The Ultimate in Martial Arts

david a · 12-09-2000, 07:29 AM

Santa Works Hard!!

The analysis calculates that there are possibly 378 million children in the world; at just over 4.1 per household, that's 98.1 million homes. "One presumes that there's at least one good child in each".

Time zones give Santa 31 hours of Christmas to work with, which means 822.6 visits per second. "This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh, fill the stockings ... [and] get back into
the sleigh."

The sleigh itself would have to travel at 3,000 times the speed of sound, 650 miles per second. "[The] fastest man made vehicle ... the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey
27.4 miles per second." The sleigh's payload - assuming nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set, weighing 2 lbs, is 321,300 tons and, even if flying reindeer have 10 times the
pulling power of an ordinary reindeer, he will need 214,000 of the beasts.

Finally, "353,000 tons, travelling at 650 miles per second, creates enormous air resistance ... the lead pair of reindeer (you know, Rudolph and chum) will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules
of energy ... per second ... each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously". Santa's whole flying circus would burn up, like a spacecraft re-entering the atmosphere.

"In conclusion: If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve .. he's dead now!!"

[Edited by david a on 12-09-2000 at 02:32 AM]

Ninjagod · 12-09-2000, 12:07 PM

Ah he's magic dude...

What's inside a girl? · 12-09-2000, 01:53 PM

Oh fuk, not this again. Why don't you shuv your santa statisitcs where the sun don't shine.

Merry Christmas MF'er.

12-09-2000, 06:21 PM

I see the Carribbean hasn't improved your personality any.

Shame.

War Pig · 12-10-2000, 12:44 AM

This forum is for talking about Mixed Martial Arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

Take that stupid shit somewhere else.

david a · 12-10-2000, 04:21 AM

What the______????!!!?

You guys take me way too seriously. Now I can't even post a funny thread without getting labeled as a bigot.

"This forum is for talking about Mixed Martial Arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. "

I guess the "I have a big dick thread" would be a legitimate
thread then?

12-10-2000, 10:57 PM

david a:

I was flaming Tez for flaming you, dude. No harm done.

As for War Pig...he's just cranky. His handle says it all.

What's inside a girl? · 12-11-2000, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ronin
I was flaming Tez for flaming you, dude. No harm done.

Way to confuse the guy even more.

You're so stupid it's laughable.

12-09-2000, 07:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
david a Novice Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 156 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Santa Works Hard!! The analysis calculates that there are possibly 378 million children in the world; at just over 4.1 per household, that's 98.1 million homes. "One presumes that there's at least one good child in each". Time zones give Santa 31 hours of Christmas to work with, which means 822.6 visits per second. "This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh, fill the stockings ... [and] get back into the sleigh." The sleigh itself would have to travel at 3,000 times the speed of sound, 650 miles per second. "[The] fastest man made vehicle ... the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second." The sleigh's payload - assuming nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set, weighing 2 lbs, is 321,300 tons and, even if flying reindeer have 10 times the pulling power of an ordinary reindeer, he will need 214,000 of the beasts. Finally, "353,000 tons, travelling at 650 miles per second, creates enormous air resistance ... the lead pair of reindeer (you know, Rudolph and chum) will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy ... per second ... each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously". Santa's whole flying circus would burn up, like a spacecraft re-entering the atmosphere. "In conclusion: If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve .. he's dead now!!" [Edited by david a on 12-09-2000 at 02:32 AM] __________________ Dave

12-09-2000, 12:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ninjagod Novice Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 59 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Ah he's magic dude... __________________ "Oh Stifflers mom!"

12-09-2000, 01:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
What's inside a girl? Novice Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 239 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Another bastid newbie spamjob Oh fuk, not this again. Why don't you shuv your santa statisitcs where the sun don't shine. Merry Christmas MF'er.

12-10-2000, 04:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
david a Novice Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 156 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	What the______????!!!? You guys take me way too seriously. Now I can't even post a funny thread without getting labeled as a bigot. "This forum is for talking about Mixed Martial Arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. " I guess the "I have a big dick thread" would be a legitimate thread then? __________________ Dave

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12-09-2000, 06:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ronin Guest Posts: n/a	I see the Carribbean hasn't improved your personality any. Shame.

12-10-2000, 12:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
War Pig Registered User Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Reno, Nevada Posts: 88 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	This forum is for talking about Mixed Martial Arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Take that stupid shit somewhere else.

12-10-2000, 10:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
Ronin Guest Posts: n/a	david a: I was flaming Tez for flaming you, dude. No harm done. As for War Pig...he's just cranky. His handle says it all.

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