Excellent post Dan, and I totally agree. For me, grappling in a real self defense situation would stress position, where I could either control my attacker or strike him until he was under control, but where I could also be in a position to retaliate if another assailant approaches me.
When we work technique in class, I always try to think of my striking opportunities and what I could do, and my opponent could do to me, if there were no rules. Of course you can't and wouldn't do that to your partner, but its good to keep those things in mind, and train striking while on the ground with focus mits, heavy bag on the ground, etc.
I think BJJ and MMA in general train excellent attributes to prepare you for a real confrontation, but keep in mind the things that the rules don't allow you or your partner to do.


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