Originally Posted by Mike Brewer

I've always believed that we train at the intensity of the junior partner, and so I always let the other guy take the lead. If they are trying to show off or hurt me, I will not trust them to work with my students. If they really try to hurt me, I'll defend myself. If they're trying to be bullies about it, I'll hurt them and throw them out on the sidewalk while they're still unconscious. I just never developed any tolerance for that kind of shit.

As for the mental aspect, you see it all over the place. It's usually the overly sensitive types that take offense at the littlest thing and then fire back with asymetric intensity. You say something that someone takes the wrong way, and all of a sudden, the guy wants to "Kill you, motherfucker!" The threats and posturing and intimidation are probes. The intention is to see whether or not you'll fold, because if you fold to that kind of intimidation, you'll be a more willing victim. It only goes up from there. It's like when you apologize to someone for a misunderstanding and all they want to do is get meaner and nastier? They weren't offended at all. They were looking for a reason to screw with you, and that kind of posturing is their way of justifiying dickish behavior. All you can do is recognize the behavior for whta it is and act accordingly - which is to say don't entertain stupidity, and don't belittle yourself by making concessions to a bully. Just knock the shit out of them (figuratively or literally) and move on.