How do you workout?

[Ian The Machine Freeman]

I have just finished training in the gym with weights and it supprises me how many different types of characters there are...

1. THE POSER.

Trains with all the best clothing you can buy. He even wears shades, indoors. Has a weight training belt around his waist to pull his stomach in. Looks in the mirror at himself constantly, without training.

2. THE PROWLER.

Goes to the gym to check out the girls and nothing else. Always near the machines where the chicks are. Felxing his biceps only when he thinks the girls are looking at him. Waits in antisipation for a girl to struggle with a weight so he can make his move.

3. THE TALKER.

Always talking, never lifting the weights. Sometimes talking when lifting the weights. Gets excited when a friend enters the gym so they can stop training and talk somemore. One hour in the gym, only ten minutes of excersice done.

4. THE HASBEEN.

Tells everyone they used to be 300lb of solid muscle until they had a bad injury. If I never had my thyroid trouble I would be ripped. My job schedule stops me from being a pro bodybuilder. I don't need to train legs, my legs are big enough.

5. THE SCREAMER.

Even when lifting the lightest of weight, they scream, "Come on, one more rep." as loud as they can. "You need this one , you need it." Your out the door and half way down the street, but you still hear the screamer in the gym.

6. THE SHOWOFF.

Now this guy lives dangerously on the edge. He picks a weight that he can never do a serious workout with, but lifts until his eyes are popping out of his head. He can also be the opposite and use a light weight that a child can lift, but he reps away fast and happy with a stupid grin on his face because he think everyone is watching him.

7. THE WANNABE BODYBUILDER.

Thery are in every gym. They wear five sweatshirts in a the gym that is hot. The sweat is pouring of them, but they will not take off any tops because of the fear of looking small. Sweat has been on their skin for so long, they are smelly and full of achne.

8. THE STRONGMAN.

To lift heavy weights you need chalk to help your grip, but by the time they are finished they look like they have just wrestled with a baby after trying to put talcum-powder on their diaper. Every machine is untouchable after they have used it, unless you want to look the same.

9. THE T&A GIRL.

Now these come in two kinds, the first is a slim attractive girl with a figure to die for. Thong all in one suites and every bit of curve looks great. Then, we have the second kind, who thinks she is exactly the same as the above, only she is 200lb of unwanted waist and wears a thong all in one that shows that many dimples in her ass, a blind man could read it.

AND FINALY 10. THE WATCHER.

He sits in the gym taking notice of all the different kinds of people that train and posts it on the internet.

Ian 'The Machine' freeman.

[edro]

3216549870

[Ryu (non-working password]

I usually lift weights at home, but go to the gym to max out occasionally
Recently I've devoted a lot of my training to the same kind as M. Kimura. Pushups, uchikomi against a tree, etc.

Ryu

[dan downard]

I went to the gym with a friend once.I was gonna lift weights.But,when I got there.I found they were really heavy,so I went home.Seriously,I have short arms,and it takes nothing to get them big.But at the same time I lose so much flexability and maneuverability that I try and maintain a solid muscle base while staying lean.
The longer your arms,the longer the muscles.So to get bulk on a long arm takes more muscle than on a short arm.That's why small guys bulk up so quick.
If I lift too much I get to the point that I cant touch my own shoulder with that hand.
I like to be way more flexable than that.I like to be so flexable that you have to be tetering out of your base to try for subs.Then I have the chance to sweep.
Now granted,this wont work for me every time.But,during frantic rolling and scrambling for positions and subs,I find flexability works best for my small frame.

[Edited by dan downard on 01-11-2001 at 05:51 PM]

[Ian The Machine Freeman]

Lol @ Dan.

[Oldskulbus]

I have a long build (6 foot really thin) and I work out all the time but don't really get any bigger just more toned. I look like I weigh about 140 but really weigh 175. Haha I used to want to be all big an ripped like a pro body builder but this kind of strength is not the kind a martial artist needs. I think that the toned Bruce Lee body is more adaptable to situations. He had flexablity as well as strength.
I work mostly with free weights and do 800 situps a day. My goal in life is to be able to do a hand-stand-pushup but my goal for this year is 25 pull ups (I can do 18 now on a good day). I have recently been in a slump and am just getting out of it. There was a two week period where I didn't do anything... just kinda shut down. I don't know what snapped me out of it but I am glad to be working out again. What do you guys do when you get into a slump? Has anyone set any strength goals for the year?

