When I met the BJJ Brothers

SanShou · 11-04-2003, 04:24 PM

It seems that every one of these cage fighting no-rules guys are always walking around trying to act tough. My physique and street rep always draw attention to me, so there always seems to be some MMA guy trying to prove himself.

Quite a few years ago, I was lifting in my gym, and was told about some South Americans giving jujitsu lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers by the last name of Gracie along with their dad. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracie's were sizing me up. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiselled rock hard body always seemed to make MA masters try out their punches on me for some reason.

Anyways, the main guy (Horse or Hoyse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and taking me down. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds; you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his arms and kind of shoot my legs back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry (I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time. This time for real."

I am definitely pissed now so I invite him to try. I planned on showing him what for real was. He did the kick into the dive tackle again, but this time I grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up and power bombed him hard on the mat. I heard a moan from him as his eyes rolled back. He was out cold. I stand over him flexing (I was raging so flexing just comes natural to me) and all of a sudden I feel someone grab around my neck. It's the guy's old ass father! I was raging, but I have my limits, so I merely grabbed his head and snapmared him over my shoulder, cracking him down on his ass. I guess I did it a little to hard as fell over moaning. The other brother (Henso? I think was how he had introduced himself) punched me from the side, but he punched like a girl, and I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the stomach and then head butted him. He went down lying on his stomach and I reached and grabbed his ankles and began spinning around. I timed the release just right and he went flying into the wall where crumpled to the floor.

The people around looked in awe. I grabbed Horses Gi and wiped my mouth. I told the people, " Look, Mixed Martial arts are good for little weaklings and there are some benefits to them, but there is not a mA invented that can overcome strength, street fighting knowledge, and rage. Get big, strong, and learn how to do some moves. You won't ever have to pay a dime to some sensei to teach you something." With that I left the gym. That night I picked up a Colombian hottie that I stuck it to all night in celebration of my punking out those guys. I have heard those Gracey guys have gone on to have some success in the fighting world, and they can keep having it, just as long as they don't cross paths with me again.

Great Sage · 11-04-2003, 04:28 PM

Let me know when you get back to earth...

Tom Yum · 11-04-2003, 04:28 PM

Did you ever write for the Enquirer? You might consider. Keep on going to your brazilian bros for BJ. Whatever floats your boat there.

FUH-Q · 11-04-2003, 04:39 PM

dude, seriously, take your homo-erotic fantasies somewhere else. i believe the columbian hottie he was talking about was a man.

Szczepankiewicz · 11-04-2003, 04:43 PM

That was f****N Hilarious!

Great job!

More! Me want More!

Spanky

Tom Yum · 11-04-2003, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FUH-Q
dude, seriously, take your homo-erotic fantasies somewhere else. i believe the columbian hottie he was talking about was a man.

Homer Simpson-esque fantasy indeed in a twisted fashion. SS probably sits at home all day trying to s@&k himself off. Keep trying!

Tom Yum · 11-04-2003, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SanShou

Quite a few years ago, I was SPANKING THE MONKEY in my BATHROOM, and was told about some South Americans giving BJ lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracie's were sizing me up, EVEN THOUGH I AM HUNG LIKE A SQUIRREL. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiselled rock hard body always seemed to make TRANSVESTITES try out their LICKS on me for some reason.

Anyways, the main guy (Horse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and GETTING ME IN NORTH_SOUTH POSITION. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds; you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." THEN I REALIZED WHY THEY CALL HIM HORSE!! I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his LEGS and kind of shoot my BUTTOCKS back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry (I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time!"

Uhh...ok.

**HuSanYan** · 11-04-2003, 05:14 PM

good grief

Szczepankiewicz · 11-04-2003, 05:21 PM

Whatyouhavenosenseofhumor????

SanShou · 11-04-2003, 05:26 PM

you might want to think about Hu started this thread, because as in the Chinese forum, it would indeed appear that u are the type of guy that cannot cope with any one elses sense of humour.....gotcha lil techie........

Tom Yum · 11-04-2003, 05:26 PM

hewasexpectingadifferentresponsetothesanshoutrollguy.

Szczepankiewicz · 11-04-2003, 05:32 PM

Oh, I can cope.

I'll ban the lot of ya... How's that for coping?

Actually, that's not funny. Too many times mods get drunk with power and start throwing their weight around.

If you're gonna pick on anyone it should be me. In fact, I need all the attention I can get. Good or bad.

No more banning references in humor. It's about as funny as a parent threatening to abandon their kid out in the middle of the wilderness.

I would never abandon, you, my chidrens, to the dark scariness of the Internet.

Spanky

SanShou · 11-04-2003, 05:34 PM

hey dude,
i agree with ya,
who is this 'Spanky spank the monkey wing dong jak man' Troll anyways?????//

Szczepankiewicz · 11-04-2003, 05:35 PM

I bask in the glory of my Internet Celebrity....

