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| Urban Street Combatives/R.B.M.A. Not specific to any one style of martial arts, this forum deals with tips, techniques and training for real world survival. Reality Based Martial Arts (R.B.M.A.) are discussed. |
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06-05-2007, 11:43 PM
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#16 (permalink) | |
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Location: Hurricane Alley Posts: 170,033
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Le Bear Extraordinaire! Mike Brewer's 2008 Athleticon Challenge!!! Pushups Completed: 5 1/2 Situps Completed: Does using my hands count? 
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06-07-2007, 12:22 PM
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#18 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: melbourne, aus
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christmas break 2 yrs ago.
at a friend's apartment, it was a small party. some dude named Ben, the guy was real cocky and drunk, he started fighting my best friend. the little brawl turned out to be a serious fight in the room, i thought i saw my best friend's head was clocked by a metal chair when he fell, blood sprayed (but really it was a wine bottle knocked over... i was pretty drunk myself) got on top of Ben and started pounding on him, after a few punched he gave up then i stopped. we kept arguing who did what and who hit who after i thought the whole thing was pretty stupid, so i apologized, and left the party voluntarily. the end. |
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06-08-2007, 04:37 AM
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#19 (permalink) |
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Location: Salt Lake City
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some old lady looked at me funny, so I totally kicked the beejeezus out of her ailing dog with her walker, consequently breaking her hip in the process...
after which I mugged a group of girl scouts passing by for all the money they were raising for orphans with cancer... and then I proceeded to stomp the shit out of a lemonade stand run by a mentally handicapped individual... I then defecated in a church parkinglot, sexually solicited a nun and a trail of alter boys who were following closely behind her and urinated on an american flag...all while singing a mix of deutschland uber alles and dixie land. I did this all dressed as the pope, but in blackface...and under the influence of as many illicit substances as I could muster, and with the aide of some underage prostitutes of both genders, who had earlier helped me sell cat turds covered in kitty litter as almond rocca door to door. I then tattoo'ed my body with razor blades and india ink various passages from the book of job from the bible, as well as verses from matthew, and dr. suess... and after a hard day's work, I treated myself to a glass of that lemonade and some of the samoa cookies I ripped off of those little trollips (!), and dreamed of the day I would be rich enough to open my own manatee farm, and the sweet, succulent taste of manatee burgers and dolphin fries with seal sauce, slurped down with the tears of incest survivors. the end. ...whew... that was pretty bad, eh?
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homo homini lupus 
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06-09-2007, 12:33 AM
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#20 (permalink) |
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Premiere Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Hello,
Garland, Your wasting your talents on this forum. That was some funny shit. Id pos rep you again but the computer wont let me. You crack me up. Pope in black face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You
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06-09-2007, 07:09 AM
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#22 (permalink) |
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Location: Canada
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Indeed ask him, is he taking on any understudies at this point?
I would love to be like garland one day but at this point I am only going to fishing school to become a master-baiter 
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My strength resolves in the mind, once I have made up my mind nothing is too far from me. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands in times of trial and controversy" Martin Luther King Jr. |
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06-09-2007, 01:36 PM
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#23 (permalink) | |
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Location: Middle Georgia
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Si vis pacem, para bellum. |
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06-09-2007, 02:18 PM
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#24 (permalink) |
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Location: the desert
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Yes, that was hilarious.
A friend of mine got egged yesterday as we were walking from a bookstore to a cafe. One egg and one water balloon in such a short period of time--makes me want to drive *everywhere.* |
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06-09-2007, 06:28 PM
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#25 (permalink) | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Here and there.
Posts: 11,307
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Groaned at 4 Times in 4 Posts
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Quote:
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Love it, leave it or fix it. |
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06-09-2007, 09:54 PM
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#26 (permalink) | |
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Humble Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Northern Ca. USA
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Quote:
I knew a cripled guy years ago that was hit by a beer bottle. That cripled him... One of my long time friends was mock assaulted by a punk with an Airsoft pistol. He "killed" her and walked away muttering laughter... Yeah, sick world, eh?
__________________
"In all countries where personal freedom is valued, however much each individual may rely on legal redress, the right of each to carry arms - and these the best and the sharpest - for his own protection in case of extremity, is a right of nature indelible and irrepressible, and the more it is sought to be repressed the more it will recur." James Paterson |
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06-09-2007, 11:56 PM
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#27 (permalink) |
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I had a kid whip an egg at my 67 mustang. I got out chased him down, calmly dragged him back to my car and made him remove his shirt and wipe it off. Trust me it took a lot of self control not to kick his punk ass.
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06-10-2007, 01:26 AM
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#28 (permalink) | |
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Location: Salt Lake City
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Quote:
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homo homini lupus
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06-10-2007, 12:37 PM
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#30 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Here and there.
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True stories?
K, so I met this chick online in 2001. The end.
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Love it, leave it or fix it. Last edited by Tom Yum; 06-25-2007 at 09:49 AM. |
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