Goron Alert

[John Bennett]

What is a Goron?

1. Gorons sincerely believe that Vice President Gore is a true environmentalist, when he has an environmental disaster on his own farm: a polluting zinc mine, from which he received $500,000 of income last year.

2. Gorons believe that the VP is anti-smoking and anti-tobacco when he has operated a tobacco farm for decades and accepted government subsidies.

3. Gorons truly believe that Gore is a Vietnam war hero, when in fact he was placed by family influence in a "cushy" correspondent's job and the only action he saw was that of his Brownie camera.

4. Gorons actually believe that Al Gore is justified in illegally raising political funds from the Office of the VP, simply because the Vanderbilt Law educated VP claims he was ignorant of the illegality.

5. Gorons believe that it was OK for Al Gore to accept large sums of political money from China through Buddhist monks who had taken vows of poverty, since he again claimed ignorance.

6. Gorons also believe that the man who claimed to "invent the internet" would be so computationally ignorant that he could lose weeks of potentially incriminating e-mail.

7. Gorons, incredibly, believe Gore's claim that he and Tipper were the models for the book and movie, "Love Story" even though the book's author, Erich Segal, says that's a bunch of crap.

8. Gorons, amazingly, believe that Gore will be the consumer's champion against high gasoline prices although Gore holds a million dollars in Occidental Petroleum stock.

9. Gorons applaud Mr. Lieberman's open rejection of President Clinton's immorality, but believe it was fine for Mr. Gore to remain silent on the subject, while simultaneously declaring Mr. Clinton "one of the greatest Presidents of our history."

10. Gorons believe that Al Gore is an effective leader, when they won't bother to look at his record as a Tennessee Senator, a record so ineffective that it has led to election of Republicans as BOTH of Tennessee's senators.

11. Gorons hold the belief that Gore is a compassionate man who will be the working man's friend, in spite of the eviction notice he served to the poor family who complained about the conditions of the run down slum house that he was renting to them.


Cautionary Note:Medical researchers acknowledge the Gorons are generally harmless, except when allowed into a voting booth. There, unfortunately, overcome by their gullibility syndrome, they are apt to actually vote for Gore. They should be carefully protected from their ailment, since it may be harmful to their well-being, yours, mine, and that of the USA. Therefore, PLEASE, heed the Surgeon General's warning, reach out to aid the Gorons in overcoming the syndrome, and PLEASE pass this on to your normal friends, who might also know Gorons who need immediate treatment.

[assface]

1. I don't know as to how sincere he is, but you have to have a lot of balls to write the book he wrote. It was just short of political suicide. If Bill thought he didn't need Gore, Gore would be nowhere right now. 'Sides, I think he'd do more than Bush on the issue.
2. Have you listened to his speeches on the matter? Did he accept subsidies after his sister's death? Does he still grow tobacco? (I'm not trying to be confrontational on the last two questions. I'm really curious to know) As for Bush, c'mon, he's republican. I kinda wondering what kind of deals he's making to lock up the southern states.
3. Sure his job was "cushy" in vietnam. But vietnam was vietnam. Ever see Full Metal Jacket? That guy there was a journalist (yes, I know it's just a movie. But a very good movie! ). Besides, look at Bush. Now Bush's participation in Vietnam was "CUSHY!" He was there just in case the North Vietnamese(sp?) managed to invade the US through Texas. Good job George!
4. So what! What he did wasn't SO bad. At least he didn't get caught with is pants down! Har, har.
5. At the monastery he was accepting money from Tibetan monks (you can call the tibetan monks chinese if you want to, but I wouldn't). I'm not saying he didn't accept money from the Chinese, he did that too. But I believe the Chinese participated in the 'Tea Party' fundraising events. Accepting money ain't so bad. Every party does it. The problem is Clinton/Gore chose to accept it in the White House, which is a big No-No.
6. I ain't touchin' that.
8. I actually think he would tax gasoline and energy more. This is in keeping with the themes discussed in his book.
9. It's all politics. Gore chose liberman, I believe, specifically on this issue. Gore backed Clinton to stregthen their position in the White House. Gore chose Liberman to distance himself from the decision he made, and from the current White House. Just as Bush chose Cheney because Bush is an idiot and Cheney isn't.
10. Well, that's true, but the Republican idea of leadership is controling the government. If they control the whole Congress and the Presidency they'll be able to get a lot done (read: good leadership). Not that this is necessarily a good thing. There's a difference between leadership and total control.

I personally believe that both men are unacceptably incompetent (Bush maybe more so). I wish Clinton was running again. Really, I would have voted for McCain. I liked him. I liked what he wanted to do, and he would have been good for our ailing presidency. Yes, I know that McCain and Gore would have conflicted on the issues, McCain just would have been better for the country. To see him campaigning for Bush really burns me up! Besides, it would take a lot for me to help ANOTHER Bush into the White House.

[Ninjagod]

Yea and Gorons belive Bush was a drunk with a coke habit who snuck out of the war. Gorons also belive that Bush is so dumb he has the name of his father just to make it easier to remember. Gorons dont so much belive the Gore machines bull*hit as they know for a fact that Bush is the anti-christ. The joke is on us. Free country...hehe ya right. 2 choices, both a front for various money causes. The choice is between bull*hit and facisim.


"I hear Vancouver is nice"

[Mickey Finn]

Somebody on this thread has some seriously nasty bad breath.

[bobby_steeles]

--words of wisdom from the man known as "assface"...