SanShou · 11-04-2003, 05:37 PM

looks a tiny tad bit of a TrollVasion Spanky my son

11-04-2003, 04:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
SanShou Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 15	When I met the BJJ Brothers It seems that every one of these cage fighting no-rules guys are always walking around trying to act tough. My physique and street rep always draw attention to me, so there always seems to be some MMA guy trying to prove himself. Quite a few years ago, I was lifting in my gym, and was told about some South Americans giving jujitsu lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers by the last name of Gracie along with their dad. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracie's were sizing me up. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiselled rock hard body always seemed to make MA masters try out their punches on me for some reason. Anyways, the main guy (Horse or Hoyse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and taking me down. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds; you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his arms and kind of shoot my legs back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry (I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time. This time for real." I am definitely pissed now so I invite him to try. I planned on showing him what for real was. He did the kick into the dive tackle again, but this time I grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up and power bombed him hard on the mat. I heard a moan from him as his eyes rolled back. He was out cold. I stand over him flexing (I was raging so flexing just comes natural to me) and all of a sudden I feel someone grab around my neck. It's the guy's old ass father! I was raging, but I have my limits, so I merely grabbed his head and snapmared him over my shoulder, cracking him down on his ass. I guess I did it a little to hard as fell over moaning. The other brother (Henso? I think was how he had introduced himself) punched me from the side, but he punched like a girl, and I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the stomach and then head butted him. He went down lying on his stomach and I reached and grabbed his ankles and began spinning around. I timed the release just right and he went flying into the wall where crumpled to the floor. The people around looked in awe. I grabbed Horses Gi and wiped my mouth. I told the people, " Look, Mixed Martial arts are good for little weaklings and there are some benefits to them, but there is not a mA invented that can overcome strength, street fighting knowledge, and rage. Get big, strong, and learn how to do some moves. You won't ever have to pay a dime to some sensei to teach you something." With that I left the gym. That night I picked up a Colombian hottie that I stuck it to all night in celebration of my punking out those guys. I have heard those Gracey guys have gone on to have some success in the fighting world, and they can keep having it, just as long as they don't cross paths with me again.

11-04-2003, 04:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
Great Sage Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Nowhere, USA... Posts: 510	Let me know when you get back to earth... __________________ The sage experiences without abstraction, And accomplishes without action; He accepts the ebb and flow of things, Nurtures them, but does not own them, And lives, but does not dwell.

11-04-2003, 05:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
SanShou Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 15	Szczepankiewicz you might want to think about Hu started this thread, because as in the Chinese forum, it would indeed appear that u are the type of guy that cannot cope with any one elses sense of humour.....gotcha lil techie........

11-04-2003, 05:34 PM	#13 (permalink)
SanShou Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 15	HuSanYan hey dude, i agree with ya, who is this 'Spanky spank the monkey wing dong jak man' Troll anyways?????//

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11-04-2003, 04:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
Tom Yum Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Here and there. Posts: 11,220	Did you ever write for the Enquirer? You might consider. Keep on going to your brazilian bros for BJ. Whatever floats your boat there.

11-04-2003, 04:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
FUH-Q Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 54	dude, seriously, take your homo-erotic fantasies somewhere else. i believe the columbian hottie he was talking about was a man.

11-04-2003, 04:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
Szczepankiewicz Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Meridian, ID, USA Posts: 4,109	That was f****N Hilarious! Great job! More! Me want More! Spanky

11-04-2003, 05:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
HuSanYan Premiere Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 645	good grief

11-04-2003, 05:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
Szczepankiewicz Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Meridian, ID, USA Posts: 4,109	Whatyouhavenosenseofhumor????

11-04-2003, 05:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
Tom Yum Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Here and there. Posts: 11,220	hewasexpectingadifferentresponsetothesanshoutrollguy.

11-04-2003, 05:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
Szczepankiewicz Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Meridian, ID, USA Posts: 4,109	Oh, I can cope. I'll ban the lot of ya... How's that for coping? Actually, that's not funny. Too many times mods get drunk with power and start throwing their weight around. If you're gonna pick on anyone it should be me. In fact, I need all the attention I can get. Good or bad. No more banning references in humor. It's about as funny as a parent threatening to abandon their kid out in the middle of the wilderness. I would never abandon, you, my chidrens, to the dark scariness of the Internet. Spanky

11-04-2003, 05:35 PM	#14 (permalink)
Szczepankiewicz Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Meridian, ID, USA Posts: 4,109	I bask in the glory of my Internet Celebrity....

11-04-2003, 05:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
SanShou Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 15	looks a tiny tad bit of a TrollVasion Spanky my son

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