osopardo

A little boy is taken to a church he's never been to before. As he wanders around the reception lobby he becomes fascinated by all the photos of different people who are associated with the church in one way or another. There are photos of pastors, deacons, missionaries, volunteers, staff, etc.

As he stands looking at a photograph of a large group of soldiers, posing for the camera in their uniforms, the pastor comes and stands near him, looking for an opportunity to introduce himself.

The little boy notices him and asks; "Pastor, who are those guys?"

"Son, those are our boys who died in the service."

The little boy's eyes grow wide and he asks the pastor nervously; "The first service or the second service?"

__________________
Le Bear Extraordinaire!
Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!
Pushups Completed: 5 1/2
Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?

osopardo

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?!!!"

__________________
Le Bear Extraordinaire!
Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!
Pushups Completed: 5 1/2
Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?

pressureguy

lol!
Thank you for that.
I am going to pass that on to my church email list.

pressureguy

Hikage

Ok, there was a pastor who very much enjoyed golf. He woke one Sunday morning to a gorgeous day. He debated with himself over whether or not he could rationalize cancencling Sunday services, under the guise of illness, and spend the morning on the course. At length, he decided, "Why not?" So he set up a sign outside the church announcing the cancelation and off he went to the greens where he had without a doubt the best game of his life. He hit all his long puts, was under par on every hole, and even had a hole in one.

Back in heaven, one of the angels leaned over to God and asked, "What's going on? Surely this is a sin! All his followers will have no guidance today simply so he can go out there and wack a little ball around into a teeny cup. I mean no disrespect, but why are you rewarding him with the game of a lifetime? You gave him a hole-in-one on a 250 yard tee! I ask again, what's going on?"

God responded calmly and simply, "whom can he tell?"

-Hikage

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osopardo

Good one!

__________________
Le Bear Extraordinaire!
Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!
Pushups Completed: 5 1/2
Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?

osopardo

A priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding.

The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

The minister replies, "Just water."

The trooper asks, "Then, why do I smell wine?"

The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"

__________________
Le Bear Extraordinaire!
Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!!
Pushups Completed: 5 1/2
Situps Completed: Does using my hands count?