Originally Posted by Garland

Ok...here's a question; you're girlfriend or wife is going getting alot of phone calls lately, and sometimes you go to pick up the phone, and the person hangs up immediatly. You get suspicious and start looking through her cell-phone's recent calls and texts...is THAT stalking?

Or, say you've caught her lying about that through looking at the texts...and see that she has a lunch date with some guy that is sending her really familiar messages on her txts... do you confront her...do you hire a P.I., or do you try to go out on your own to see what's up? (there's a show on tv called cheaters where people do this...that seems more stalky than anything I've described)

Is is stalking if you have evidence of infidelity and want to verify it? I thought I was being paranoid at first, and it seemed my suspicions were actually right on target.

Shit sucks...in fact...I have to call the health department in a few minutes to see if they have my STD results back...because I was in what I thought was a monogomous relationship, I was having unprotected sex. If this went on longer without me knowing about it...I would've ran a higher chance of catching something. Don't you think I would be entitled to that information?

Originally Posted by Garland

It's just like the whole sex offender thing...the rules are so generalized that pissing in public (even if you think nobody is around) and getting caught can put you on the sex offender's list.

If what I did is considered stalking...the term is fucked up. Is there anyone who thinks what I was doing was wrong? Please speak up.

Originally Posted by Sagacious Lu

Garland, what you're talking about isn't stalking it's self-preservation. Like Harball said, if you've got to constantly check up on your GF than something is wrong with the relationship but that happens to pretty much everyone sooner or later. There's a big difference between being an obsessive stalker that's intruding on someone's life and protecting yourself from a coniving GF's lies.

Originally Posted by Tom Yum

Relationships do depend on trust, but you have to screen this out early on. Usually your gut instinct is right - maybe some dudes have better instinct than others, but usually its earned, right...lol.

I was set up on a date from a friend a few months ago. The gal was attractive and really intelligent. As we started talking and as I watched her, my gut instinct told me "she dates nice guys , makes 'em play the chase and then walks on 'em."

And if I didn't play to that game, it wasn't going to work out.

It didn't work out...lol.

Originally Posted by Hardball

I'm talking about hardcore physical stalking. Showing up at your job, showing up near your home, following you and starring you down.. Basically searching you out for fear. Stalkers enjoy the reactions they get from their victims. I'm talking about being stalked by a derranged person who may or may not be with his buddies. Some homicide victims were stalked prior to being victimized. What you descirbed is called "Cyber Stalking" Good question

Originally Posted by DickHardman

why do females do that? is it because they just want the attention?

Originally Posted by Tom Yum

Its just game playing for control, whether they are aware of it or not.

Here's what I've found from personal experience and many, many long conversations with dudes and dudettes.

The game playing slows down a bit in their late 20's/ early 30's, but it depends on the person...

In their late 30's/early 40's they act the way you wished they would've when you were 18!

Go for the Demi Moore!

Originally Posted by Garland

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

Originally Posted by Garland

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

Originally Posted by Garland

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

Originally Posted by DickHardman

he started training in muay thai after i recommended it to him when he said he was afraid he may get into a physical confrontation with the ex husband at some point lol....