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Old 10-20-2004, 01:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Doing Side Splits - Please Help !

I told my friends I could do splits but I cant really. I have got a month to try and stretch my muscles. If i stretch everyday will i become flexible and do splits.

Please advise or I am going to look and idiot. I also said i can do what jean claude van damme does and suspend my legs between chairs. please advice
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Old 10-20-2004, 01:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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hold your body up with your legs spread out as far as you can while trying to press your elbows to the floor. Gradually move your feet out farter until your in the splits position.
Switch your feet so that your up on one heel and reach down toward your other toe...do this both sides.
standing heel grab to the side of your body extend out. both legs like a dancer.
static splits...push out farter each time.
Butterfly stretch with somebody standing on your legs, hurdler stratches, playboys, and legs in front holding heels off the ground.
Do this for about 2 hours non-stop, dedicated, and you'll be alot closer to achieving your goal... if not, you'll reach it. But remember this stuff ISN'T supposed to come this quick, and there might be repercussions...ie.not being able to walk the next day.
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Old 10-20-2004, 02:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by holyman
I told my friends I could do splits but I cant really. I have got a month to try and stretch my muscles. If i stretch everyday will i become flexible and do splits.

Please advise or I am going to look and idiot. I also said i can do what jean claude van damme does and suspend my legs between chairs. please advice
Get a banana, cut it in half then throw it in a bowl. Dump some ice cream, fudge, cherries, and nuts on it and give it to the guy. When he says WTF, say "I said I could do splits. You're the dumbass that never asked what type."

As for doing them in a month, I seriously doubt you'll get down to a full side split in less than a month, much less one between chairs. It takes a long time.
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Old 10-20-2004, 04:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by holyman
I told my friends I could do splits but I cant really. I have got a month to try and stretch my muscles. If i stretch everyday will i become flexible and do splits.

Please advise or I am going to look and idiot. I also said i can do what jean claude van damme does and suspend my legs between chairs. please advice
Too Late for that now!
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Old 10-20-2004, 05:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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"I told my friends I could do splits but I cant really. I have got a month to try and stretch my muscles. If i stretch everyday will i become flexible and do splits.

Please advise or I am going to look and idiot. I also said i can do what jean claude van damme does and suspend my legs between chairs. please advice "
how about not tell your friends things you cant do?
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Old 10-20-2004, 05:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Stop lying and telling yoru friends you can do stuff that you really can't.
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Old 10-20-2004, 09:30 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by holyman
I told my friends I could do splits but I cant really. I have got a month to try and stretch my muscles. If i stretch everyday will i become flexible and do splits.

Please advise or I am going to look and idiot. I also said i can do what jean claude van damme does and suspend my legs between chairs. please advice
That was a dumb thing to boast. It may be possible to achieve the splits in 1-3 months, but many people will never achieve them. To be honest, it's a stupid idea in the first place.

Your best resource is to get Thomas Kurz's book "Scientific Stretching", 4th edition, read the whole thing, and start working on it. If you get the videos too, so much the better. While Kurz can get you there, even he says it's stupid to go for the splits unless your particular sport requires it. For grapplers, this particular need doesn't exist.

If you try pushing yourself to develop that flexibility real fast, you will hurt yourself quite badly and look like an even bigger idiot than if you hand them a banana split sundae. Trying to do the suspended split between chairs requires enormous strength that you simply won't develop in time, and I guarantee a crippling injury if you try to force it.

In the future, don't let your mouth write checks that your body can't cash.
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Old 10-21-2004, 08:30 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Short term: you're going to look like an idiot.

Medium term: do a websearch for "PNF stretching" and do some of that.

Long term: try to work on your deep-seated feelings of inadequacy that cause you to lie to people you think you are friends with.

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Old 10-21-2004, 09:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
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just play it off...

"Haha, i was just Bullshitting...."

No big deal.
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Old 11-01-2004, 10:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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first I'll say your a fool if everyone has just said you can't do this and you actually try..... however..... play it smart take that lie and make another one.... start to do the splits and then when you don't do em.... tell em that you use to be able to and that it must be cause you haven't stretched in a while

the pimped way of doing things
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Old 11-01-2004, 10:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Splits I think are cool to do even if your sport doesn't require them, simple because they are fun. Heck, that one Russian kettlebell instructor guy (I forget his name), he can do standing verticle splits and he isn't a performance martial-artist.

Also, Chuck Liddel I saw a picture of him kicking totally vertically too, and he is a UFC fighter, so I mean if you have the time, I say learn splits. Plus they feel sooooo nice after a nice long workout.
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Old 11-02-2004, 10:39 AM   #12 (permalink)
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1. Stop lying.
2. The best (meaning the fastest) way to do the splits is to tie each of your legs to the front bumper of 2 different cars, then have them floor it in reverse at the same time. You may feel a little pain, but it will disappear as the blood slowly drains from your body and you die.
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Old 11-15-2004, 02:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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First of all, STOP LYING!

Secondly, I think you can acheive your goal, but not in such a small space of time. You need to stretch every day. But make sure that you are warm and that you breathe during the stretch. However, if you force a stretch too much you could hurt youself for a long time. It isn't worth the pain man!
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Old 11-15-2004, 05:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
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1. buy plane ticket to thailand
2. meet up with old thai-box trainer in the jungle
3. have him tie your legs into a contraption and force your legs into the splits
4. let him drop a cocount from 20 feet onto your gut
5. then celebrate it all by doing side splits taiji underwaiter
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