If you're looking for good self defense and mental/spirtual aspects of martial arts, I would recommend finding a traditional martial art school that teaches jiujitsu, Korean Martial Arts (not TKD), chinese kenpo or maybe gong fu/chin na.
Jiu jitsu is a combat method created for the warrior class in Japan. It has elements of throwing and finishing techniques - reason being that on heavily armored opponents on the battlefield could not be defeated by empty handed strikes.
Korean Martial arts come in different styles - Hapkido, Kuk Sool, Tukong Musool, Hwa Rang Do and Ship pal gi to name a few. All of them are trained in the tradtional style with an emphasis on teaching self-defense, breathing excercises, form practice and general conditioning.
Chinese Kenpo is a system of karate that originated in China that is well known for its circular hand strikes and ability to flow from technique to technique. Chinese kenpo practicioners can hit extremely quick and have excellent accuracy.
Gong fu is a general term for Chinese martial arts. There are thousands of styles that go into depth about learning styles of movement based on various concepts. The self defense applications are in chin na (grabbing and seizing) and are a set of viscious techniques taken from the system of movement.
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