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  • treelizard
    replied
    Thanks HighKick... Well after reading about Hardball's classmate, I'm feeling extremely thankful.

    And of course there's the many many guys I've trained with who were totally cool and who I'd trust with my life, who I didn't write about at all.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Sagacious Lu
    I understand where you're coming from, but honestly I think that's something that you just have to get over. It really shouldn't be an issue if you're both there to work on the material. I've def. felt the awkwardness you're talking about when working with women in my class, especially while practicing chin na, but it's never been a real issue for me because I'm there for one reason only; to train. I've seen people that haven't been able to get past it but in the end the fact that they couldn't over come the hang up was the result of insecurity on their part rather than because of impropriety.


    *Edit* I just saw the post you made while writing this; it def. depends on the individual.

    I agree mostly with you Lu, it does depend on the individual. It seems like treelizard has gone through a lot of training partners. They can't all be bad, and, didn't Goldilocks run away crying at the end of the classic fairy tale! Was that supposed to be a compliment when treelizard was dubbed Goldilocks?

    Treelizard, show them how to do it, don't keep running. That's part of the challenge before you.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Sagacious Lu
    I understand where you're coming from, but honestly I think that's something that you just have to get over. It really shouldn't be an issue if you're both there to work on the material. I've def. felt the awkwardness you're talking about when working with women in my class, especially while practicing chin na, but it's never been a real issue for me because I'm there for one reason only; to train. I've seen people that haven't been able to get past it but in the end the fact that they couldn't over come the hang up was the result of insecurity on their part rather than because of impropriety.


    *Edit* I just saw the post you made while writing this; it def. depends on the individual.

    I agree mostly with you Lu, it does depend on the individual. It seems like treelizard has gone through a lot of training partners. They can't all be bad, and, didn't Goldilocks run away crying at the end of the classic fairy tale!

    Treelizard, show them how to do it, don't keep running. That's part of the challenge before you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ::: GODDESS :::
    replied
    I train with my instructor or one of his top students only. Other people hurt you on accident or accidentally on purpose. I've rarely trained with any girls in any martial art - I guess I'm just one of the guys too. I blend.

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  • cam427
    replied
    Originally posted by cakegirl
    I train in Australia and I'm a blue belt.
    Cakegirl,

    I am an australian but I have been living in Ireland for the last 5 years. I only started BJJ over here so I am wondering what the standard is like over there and if there are many clubs.

    Cam

    Leave a comment:


  • treelizard
    replied
    For clarification, these are guys I used to train with not that I currently train with. And I agree that sometimes women won't go as hard as the guys, which is disappointing (esp. for the guys). While I've been privvy to guys (in karate) not aiming for my face during a technique (so there's no point in doing the block we were supposed to be practicing) I've seen women do this a lot too and sometimes do it myself, forgetting to aim for the face, etc. Some of the problems that come up are based on gender, but a lot of them are probably just based on personalities, training styles, etc. There's always problems, just different kinds I guess... I can understand a guy not wanting to be one-upped or lose to a girl. A good friend of mine was a high school wrestler and was telling me about when he had to wrestle a girl and was so worried about hurting her or about losing. (He won easily, btw.)

    Interesting essay about striving for self-improvement in karate here: http://www.24fightingchickens.com/ I like the idea that one can practice self-improvement in how they interact with all the characters they train with.

    Leave a comment:


  • Miss Teak
    replied
    We have a handful of girls, they wander in and out, but nobody reallys seems to stick around for long or come very regularly.

    Generally my mindset is; training is a genderless thing. While you're on the mat, you're not male or female, you're just a student. You're there to learn, same as everyone else.

    However, through the years I've found the lack of other females to train with has made me very, very, very uncomfortable when I do train or compete with girls (especially competing with them). It just feels weird and intimidating, and quite a few of them don't seem to want to train as hard as the guys.

    In the end, regardless of how I'd like to think I look at things (noble and fair minded and all that ). I've come to kinda view myself as just another 'one of the boys' even though I'm not.

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  • SweepEm
    replied
    Tree Lizard:

    sorry to hear you're training with guys that have overblown male egos.

    At our school, there are several females that train and there are still guys that don't like to be dominated by a woman but our instructor's wife is a brown belt and she can dominate and hang with just about any guy in our school. Since she's a brown, she goes with guys so they can give her a challenge.

    But you always have guys that don't want to be "embarassed" when sparring with a girl.

    I'm usually the designated guy for many of the women since I'm not very strong and not a muscle head.

    A few weeks ago, Penny Thomas stopped by our place. She was in town, competing at the BJJ Pan Ams and won her weight division and the open division too. Very good purple belt. I was sparring her and made it a point not to use any weight or strength. She got me good twice by sweeping me.
    Not a big deal to me, same thing I would think if another team mate swept me, I said good job....

