Another shit weekend.

Garland · 04-16-2006, 01:17 AM

So...I've been working my hands to the bone with school, and I've been taking energy pills to try and stay up so that I can work bussing tables...

Last night I had a really weird experience, I don't know what I'd place it as, maybe a psychotic episode brought on by caffeine, sleep deprevation, and stress. I just had this overwhelming feeling that nothing I, nor anyone else, did would matter in the grand scheme of things. I felt like I was dying and that there was nothing beyond this, all that I'd experienced in my life was shadowed by this immense dispair and nothingness. As if I could feel this so strongly that I could actually SEE it. I turned the tv back on and tried to forget, but I woke up today, and I feel different then I did yesterday, as if I'm not even the same person. I'm scared and affraid, and I feel sick and uneasy about everything to a point where it's hard for me to place it in words...I feel helpless.

I had to call off a date this morning (she wanted to go to a rave tonight), because I just wanted to get some sleep and maybe bang out one or two of my last remaining english/lit assignments. I've been pulling great grades, which takes alot of pressure off of my family and myself because of all of the grants and scholarships, so...it's pretty much mandatory to try and make the A. My parent's are having great financial difficulties right now, and my ex has been less than supportive of my plight, sometimes she can pull me out of a dark mood, but other times, she acts completely insane, and does a great deal of things that make me worry about her and her safety.

So...
Shortly after I get off the phone, and start posting here, pick up my eng book and start trying to write these assignments, comes a knock upon my door.

It's a friend of mine, and he's completely out of breath, the first thing he does is ask for a glass of water, and then goes outside with me for a cigarette. When he catches his breath he tells me that two of my other friends, including my best friend who is like a brother to me, are being arrested down the street.

One of them had decided to snatch a purse at a local grocery store, and there was a substantial amount of narcotics in the car. I learn the details and the course of events through my pal, and through the fucking police officer who calls MY cell phone looking for him. (I hand the phone over to my pal...I would have if the cop asked nicely, even though the one who originally called (out of three that my pal talked to) was threatening and being a prick.)

So...now two of my close friends are in jail, and facing two second degree felonies. They did something stupid...but their shit also falls in my lap as far as my emotional and therefore physical well being are concerned.

This HAS NOT been my week.

7r14ngL3Ch0k3 · 04-16-2006, 01:24 AM

Try to lift yourself out of your depression, yes depression. Do whatever MA you do and go out with anybody you can, epecially a girl! You should, get your priorities straight, stop abusing caffeine products, drink a few beers, smoke a few cigs, and bang a girl...then youll be happy. And ofcoarse, do your assignments, and dont worry about your jailed friends...after all nothing/nobody really matters.
Ive had experiances where after a certain event i feel forever changed and affected in negative way, but you can rise up out of that!

jubaji · 04-16-2006, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garland

So...I've been working my hands to the bone with school, and I've been taking energy pills to try and stay up so that I can work bussing tables...

Last night I had a really weird experience, I don't know what I'd place it as, maybe a psychotic episode brought on by caffeine, sleep deprevation, and stress. I just had this overwhelming feeling that nothing I, nor anyone else, did would matter in the grand scheme of things. I felt like I was dying and that there was nothing beyond this, all that I'd experienced in my life was shadowed by this immense dispair and nothingness. As if I could feel this so strongly that I could actually SEE it. I turned the tv back on and tried to forget, but I woke up today, and I feel different then I did yesterday, as if I'm not even the same person. I'm scared and affraid, and I feel sick and uneasy about everything to a point where it's hard for me to place it in words...I feel helpless.

I had to call off a date this morning (she wanted to go to a rave tonight), because I just wanted to get some sleep and maybe bang out one or two of my last remaining english/lit assignments. I've been pulling great grades, which takes alot of pressure off of my family and myself because of all of the grants and scholarships, so...it's pretty much mandatory to try and make the A. My parent's are having great financial difficulties right now, and my ex has been less than supportive of my plight, sometimes she can pull me out of a dark mood, but other times, she acts completely insane, and does a great deal of things that make me worry about her and her safety.

So...
Shortly after I get off the phone, and start posting here, pick up my eng book and start trying to write these assignments, comes a knock upon my door.

It's a friend of mine, and he's completely out of breath, the first thing he does is ask for a glass of water, and then goes outside with me for a cigarette. When he catches his breath he tells me that two of my other friends, including my best friend who is like a brother to me, are being arrested down the street.

One of them had decided to snatch a purse at a local grocery store, and there was a substantial amount of narcotics in the car. I learn the details and the course of events through my pal, and through the fucking police officer who calls MY cell phone looking for him. (I hand the phone over to my pal...I would have if the cop asked nicely, even though the one who originally called (out of three that my pal talked to) was threatening and being a prick.)

