Gato

Most of you have more experience in this than I do so here goes....

I've been attracted to (maybe obsessed with is the proper term here) this girl ever since I met her (over four and a half years now). She doens't know for certain - maybe she suspects - we have caught each other stealing glances at each other several times. We aren't very close, but we've had a cordial friendship since we met. But sometimes she gets all moody. She snapped at me once last year when I asked her how she was, so I avoided her, and then about two hours later after class she was smiling at me again. What gives?

About a year ago, she seemed to be a very close friend. Two weeks ago she seemed like a good friend. And before that she was like a stranger who didn't care whether or not I existed (she probably also felt the same about me, because I was giving her a lot of space after she ignored me when I greeted her twice). And further before that in February she flirted with me. Recently, she's been a little distant again. So could she be telling me to stay away, or is she playing hard-to-get? A part of me wants to up the relationship from a platonic one to a romantic one, but another part of me doesn't want to risk losing her as a friend.

All my family and close friends tell me to let her know how I feel, or at least ask her if she's got a "special someone". Two of them also told me to make the opportunity and not wait for it because I've already waited too long, she might get someone else if she doesn't have one already. According to my brother, "You're waiting - maybe she's waiting too - there's no force - nothing's happening".

However, there's a chance that if she has no interest, she just might stop talking to me for good. Then again, maybe she's not saying anything because she may think I have no interest. To the ladies on these forums, you have more insight on these things. Should I have a little more patience and hold out for her a little longer and wait for her to say something, or should I take the initiative and let her know how feel?

Garland

Bro...I hate to tell you this, but an internet message board is absolutely NOT the place to come for relationship advice.

Take me for example...Sure, I'm a bastard, and I alienate my friends and family....but do I air my dirty laundry on the internet...NOT A FUCKING CHANCE. When shit is hitting the fan, or I'm curious about something...I ask one of my friends...and do I take THEIR advice...nope.

If a girl (I've been seeing somebody in a commited relationship for about 5 months...so I don't look anymore) doesn't seem interested in you, fine, **** her...just think to yourself, "I ain't gonna take it personal"...and just go on to some other girl...

On top of that...here's my advice; Given the current economy, having a girlfriend is not a fiscally responsible thing to do. Just like all people, girls, for the most part, can seem fun and interesting until you REALLY get to know them...and...as Jay said "There is but one bitch in the world, one bitch with many faces." If some girl ain't interested in you...there are a few things it could be...you could be an undesireable schmuck...or she just isn't your type, in either case, **** it, drink some beers, find a party, and just have a good time, no use worrying about what anyone, much less some CHICK, you just have a creepy, se7en-esque crush on thinks.

Get over it.

or...
drop my patented lines and see what she says;
1. "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
or 2. "wanna be a star? GET IN THE FUCKING TRUNK!"

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homo homini lupus

Gato

Hee hee.... good one.I have spoken to my friends about her. I'm not trying to have a girlfriend for the sake of just having someone hanging around with me. I'm looking further ahead than that. If I were to get one, I'm hoping that we would eventually get married and settle down. The way I see it, that is the ultimate goal of getting to know a girl, and not some one-night-stand thing. But that's and ideal. In reality, it's probably gonna take me years to find the right one.

And she is not a bitch. She's actually a very nice, forgiving person. We're both all-business during training, and after class and we're like normal kids talking about things other than martial arts. However, I've still been getting mixed signals. The things I mentioned were during class. I guess I'll just keep my mouth shut about that subject with her for now...

Thanks anyway

Garland

Dude...how fucking old ARE you???
kids...get married...jesus. GOD HELP ME!
okay...at first, I was thinking "stalker"...but now I KNOW you're fucking nuts.
GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT, SON.
marraige is for those who have enough money to actually "settle down" as you put it...my advice...go to school, get a good job, look around a little...travel... and then, when you're about 40...maybe, MAYBE marriage.

I just got a cramp in my stomach. I honestly feel sick knowing that there are MORE of you crazy breeders out there.

that's it...a few more cats like you show up and I'd be OBLIGATED to switch to the other team, for the WORLD'S sake. What do you think, if I started taking it in the ass I'd get a medal???

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homo homini lupus

Tom Yum

Talk to her.

Who knows? Maybe she had a bad day?? Blow it off, go talk to her...

Be persistent, but not too hot....keep it at a low simmer, my friend.


Your family and friends are right, especially kuya.

Let me say that there are very, very few ladies hanging out on martial arts boards....

Now, back to your problem. Keep it on a low heat. Show her that you're interested, but don't waste your time analyzing this stuff all day. Get on with your life, your classwork and your leisure time or we'll start calling you ateh gata....just kidding.

Really, let her know you're interested, but don't chase her. Let her get comfortable with the thought. If she really is interested in you and knows that you're interested, let her come to you.


Good Luck!

Tant01

I was watching one of those documentaries the other day and they say there is only a 2% difference genetically between a man and a chimpanzee but a female.... she has a completely different "Y" chromozome that men do not... Conclusion? Men are more similar to monkeys than we are to girls...

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"In all countries where personal freedom is valued, however much each individual may rely on legal redress, the right of each to carry arms - and these the best and the sharpest - for his own protection in case of extremity, is a right of nature indelible and irrepressible, and the more it is sought to be repressed the more it will recur."

James Paterson

gregimotis

Gato - while considering this guys convoluted advice, recall that he has a crush on an INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD ACCOUNTHOLDER WHOM HE HAS NEVER MET!!!! Not that I haven't played the pot, but Tom Yum is DEFINETLY the kettle.

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I am Tired. Tired. Tired.

Tom Yum

I was just monkeying around....???

Tom Yum

Ya got me gregi .

(Edited by Tom Yum: Gato can learn for himself...)

Seriously Gato, be yourself and be patient, bro.

I wish you the best of luck.

Tant01

Maybe you should get a spine and ask the girl on a date.

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"In all countries where personal freedom is valued, however much each individual may rely on legal redress, the right of each to carry arms - and these the best and the sharpest - for his own protection in case of extremity, is a right of nature indelible and irrepressible, and the more it is sought to be repressed the more it will recur."

James Paterson

Tom Yum

Now that was not very PC, tanto....jj.

Tant01

But still no where near as painfull as a sharp stick in the eye...


I have good intentions.

__________________

"In all countries where personal freedom is valued, however much each individual may rely on legal redress, the right of each to carry arms - and these the best and the sharpest - for his own protection in case of extremity, is a right of nature indelible and irrepressible, and the more it is sought to be repressed the more it will recur."

James Paterson

Tom Yum

I know Tant, I was just teasing.

Tant01

Yeah well, he better do something before she starts getting the idea he's too creepy and decides to file for a restraining order!

LOL...

__________________

"In all countries where personal freedom is valued, however much each individual may rely on legal redress, the right of each to carry arms - and these the best and the sharpest - for his own protection in case of extremity, is a right of nature indelible and irrepressible, and the more it is sought to be repressed the more it will recur."

James Paterson

Tom Yum

Yeah, having a crush on a woman for 4 1/2 years and hanging out where she is probably isn't too flattering.