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I kind of agree. There are always problems with co-ed training, I've had them too.

    Originally posted by treelizard
    I didn't necessarily mean that kind of weirdness. And it really depends on the situation, what art you're training in, whether there's men or women in your class, whether you feel the need to go full force or are just trying to learn the techniques, etc. I've just found that the problems that have repeatedly come up when I train with men on my own just don't come up for me when I train with women. That isn't to say that it comes up with ALL men or that it could NEVER come up with a woman. Etc etc etc.

    I think the bigger problem is mixing teachers and sexes (male vs. female). I have a little TKD and a good amount of Thai Kickboxing. I've had a few problems because of the way I look. I'm not imposing, just the opposite. People just have to understand that there are differences in everyone, and who really cares, it's all about learning.

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  • treelizard
    replied
    The last dude I trained with I think just felt so uncomfortable training around women that he would use way more force than was necessary when we were just doing releases and other drills for the first time. Like it made him more of a man to really hurt me when I was just trying to get the technique down. Save it for when you've got the drills down, not when you're trying to learn them...

    Dude before him would never use any force at all because he was so worried about hurting me, and I never got to really train hard like I need to. Like THAT'LL help me on the street...

    The dude before him was constantly making jokes about strippers, and other unnecessary commentary (even when asked to stop--ESP when asked to stop) and whenever I got a technique down quicker than he did, he'd get unbent. Our instructor had to show him everything first. Talk about ego.

    OTOH my grappling teacher was a dude and there was never weirdness and it was always strictly about the material. We were friends for two years before we ever rolled. And at the Fightback three out of the four instructors were guys. There were some ground techniques I wanted to try with a woman first and then move onto a guy but all of the men there were amazingly helpful, supportive, used more force when asked, and there was never weirdness. It really depends.

    But of all the women I've trained with, I've never had problems with them trying to hurt me for kicks when I was still trying to learn a drill, refusing to hit me because they were scared of hurting me, making inappropriate jokes or comments, or freaking out if I was better at ONE out of five zillion techniques.

    Anyways, I'm just explaining my reasoning, since somebody asked. I would rather have a female training partner, so long as there are guys to train those same techniques on in a larger class, especially if the guys will go hard when practicing drills we already know, not go too hard when we're just trying to learn them instead of killing each other, focus on the material and keep the Playboy jokes to a minimum. Anyway, this is just one woman's opinion, I'm sure if you ask ten women you'll get ten different answers. Or maybe even 15.

    P.S. My old grappling teacher (who moved away) calls me the Goldilocks of martial arts.

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  • LoneHusky
    replied
    It's weird for me to roll with guys. Alot of guys I train with seem gay and wear only their underwear. It's difficult but I know I'm a better fighter by doing it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sagacious Lu
    replied
    Originally posted by treelizard
    My last grappling teacher was a dude and I trust him with my life, but usually when I train with guys, there's weirdness. You have to weigh that... how weird is this vs. how much am I getting out of it.
    I understand where you're coming from, but honestly I think that's something that you just have to get over. It really shouldn't be an issue if you're both there to work on the material. I've def. felt the awkwardness you're talking about when working with women in my class, especially while practicing chin na, but it's never been a real issue for me because I'm there for one reason only; to train. I've seen people that haven't been able to get past it but in the end the fact that they couldn't over come the hang up was the result of insecurity on their part rather than because of impropriety.


    *Edit* I just saw the post you made while writing this; it def. depends on the individual.

    Leave a comment:


  • treelizard
    replied
    I didn't necessarily mean that kind of weirdness. And it really depends on the situation, what art you're training in, whether there's men or women in your class, whether you feel the need to go full force or are just trying to learn the techniques, etc. I've just found that the problems that have repeatedly come up when I train with men on my own just don't come up for me when I train with women. That isn't to say that it comes up with ALL men or that it could NEVER come up with a woman. Etc etc etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bjjexpertise@be
    replied
    Sex is usually the last thing on a guy's mind when he's rolling around so I don't think that would be a problem. If something does pop up I guess you can always kick him?

    Leave a comment:


  • Tom Yum
    replied
    Originally posted by treelizard
    My last grappling teacher was a dude and I trust him with my life, but usually when I train with guys, there's weirdness. You have to weigh that... how weird is this vs. how much am I getting out of it.
    I've known a few women who have grappled quite a bit with the guys and the guys (and girl) were quite professional and helpfull to each other.

    When you grapple with a woman, you are their to train. period. you shouldn't be thinking about how akward it is to be mounting etc. rather this is how I would protect myself if I was pulled into a struggle.

    Leave a comment:

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