[dan downard]

When I was 18 or so,I was a pushup freak.I would drop and do pushups while waiting in line at the movie theater.No kidding.It got rediculous.I couldnt sleep the whole night without getting up and doing pushups.I could do one handed pushups and pullups.I pumped off handstand pushups without a care.I have no idea when I started letting go of my dream to be big and strong.Now I am satisfied with just being load and obnoxious.
Now I HAVE to do pushups just to stay in shape.
What a cruel world.

[Underdog]

I used to be a "badass" in the weights room. Always wearing earphones and walkman pumping music. I kept my workouts short, never talked to anyone, and never cared about no one.

Ocasionally I've had problems with muscleheads, but nothing that a hard eye wouldn't have resolved. Some times I rested on a bench in a remote angle, watching all the types Ian mentioned.

All in all I've never been a bodybuilding nut. I do prefer hard calisthenic.

[What's inside a girl?]

11. The tough guy that wears MMA gear who tries to project an image which says "I'm an aimiable fellow, but I can kick your ass if I choose".

12. Same as 11) but tries to work his soon-to-be published autobiography into the conversation at the earliest opportunity.

[duchman]

13. the guy who gets a woody in the men shower's

14. the guy who never trains and writes shit on real fighter's

Reconise youre self what's inside girl???

[What's inside a girl?]

Hey douchebag, what do you have against homosexuals? Why did you keep on bringing the subject up? You seem to protest too much.

[duchman]

WIAG (what's inside a gay), why don't you post youre real name?? if have done it many times

[What's inside a girl?]

Why don't you post my real name dickhead. You keep on braggin that you know who I am, so let's hear it. If you can't, it proves you're a pu$$y.

[Jaguar Wong]

I went to the gym once (as a free trial thing), and All I did was goof off on the climbing wall with a couple of my friends for an hour or so. Man that climbing wall was tough. I can't even imagine what a real rock climber has to go through (with less grip even!!!). Then I went home and complained all the next day about how sore my shoulders and forearms were.

Now for the really sad part. I recently set a goal. I started doing pushups, and crunches every night, or every other night. I just recently got up to 144 pushups (not in one set). I started off by doing a pyramid set (1 pushup - rest, 2 pushups - rest...up to the top, then back down) to 7 or 8 (about 50 - 65 pushups), and worked my way up slowly. Some days I would do the pyramid set, and others I would just do them in sets of 10 - 15. Gradually I started raising the numbers (pyramid up to 9 or 10, or sets of 15 - 20). Now I am up to a pyramid set of 12, or I just do them in sets of 20 - 30 until I reach anywhere from 120 - 140 (or 144 last night).

I know that's pretty sad, but hey I've gotta start somewhere. I've always had the strength in my legs and abs, but I've also got the gut that I've been "growing" for the past couple of years (about 40+ of uneeded mass ), so I'm going to finally start working to get rid of it, and get back down to my fighting weight (about 165 - 170). not that I'm a fighter, that just sounds like a cool way to say it . Learning bjj has really helped to motivate me, since I really have to be in shape in order to last. Sometimes I get so tired, I start thinking about giving up submissions on purpose, but then I remember how much the neck cranks hurt, and I just keep fighting...then I end up tapping to a neck crank anyways.

[Ian The Machine Freeman]

Whats inside a girl.

My name is Ian Freeman. I live in Sunderland, England. I'm man enough to give you my name and address. How about you sharing yours. If you wish, I can call to your house and we can discuss my book in person. If you are not prepared to give me your name and address yourself, then I'm sure you have friends that will gladly give me your name. You know, Help me out and I'll help you.

So, if there is anyone out there who knows who 'Whats inside a girl' is, then e-mail me at ian@totalmartialarts.co.uk and I'll return the favour to you.

Unless, 'Whats inside a girl', says they are only having a joke and says sorry.