What animal would you most NOT want to fight?

[Chill Daddy Ace]

Tigers are bigger than lions, and are better killers. Lions (lionesses) hunt in packs, tigers go on John J Rambo missions.

Tigers will butt-rape a lion, and then donkeypunch his lionesses. Then he may take out the occasional villager.

[Mickey Finn]

Originally posted by Zhoozhitsu

Mickey, my point is still valid. When did I use the word "lioness"? Had that been a lion, our little friend Chauque, a security guard at Marloth Park, wouldn't have lived to tell that story.

Read the whole thing:

“Last month, builder Thomas Hlatswayo, 22, fought off three LIONS by swinging a bundle of firewood tied with rope at them.”

He punked three lions with a stick on a string. Try that on a Great White!

[hounddog]

LMAO!

[Jimmy23]

i read somewhere that in Africa,hippopotamus attacks kill more people then all other animal attacks combined.
Any chimp will beat a man to death,they are fantastically strong and can bite horribly.
An animal here,in Mississippi,that isnt really dangerous but terrifed me once when I was six is the Least Tern.They nest on the beach(yes there are beaches in Mississippi) and will dive bomb anything that comes near their nest.One attacked me when I was little boy.I though i was smart and after his second dive i grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at him as he was about to hit me,and the agile little bastard avoided it and still got a swipe in on me.It pissed him off though,he called another bird and both of em started attacking me.Being only six,i was thoroughly defeated by this,and ran away in terror as two tiny birds chased me.
As for a great white,well,they dont scare me as I think I would die too fast to feel much pain

[The Colonie Crusher]

What about an elephant?

I say an elephant might be the most dangerous. Imagine an elephant steppin' on you?

[YeLLa-TiGeR]

Or an Elephant sitting on you and taking a crap on you, now that would suck.

[Ryu (non-working password]

been there....*sigh*




.........
nah I just made that up.

[Newbie]

I read somewhere that if an elephant charges you and wants to kill you, your chances of survival are almost non-existant. They are faster than you, if you try to go to the water, they are better swimmers than you, and if you climb a tree they will simply knock it over.

Has anyone here ever fought a dog or seen someone else fight one? If so, what breed was it and what was the outcome. I know I posted a troll on this subject a while back, except does anyone here have any honest suggestions on what to do if confronted by a dog, such as bluffing it down, etc...? I was told that threatening arm gestures in particular confuse and frighten dogs.

[Edited by Newbie on 11-16-2000 at 07:37 AM]

[Newbie]

Zhoozhitsu

"Now, does anyone know if a lion can win a fight against a 1,600lb. bear?"

No, a lion will usually be killed by a 1,600 pound bear. I read in a book that a Bengal Tiger, which is generaally a better fighter than a Lion, got into a fight with a polar Bear in a zoo in the 1930s. The book said that the Polar bear was "frightfully lacerated", except killed the Tiger.
I also read in a different book that the Romans matched different animals in their circuses. Of the top three finishers, NOT ONE WAS A PREDATOR. As far as Lions are concerned, there are dozens of animal breeds better at fighting than them. The Hippopotamus was third, the Rhinoceros was second, and the Elephant was first. However, I read in a book that a Hippopotamus grabbed a Rhinoceros by leg unexpectedly once while it was drinking by a river, dragged it into the water, and drowned it.

Yella-Tiger

"Or an Elephant sitting on you and taking a crap on you, now that would suck."

Or a male elephant having his way with you. Slow, Agonizing, and humiliating death. NOW THAT WOULD SUCK!!!




[Edited by Newbie on 11-16-2000 at 07:16 AM]

[Joe Manco]

I thought Newbie was deathly afraid of hostile labs ... to the extent he intricately plans their murder.

Now all of a sudden it's a troll?

I truly think we have another Jeffrey Dahmer on our board.

Hey Newbie: you seduce any young, gay black men lately? Or how about any Loatians?

Perhaps you have some dogs crucified in your back yard and are still getting your "preserving balm" straight so you don't have to resort to refrigeration.

Yours truly,

Joe

[Evilution]

Fighting an elephant would suck, you couldn't hurt it at all without a real weapon. Has anyone ever seen an elephant kill someone? They crush them but not by stomping on them. They knock them down and pin them to the ground with their head or tusks, then lift their rear legs off the ground and do a handstand on their victim. Putting all their weight on them crushes them pretty well. No shit either, I saw videotape of this happening. It was disturbing.

The gorilla would suck, especially since it's NOT a predator. It won't efficiently crush your windpipe, it'll beat you and throw you through the air and break you in half then leave you to die. Ouch.

The hippo and rhino would suck too, they are both just huge and powerful and probably won't kill you clean. Plus what are you gonna do to em? Eye-boink em while you're flying through the air?

Being attacked by any animal in the water. I don't like the idea of fighting for my life when I'm out of my element.

[yusul]

Newbie: my friend's dog was attack by a dog (i think the attacking dog was a pit bull crossbreed). my friend grabbed the pit by the collar while it was distracted, and lifted it off the ground (by the collar). the dog's neck was about 2-3 off the ground, and the dog wasn't too happy because it was trying to breathe. my friend put the dog down when the other dogs owner reached it, and the offender(s) left after a brief argument. personally, if i was fighting a dog, i would go for a choke since if you aren't good enough to KO a big dog, all you're gonna do is piss it off.

[Eazy-E]

Gents,

Crapped on or sodomized by an elephant?!

I see the forum is still in good taste as ever!


I think that the most dangerous animal on land is the polar bear - these suckers are the biggest of all bears and strict carnivores. I think they are the only land predator that naturally hunts humans!

The big ones are over 2000 lbs and they are quite stealthy, besides being very fast and excellent swimmers.

Granted, an elephant, rhino or hippo are probably bitter pure fighting machines, but these great beasts arent carnivores and wont attack w/o some provocation. The polar bear, however, will stalk humans for prey if given the chance.

Its kind of strange how Hollywood shows Polar bears as cute cuddly things in commercials, when in truth they are huge predators that would love to snack on a human.

E

[Oldskulbus]

There is a great movie called "The Edge" with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin. Three guys are stalked by a bear in the alasken wilderness. Anyone else seen it?

[YeLLa-TiGeR]

Yes, it was an ok movie, I dont get why he tried to save him in the end though. The bear should of been the center piece for the plot, not fighting over the wife. The bear is actually quite gentle.