The Ultimate in Martial Arts

Karlinhos · 12-07-2000, 06:52 PM

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Insist that your e-mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

8) Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."

9) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

10) Dont use any punctuation

11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

14) Sing along at the opera.

15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)

17) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

18) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

19) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

And for the Jiu-Jitsu enthusiast…

20) Sneek up on one of your co-workers, apply a rear naked choke, put them to sleep, then run around the office yelling, "Jiu-Jitsu! Jiu-Jitsu! Jiu-Jitsu!"

Robbie · 12-07-2000, 06:57 PM

lol,that was good.I think I'll try some of those.

Ryu (non-working password · 12-07-2000, 07:54 PM

ROTF! Good God, I am near tears over this!

the "in accordance to the prophecy" thing had me rolling for some reason.

hounddog · 12-07-2000, 07:57 PM

LMAO Karl!

and Ryu.... turn that f!cking sig off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony10 · 12-07-2000, 08:02 PM

See Ryu? People become visibly angry...

Karlinhos · 12-07-2000, 08:10 PM

hounddog, i'm with you on that one... RYU, TURN THE SIG OFF..!!!!!!!!!

robbie... your's is pretty funny.

[Edited by Karlinhos on 12-07-2000 at 06:54 PM]

EJ · 12-07-2000, 10:45 PM

#11. Contribute to the demise of the Forum by making lame ass threads.

EJ · 12-07-2000, 10:59 PM

Echhh!!!

Actually... I am THE MOUSEL's GUY... I love this forum.

But lately I have been patrolling ITG and the UG becuz this place is getting too out of control... the only action here is on the shitty political, Manco and religion threads.

Off topic is only funny in on topic threads... but only in small, effective doses.

Why do you think Roy Harris, Fabrizio De Santo, etc. etc. don't post here anymore???

When I want to reach John Diedenhofen, Cooter, armhunter and other knowledgeable dudes, I need to look elsewhere.

At least fil still puts up with this shit.... ask yerself...

where's Alby, SD, gunny, Raven and the rest????

At least Patterson was funny.... where is he at????

[Edited by EJ on 12-07-2000 at 06:05 PM]

SweepEm · 12-07-2000, 11:29 PM

hey Karl, your co-workers are still scared of being near you.

EJ: Patterson is cowering in a corner, shivering and scared

andreh anderson · 12-08-2000, 03:22 AM

Karl,

Did you receive my email?

Karlinhos · 12-08-2000, 04:48 PM

yes... THANKS!

I'll get back to you tonight or tomorrow...!

12-07-2000, 07:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ryu (non-working password Advanced Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 1,269 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	ROTF! Good God, I am near tears over this! the "in accordance to the prophecy" thing had me rolling for some reason. __________________ [img] http://www.angelfire.com/anime/gohandbz11/fdeath.gif[/img] Hontoo da to iu koto o mitomenakereba narimasen.

12-07-2000, 08:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tony10 Advanced Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 527 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	See Ryu? People become visibly angry... __________________ Are you not entertained?!

12-07-2000, 10:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
EJ Master Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Southern California!!!!!!!! Posts: 2,115 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	#11. Contribute to the demise of the Forum by making lame ass threads. __________________ -EJ "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of the women!" - Conan The Barbarian

12-07-2000, 10:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
EJ Master Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Southern California!!!!!!!! Posts: 2,115 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Echhh!!! Actually... I am THE MOUSEL's GUY... I love this forum. But lately I have been patrolling ITG and the UG becuz this place is getting too out of control... the only action here is on the shitty political, Manco and religion threads. Off topic is only funny in on topic threads... but only in small, effective doses. Why do you think Roy Harris, Fabrizio De Santo, etc. etc. don't post here anymore??? When I want to reach John Diedenhofen, Cooter, armhunter and other knowledgeable dudes, I need to look elsewhere. At least fil still puts up with this shit.... ask yerself... where's Alby, SD, gunny, Raven and the rest???? At least Patterson was funny.... where is he at???? [Edited by EJ on 12-07-2000 at 06:05 PM] __________________ -EJ "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of the women!" - Conan The Barbarian

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

12-07-2000, 06:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
Karlinhos Advanced Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 650 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your e-mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." 6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors". 7) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." 8) Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." 9) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. 10) Dont use any punctuation 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 14) Sing along at the opera. 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.) 17) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 18) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. 19) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard". And for the Jiu-Jitsu enthusiast… 20) Sneek up on one of your co-workers, apply a rear naked choke, put them to sleep, then run around the office yelling, "Jiu-Jitsu! Jiu-Jitsu! Jiu-Jitsu!"

12-07-2000, 06:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Robbie Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Brunswick,GA Posts: 286 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	lol,that was good.I think I'll try some of those.

12-07-2000, 07:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
hounddog Novice Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 372 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	LMAO Karl! and Ryu.... turn that f!cking sig off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12-07-2000, 08:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
Karlinhos Advanced Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 650 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	hounddog, i'm with you on that one... RYU, TURN THE SIG OFF..!!!!!!!!! robbie... your's is pretty funny. [Edited by Karlinhos on 12-07-2000 at 06:54 PM]

12-07-2000, 11:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
SweepEm Master Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,845 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	hey Karl, your co-workers are still scared of being near you. EJ: Patterson is cowering in a corner, shivering and scared

12-08-2000, 03:22 AM	#10 (permalink)
andreh anderson Novice Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 55 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Karl, Did you receive my email?

12-08-2000, 04:48 PM	#11 (permalink)
Karlinhos Advanced Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 650 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	yes... THANKS! I'll get back to you tonight or tomorrow...!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)