My Solution to the Taliban/Islamic Extremist Problem

[Tony10]

By the way, I'm still waiting for the "moderate" Islamic hit squads to go after Al Quida; surely they must be more outraged by Bin Laden and the Taliban than even us. Unfortunately, The West seems to bear the brunt of Islamic wrath, even with recent events. Hmm... where is everybody?

Some of you have probably heard that many of those rounded up here after 9/11 were people making "congratulatory" phone calls to fellow jagoffs on that horrible day.

And, of course, now you've got your now-tired, knee-jerk defense of the indefensible--Taliban, Bin Laden--by Muslims everywhere who are pissed that we dare bomb somebody Islamic, no matter what they did.

Funny, the Taliban will amputate your right hand and left foot for stealing a piece of bread, but apparently we are to, um, do nothing after somebody kills 5,000 of our people in the most horrific way imaginable.

So I have a solution. Those who have been caught here for what I mentioned above (those involved should be executed of course) and those in other nations squawking allegiance to the Slime of Humanity shall suffer the fate that most every turd suffers: being flushed. To where, you ask? Ahh... that is the beauty of this plan.

What better sewer than Afghanistan itself? Why not put it to good use and make it--literally--the dumping ground for all the people who want so dearly to be close to the Taliban and Bin Laden? In our little version of Islamic Fantasy Island, you will be flown over Afghanistan--along with your fellow sympathizers--in a C147, which you will then be pushed out of, with a self-opening parachute.

Then you can spend all the quality time you want with the people you admire. But you can never, ever leave Afghanistan. Borders will be sealed, escapees will be hunted down. We may have to annex Pakistan, but so it goes sometimes. We will not enter Afghanistan, we will not intervene in anyway... but we will seal it.

Then you can start your new life as an Arab under the Taliban and Bin Laden. You can see how much your fellow Jihad brothers really care about you, and about justice and about feeding you and keeping you healthy, just as the Taliban has managed to do so well for so many years...

We know you have a taste for war, so don't fret, my little Jihad Jackass: in time, your friends will do what they always do when they're not trying to kill us or anybody else not like them: they'll turn on their own. That's right: you'll be taking OUR place in no time, as the Taliban has declared war on just about any of their citizens for whatever spurious reason. It's all these people know how to do: kill, maim, rape, desecrate, destroy--it doesn't matter to whom. Allah akbar, indeed.

So there you'll be, with millions of your closest Islamic Extremist buddies--in your Islamic Theme Park, never to leave. Hey, it's what you always wanted, right? Everybody around you is like you, so there should be no problems, right? You're all Muslims, so there'll be no problems, right? Because that's what you say our problem is: we can't be pure until we're like you? Now that it's nothing BUT you guys, you should be in heaven on earth, yes?

We'll check back in 10 years to see how y'all are doing, just out of curiosity. Don't worry: Binny and the Jihads, we're sure, will take care of you as they've managed to do so well for so long. Because they're holy people, your life will be wonderful, as it has been for the people under the Taliban, or in Palestine, or in any of the non-Israeli countries.

Oops! Back up there, buddy! We told you you cannot leave. We've made a deal: we don't want to be like you, but far be it from us to stand in the way of YOU being you. So have at it. Forever.

In the meantime, Israel and us will go back to doing things like taking showers, not f*cking mudering everybody we possibly can, and trying to actually co-exist with our world neighbors (as bad as we can be at that too). We know this makes us the Great Satan in your eyes, but what do you care? You're safe in Afghanistan now--forever--in the caring arms of Binny & the Jihads. No music, no TV, no fun allowed! This is God's will. I'll think of you next time I crank Back in Black, you pathetic motherf*ckers.

Let's get those planes moving. It's time to take the trash where it belongs. This isn't a war, this is a global streets & san mission.

[bobby_steeles]

i used to be in favor of deporting all middle eastern immigrants back to where they came from. but then i realized 90% of the cabs on the street would have no drivers and all the 7 elevens shutting down would be bad for the economy.