So...now two of my close friends are in jail, and facing two second degree felonies. They did something stupid...but their shit also falls in my lap as far as my emotional and therefore physical well being are concerned.

This HAS NOT been my week.

First, stop with the energy pills. Next, stop with the dramatics. Next, get rid of those stupid friends who will pull you to the botton like an anchor. Next, stop blaming police officers for doing their job. Next, get rid of anyone else in your life who is 'helping' you with this self-pitying depression. Go see a shrink if you need to. Go grab a beer and get yourself a broad asap.

And you're all set!

blitz · 04-16-2006, 07:51 AM

Yeah lay off the drugs.
And I wonder why your best friends would be drug dealers and robbers...? I'm not trying to critisize you but man your hanging out with the wrong people.

**kingoftheforest** · 04-16-2006, 09:59 AM

Hey Garland I have watched your posts on here for awhile and I gotta say most of the time you seem like you've got more together than most people your age so the depression thing id kinda weird.

Second the pills of the type you are taking can mess with your emotions over a period of time add stress and sleep depravation, which also cause emotional probs and you've got a damn nice psyco cocktail. All these factors mess with chemicals in your body such as tryptophan. Tryptophan is produced by your body to regulate moods. When you are hungry you get irritable because you have a low level of this. When you eat your body releases this endorphine and you get a very slight euphoric feeling.

Stress and lack of sleep impede the body's ability to produce this.

Second a this point in your life I am sure firends are very important to you. It's fine to feel worried for your friends but remember it's "YOUR" future you have to worry about so don't let yourself get screwed up because your friends aren't intelligent enough to stay out of trouble.

Getting into trouble with or for your friends for some things is ok but snatching a purse is just damn stupid man especially when you know you're in possesion of illegal substances. That sounds like a Johnny Knoxville jackass stunt.

You seem real intelligent dude don't screw it up man.

osopardo · 04-17-2006, 09:03 PM

That kinda hopeless despair is quite common among atheists. Useta feel like that all the time m'self, until I got born again.

You really oughta try it, I mean it's not as if you were living a "Hef" lifestyle...

Garland · 04-17-2006, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by osopardo

You really oughta try it, I mean it's not as if you were living a "Hef" lifestyle...

suck-a-dick.

osopardo · 04-17-2006, 09:14 PM

From your post it's obvious you're going through a time of great stress and the psyche reacts in different ways to cope with the pressure. You need to lay off any substances unless prescribed by a doctor and in the prescribed dosages, you need to get more rest and you need to dedicate time to some activity which can take your mind off the responsibilities you've put on yourself. I seen young guys like you try to do it all and get sick (physically, spiritually, mentally) and fail miserably indeed because they tried to do it all and do it all at once. Give yourself some down time. You should be enjoying the trip, not just looking towards the destination.

osopardo · 04-17-2006, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garland

suck-a-dick.

...Ouch!

7r14ngL3Ch0k3 · 04-17-2006, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by osopardo

...Ouch!

Osopardo, are you homosexual or something?

Garland · 04-17-2006, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by osopardo

...Ouch!

sorry...it's the drugs talking.

(by the way, I tossed out the energy pills, I haven't done an illicit drug for well over a year....that includes pot.)

The born again comment sorta set me off...now isn't the time to preach "Jesus Saves" shit to me.

BoarSpear · 04-17-2006, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7r14ngL3Ch0k3

Osopardo, are you homosexual or something?

you seem to be looking for dates a long way from home.

PS this sort of thing is best done through PM's

BoarSpear · 04-17-2006, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garland

...now isn't the time to preach "Jesus Saves" shit to me.

What the hell, i aint prejduiced times are hard, im curious wheres does he shop, and how much does he save? does he clip coupons?

7r14ngL3Ch0k3 · 04-17-2006, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoarSpear

you seem to be looking for dates a long way from home.

PS this sort of thing is best done through PM's

No, fvcking hate Gays and am completely grossed out by anything homosexual!

treelizard · 04-17-2006, 09:30 PM

What jubaji said, except I wouldn't recommend too much alcohol b/c it's a downer.

