Womens Opinions Sought

[Hardball]

Hi, I am a Black Belt in Japanese Jujitsu. I recently started a business giving private lessons and seminars. The private lessons are in my Back Yard and Basement. The seminars are whereever, usually on the road.

If I were your husband, would you object to me training female clients for cash? What about one on one?

My wife recently objected and the only compromise I could get out of her was this: The female client must attend class with my male client--in otherwords, a co-ed class. I o.k. with this but I hope my male client is. The female client is o.k. with it also.

Could I have handled this another way? Ladies, what are your opinions?

Thank you in advance for your intellectual contributions.

[Tant01]

Originally Posted by Hardball

Hi, I am a Black Belt in Japanese Jujitsu. I recently started a business giving private lessons and seminars. The private lessons are in my Back Yard and Basement. The seminars are whereever, usually on the road.

If I were your husband, would you object to me training female clients for cash? What about one on one?

My wife recently objected and the only compromise I could get out of her was this: The female client must attend class with my male client--in otherwords, a co-ed class. I o.k. with this but I hope my male client is. The female client is o.k. with it also.

Could I have handled this another way? Ladies, what are your opinions?

Thank you in advance for your intellectual contributions.

I don't meet your gender criteria but wanted to offer this:
Private lessons are just that. Private. If your wife doesn't trust you you're in the wrong line of work. On the OTHER HAND if a female student were to come back in ten years with a psychologist and a lawyer claiming that YOU were the man that molested her under the guise of Jujutsu it would be good to have a witness that was there too. Even if it's just a video camera.

The question is not without reason but the reasoning might be questionable?

[Hardball]

Originally Posted by Tant01

I don't meet your gender criteria but wanted to offer this:
Private lessons are just that. Private. If your wife doesn't trust you you're in the wrong line of work. On the OTHER HAND if a female student were to come back in ten years with a psychologist and a lawyer claiming that YOU were the man that molested her under the guise of Jujutsu it would be good to have a witness that was there too. Even if it's just a video camera.

The question is not without reason but the reasoning might be questionable?

Great answer; I'm going to ponder on this one.

[BoarSpear]

I have to agree with tanto... Always video...and if your wife doesnt trust you to teach without an extra person present...thats the real issue...i went thru just that problem with my first wife...turns out since she knew she couldnt be trusted, i probably couldnt either in her mind. i often had classes interuppted even coed ones by her jealous fits...i love the art more than her etc...im not saying you are looking at the same problem but the story sounds familiar...

[Hardball]

Originally Posted by BoarSpear

I have to agree with tanto... Always video...and if your wife doesnt trust you to teach without an extra person present...thats the real issue...i went thru just that problem with my first wife...turns out since she knew she couldnt be trusted, i probably couldnt either in her mind. i often had classes interuppted even coed ones by her jealous fits...i love the art more than her etc...im not saying you are looking at the same problem but the story sounds familiar...

You guys are great and full of wisdom...............I take this as a parable, and I got the message.

[EmptyneSs]

i think u should talk to your wife and try and see why she doesnt trust u.

[Ahsen]

heres something
It may not be a solution to this thread and could be completly irrelivant to this topic, but looking in the other way round if any you guys want to learn jujitsu how about marring a female sensai whos 3rd Dan. That way she has more confideint teaching you.


I wonder if any boys who don't do martail arts or just started, find it a problem if they marring someone who are higher belt then them (ie girls who been doing more than one form or art for many years )

vice versa

girls who have experince with martail arts ( 5 years or more, in other words who are pretty good at there sport) would go after boys with no background in martial arts at all

cus I see a trend in couples that its always the men who are higher belts then therir female counter parts - never the other way round.
If so tell some.

[Tom Yum]

Originally Posted by Ahsen

heres something
It may not be a solution to this thread and could be completly irrelivant to this topic, but looking in the other way round if any you guys want to learn jujitsu how about marring a female sensai whos 3rd Dan. That way she has more confideint teaching you.


