trying to show off or hurt me, I will not trust them to work with my students. If they really try to hurt me, I'll defend myself. If they're trying to be bullies about it, I'll hurt them and throw them out on the sidewalk while they're still unconscious. I just never developed any tolerance for that kind of shit.
As for the mental aspect, you see it all over the place. It's usually the overly sensitive types that take offense at the littlest thing and then fire back with asymetric intensity. You say something that someone takes the wrong way, and all of a sudden, the guy wants to "Kill you, motherfucker!" The threats and posturing and intimidation are probes. The intention is to see whether or not you'll fold, because if you fold to that kind of intimidation, you'll be a more willing victim. It only goes up from there. It's like when you apologize to someone for a misunderstanding and all they want to do is get meaner and nastier? They weren't offended at all. They were looking for a reason to screw with you, and that kind of posturing is their way of justifiying dickish behavior. All you can do is recognize the behavior for whta it is and act accordingly - which is to say don't entertain stupidity, and don't belittle yourself by making concessions to a bully. Just knock the shit out of them (figuratively or literally) and move on.
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