Dude...
...I am going to assume this is for real and not a troll...
...Dude, get some help...it's good that you've finally owned up to the truth but the fact that so much of your self-esteem is coupled to a fantasy life can not be healthy. And you still are living in a bit of a fantasy life - you can not master GJJ through tapes and such...it can't be done...tapes, books, etc. are good for reference and aiding the memory but the only way to learn GJJ is through hands-on instruction. Unless you truly are gifted, you probably won't learn proper technique - and before you re-iterate that you ARE gifted, bear in mind that the gifted probably only make up less than 5% of the world's population...statistically, the odds are heavily weighted against you. If you truly want to learn GJJ, try and find a certified instructor near you and try to work out regularly with him. If that's not possible, try to make it to as many seminars as possible.
Peace out, Roy.
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