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lawyer also thinks BM is full of BS

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  • lawyer also thinks BM is full of BS

    So I spoke to the lawyer this week, I always feel so trashy when trying to describe all the in's and outs of the drama that is step life, but I'm sure he hears it all the time. He said that his experience and gut is telling him that there is no cps case and BM is making stuff up to influence where SD spends winter vaccation. He can't check if there is a case because he is out of state, but suggested my husband get his attorney on the west coast to check. He feels the biggest risk here is the break down of my husband's relationship with his daughter if visits cease. He said the risk to me is extreamly limited and that cps aren't interested in "normal family stuff" like arguments in the past or using time out when she was younger etc. He said that if there was a case against me that I would be contacted first before interviews with other people (ie BM) and as I've heard nothing that he feels it is very unlikely anything is happening. He said there had to be evidence of something serious for a safety plan to be put in place for my kids and that what I described to him does not get anywhere near that. Our discussion only lasted 30 mins so he suggested that we have another 30 min chat this comming week with my husband involved too. So we've got that scheduled in our calender. So I know that you are all rightly super protective of us step parents but I do agree with the lawyer that maintaining the relationship with SD is really important and the risk to me is negligable. I told my husband to talk to sd and try to get some sort of visit set up for this christmans even if it is just a week rather than two. He seems to think that waiting until summer for the visit and having family therapy set up to do over the summer would be a better idea. I agree that family therapy would be a good idea, but I also think that waiting until the summer is too long. Especially when sd suffers from extreme anxiety and the longer time period until her next visit will just increase any anxiety that she has about coming here. BM will also have learnt that she can lie and put up the slightest bit of resistance and my husband will cave. So I predict that is sd doesn't come for christmas that she won't come for any more visits. Anyway, I pushed him and told him that he needs to actually TALK to his daughter, and TALK to her regularly. That occational texts aren't enough. He has set up to call her this weekend. Hopefully he can find out what is really behind her not wanting to visit. So we will see what comes of his chat with her and what the lawyer has to say to the two of us. As usual with step life everything is so last minute and still up in the air.