I wonder if any boys who don't do martail arts or just started, find it a problem if they marring someone who are higher belt then them (ie girls who been doing more than one form or art for many years )

vice versa

girls who have experince with martail arts ( 5 years or more, in other words who are pretty good at there sport) would go after boys with no background in martial arts at all

cus I see a trend in couples that its always the men who are higher belts then therir female counter parts - never the other way round.
If so tell some.

Very interesting topic!

I dated a girl who held black belts in karate and tae kwon do. Had no problems with this, because the kind of woman who will show up to the dojo and get to work is the kind of woman who has persistance, dedication, patience, an open mind, can manage her stress well and is probably in pretty good shape!!

Nothing is more attractive than a patient woman with a sound mind.

[Ahsen]

v.True plus she'll have an athelical body

no serioulsy

I would marry someone who knws matrail arts simply if i'm not there to protect my kids then who is.

Girls do like the idea that you can protect your other half or do you really prefer your man protecting you ?

What do you think Cake Girl ?

[Tom Yum]

Originally Posted by Ahsen

v.True plus she'll have an athelical body

Agreed!

The connection with that athletic body is self-discipline.

[Shard]

Its good you came to compromise. But i feel the 2 of you should talk it through and find ou the real reasons behind her objection? Was it safety? To prevent lawsuits like Tanto said. Or is it something to do with her insecurity?

Woo hoo! Althletic Babes! Can anyone Anna Kornikova?

Sure beats a sagging hag.

Why wouldn't i marry a blackbelt? She could teach me stuff and then we could spar on the bed and then..... there are kids on the forums, huh?

[Hardball]

Originally Posted by Shard

Its good you came to compromise. But i feel the 2 of you should talk it through and find ou the real reasons behind her objection? Was it safety? To prevent lawsuits like Tanto said. Or is it something to do with her insecurity?

Woo hoo! Althletic Babes! Can anyone Anna Kornikova?

Sure beats a sagging hag.

Why wouldn't i marry a blackbelt? She could teach me stuff and then we could spar on the bed and then..... there are kids on the forums, huh?

I'm reborn and in a mid life crisis...........I am 48 with the bod of a 28 year old, cut and buff. She is un athletic, aging fast and overweight. I love her but she has absolutely no interest in my martial arts as a participant. Yea, i guess she is insecure, thinking I may hit on some pretty young thang..............................And to be honest, maybe I would, that is before I read the above. LOL

[Tom Yum]

Originally Posted by Hardball

I'm reborn and in a mid life crisis...........I am 48 with the bod of a 28 year old, cut and buff. She is un athletic, aging fast and overweight. I love her but she has absolutely no interest in my martial arts as a participant. Yea, i guess she is insecure, thinking I may hit on some pretty young thang..............................And to be honest, maybe I would, that is before I read the above. LOL

Ok, hardball just promise you won't hit on any women under 21.... . Otherwise we young guys will have no younger women to go out with.

PS - after 25, lots a ladies let themselves go. I know its not your regular peer group, but I'm just keeping you abreast...

[Hardball]

Originally Posted by Tom Yum

Ok, hardball just promise you won't hit on any women under 21.... . Otherwise we young guys will have no younger women to go out with.

PS - after 25, lots a ladies let themselves go. I know its not your regular peer group, but I'm just keeping you abreast...

Ha Ha Ha, My wife didn't let herself go until around age 40. I still love her though, lots of good memories. You gotta admit, these young female martial artist are real eye catchers.

[Tom Yum]

Originally Posted by Hardball

Ha Ha Ha, My wife didn't let herself go until around age 40. I still love her though, lots of good memories. You gotta admit, these young female martial artist are real eye catchers.

Yep, but it stops with the eye candy.

Personality is equally important.

Give me a decade and a half, then I'll probably sound just like you...LOL.