04-16-2006, 01:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
Garland Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 5,011 Groans: 1 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Another shit weekend. So...I've been working my hands to the bone with school, and I've been taking energy pills to try and stay up so that I can work bussing tables... Last night I had a really weird experience, I don't know what I'd place it as, maybe a psychotic episode brought on by caffeine, sleep deprevation, and stress. I just had this overwhelming feeling that nothing I, nor anyone else, did would matter in the grand scheme of things. I felt like I was dying and that there was nothing beyond this, all that I'd experienced in my life was shadowed by this immense dispair and nothingness. As if I could feel this so strongly that I could actually SEE it. I turned the tv back on and tried to forget, but I woke up today, and I feel different then I did yesterday, as if I'm not even the same person. I'm scared and affraid, and I feel sick and uneasy about everything to a point where it's hard for me to place it in words...I feel helpless. I had to call off a date this morning (she wanted to go to a rave tonight), because I just wanted to get some sleep and maybe bang out one or two of my last remaining english/lit assignments. I've been pulling great grades, which takes alot of pressure off of my family and myself because of all of the grants and scholarships, so...it's pretty much mandatory to try and make the A. My parent's are having great financial difficulties right now, and my ex has been less than supportive of my plight, sometimes she can pull me out of a dark mood, but other times, she acts completely insane, and does a great deal of things that make me worry about her and her safety. So... Shortly after I get off the phone, and start posting here, pick up my eng book and start trying to write these assignments, comes a knock upon my door. It's a friend of mine, and he's completely out of breath, the first thing he does is ask for a glass of water, and then goes outside with me for a cigarette. When he catches his breath he tells me that two of my other friends, including my best friend who is like a brother to me, are being arrested down the street. One of them had decided to snatch a purse at a local grocery store, and there was a substantial amount of narcotics in the car. I learn the details and the course of events through my pal, and through the fucking police officer who calls MY cell phone looking for him. (I hand the phone over to my pal...I would have if the cop asked nicely, even though the one who originally called (out of three that my pal talked to) was threatening and being a prick.) So...now two of my close friends are in jail, and facing two second degree felonies. They did something stupid...but their shit also falls in my lap as far as my emotional and therefore physical well being are concerned. This HAS NOT been my week. __________________ homo homini lupus

04-16-2006, 07:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
blitz Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Home Posts: 1,045 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Yeah lay off the drugs. And I wonder why your best friends would be drug dealers and robbers...? I'm not trying to critisize you but man your hanging out with the wrong people. __________________

04-16-2006, 09:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
kingoftheforest Premiere Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In the forest of course Posts: 1,385 Groans: 1 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Emotional Hey Garland I have watched your posts on here for awhile and I gotta say most of the time you seem like you've got more together than most people your age so the depression thing id kinda weird. Second the pills of the type you are taking can mess with your emotions over a period of time add stress and sleep depravation, which also cause emotional probs and you've got a damn nice psyco cocktail. All these factors mess with chemicals in your body such as tryptophan. Tryptophan is produced by your body to regulate moods. When you are hungry you get irritable because you have a low level of this. When you eat your body releases this endorphine and you get a very slight euphoric feeling. Stress and lack of sleep impede the body's ability to produce this. Second a this point in your life I am sure firends are very important to you. It's fine to feel worried for your friends but remember it's "YOUR" future you have to worry about so don't let yourself get screwed up because your friends aren't intelligent enough to stay out of trouble. Getting into trouble with or for your friends for some things is ok but snatching a purse is just damn stupid man especially when you know you're in possesion of illegal substances. That sounds like a Johnny Knoxville jackass stunt. You seem real intelligent dude don't screw it up man. __________________ The actions one takes are answered by consequences waiting at their conclusion. There are no exceptions. http://destructionscreation.deviantart.com/gallery/

04-17-2006, 09:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
osopardo Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Hurricane Alley Posts: 170,033 Posts: 1,920 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	That kinda hopeless despair is quite common among atheists. Useta feel like that all the time m'self, until I got born again. You really oughta try it, I mean it's not as if you were living a "Hef" lifestyle... __________________ Le Bear Extraordinaire! *Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!* Pushups Completed: 5 1/2 Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?

04-17-2006, 09:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
osopardo Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Hurricane Alley Posts: 170,033 Posts: 1,920 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	But seriously, tho... From your post it's obvious you're going through a time of great stress and the psyche reacts in different ways to cope with the pressure. You need to lay off any substances unless prescribed by a doctor and in the prescribed dosages, you need to get more rest and you need to dedicate time to some activity which can take your mind off the responsibilities you've put on yourself. I seen young guys like you try to do it all and get sick (physically, spiritually, mentally) and fail miserably indeed because they tried to do it all and do it all at once. Give yourself some down time. You should be enjoying the trip, not just looking towards the destination. __________________ Le Bear Extraordinaire! *Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!* Pushups Completed: 5 1/2 Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?

04-16-2006, 01:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
7r14ngL3Ch0k3 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,514 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Try to lift yourself out of your depression, yes depression. Do whatever MA you do and go out with anybody you can, epecially a girl! You should, get your priorities straight, stop abusing caffeine products, drink a few beers, smoke a few cigs, and bang a girl...then youll be happy. And ofcoarse, do your assignments, and dont worry about your jailed friends...after all nothing/nobody really matters. Ive had experiances where after a certain event i feel forever changed and affected in negative way, but you can rise up out of that!

04-17-2006, 09:30 PM	#15 (permalink)
treelizard Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the desert Posts: 3,442 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	What jubaji said, except I wouldn't recommend too much alcohol b/c it's a downer. __________________ http://www.dirttime.org http://morewomeninmma.blogspot.com

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