Women's and Men's Self Defense Success Stories

[Erica]

I was hoping that everyone could tell their (or someone they know) self defense success stories. There is so much to learn about success stories. I am going to start with one from a book called - BACK OFF! It is a must read for anyone who teaches or is taking self defense.

Thanks!
Erica

[Erica]

A SUCCESS STORY:

In "Back Off" A BOOK by Martha Langelan-

"THE CAMPUS TOUR-

THIS IS A STORY OF HOW I FOUGHT BACK SUCCESSFULLY AGAINST A RAPIST.

IT WAS 1970 AND I WAS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN, CELEBRATING MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY BY VISITING A NUMBER OF BARS IN THE GREENWICH VILLAGE SECTION OF NEW YORK CITY WITH SOME CLASSMATES. AT ONE POINT IN THE EVENING WE DROPPED IN AT THE STUDENT CENTER AT NEW YORK UNIVERSITY (NYU) FOR A BITE TO EAT.

WHILE THERE, WE MET A PLEASANT-SEEMING GUY NAMED BOB. HE LATCHED ON TO OUR GROUP AND WENT TO ONE OR TWO BARS WITH US. HE APPEARED OK, AND WE TOLD HIM HE OUGHT TO VISIST OUR BARND-NEW COLLEGE CAMPUS IN NEW JERSEY. I CASUALLY OFFERED TO BE A TOUR GUIDE AND GAVE HIM MY DORM ADDRESS, AND THEN I WENT HOME WITH MY FRIENDS.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE A FEW NIGHTS LATER WHEN HE SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR WITH A SLEAZY-LOOKING FRIEND, ASKING FOR HIS TOUR OF THE CAMPUS. UNLIKE MY FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH BOB IN NEW YORK, THIS TIME SOMETHING DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT ABOUT THEIR BEHAVIOR, SO I TRIED TO GET MY ROOMMATE OR SOMEBODY ELSE TO JOIN US. NOBODY WANTED TO, SO I NERVOUSLY BEGAN TAKING THE TWO MEN AROUND THE WELL-POPULATED AREAS OF THE CAMPUS- THE STUDENT CENTER, THE DINING HALL, THE LIBRARY.

I GOT MORE AND MORE UNCOMFORTABLE. BOB STARTED COMING ON TO ME AND THE SLEAZY SIDEKICK VANISHED. I TRIED TO TELL BOB I WAS TIRED AND I STARTED TO HEAD BACK TO MY DORM, BUT HE DIDN'T TAKE THE HINT. I COULDN'T GET RID OF HIM. WHEN I FINALLY GOT BACK TO MY DORM, HE PULLED ME INTO THE CLEANING CLOSET ACROSS FROM MY DORM ROOM, BEGAN REMOVING MY CLOTHES, AND UNZIPPED HIMSELF.

I WAS A VIRGIN AND TERRIFIED. I REMEMBERED MY MOTHER'S ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO FIGHT OFF MEN. MAMA WAS A EUROPEAN IMMIGRANTWHO HAD LIVED SEVERAL YEARS IN A DISPLACED PERSONS CAMP AFTER WORLD WAR II.

SHE DIDN'T TELL ME MUCH IN THE WAY OF SEX EDUCATION, BUT SHE DID TEACH ME TWO THINGS: WATCH OUT FOR GUYS WHO TRY TO GET YOU DRUNK, AND, IN A RAPE SITUATION, KICK OR KNEE THE ATTACKER IN THE GROIN.

AS BOB STARTED RUBBING AGAINST ME, I KNEED HIM HARD IN THE GROIN, OPENED THE CLOSET DOOR, AND HOPPED ACROSS THE HALL TO MY DORM ROOM, SCREAMING FOR HELP. LUCKILY MY ROOMMATE WAS THERE. SHE OPENED THE DOOR, I SCRAMBLED IN, AND WE SLAMMED AND LOCKED THE DOOR. BOB BEGAN POUNDING AND PUSHING ON THE DOOR. WE SHOVED A DRESSER IN FRONT OF THE DOOR AND ANOTHER IN FRONT OF THE WINDOWS AND SHOUTED AT HIM TO GO AWAY OR WE WOULD CALL THE POLICE.

AT THAT POINT HE BEGAN BEGGING US NOT TO REPORT HIM. A SHORT TIME LATER, HE LEFT. I NEVER SAW OR HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.

I NEVER NOTIFIED THE POLICE BECAUSE I FELT SO STUPID AND ASHAMED OF MYSELF FOR LETTING THE SITUATION DEVELOP. THIS WAS BACK IN THE HIPPIE ERA WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TREAT OUR FELLOW HIPPIES WITH LOVE AND PEACE. (BOB APPARENTLY FELT NO OBLIGATION TO TREAT ME THAT WAY!) I WAS AFRAID- PROBABLY RIGHTLY- THAT THE POLICE WOULD BERATE ME FOR STUPIDITY AND ACCUSE ME OF INSTIGATING IT. BACK IN THOSE DAYS, PEOPLE WERE EVEN MORE UNENLIGHTENED ABOUT RAPE THAN THEY ARE TODAY AND IT WAS COMMON FOR A WOMAN TO BE BLAMED FOR RAPE. AND AS A HIPPIE TYPE, I DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE IN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM.

ODDLY ENOUGH, THE STORY DOESN'T END THERE. YEARS LATER I SPOKE ABOUT IT TO A CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHO HAD BREIFLY ATTENDED NYU. WHEN I DESCRIBED BOB, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD MET HIM AND HAD A SIMILAR NARROW ESCAPE. HE HAD LURED HER TO HIS APARTMENT NEAR NYU ON SOME PRETEXT. SHE MANAGED TO GET THE DOOR OPEN AND FLEE. LIKE ME, SHE HAD FELT LIKE SUCH A FOOL THAT SHE NEVER REPORTED IT TO THE POLICE. NEITHER OF US KNOWS IF BOB WAS EVER ARRESTED OR PROSECUTED.

I REALIZE NOW THAT I WAS EXTREMELY FORTUNATE THAT MY ROOMMATE WAS ON HAND TO HELP ME ESCAPE THE ATTACK. IT WAS YEARS LATER BEFORE I COULD EVEN TALK ABOUT THE ASSAULT, AND UNTIL RECENTLY I FELT VERY BAD ABOUT IT.

BUT WHEN I READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT CONFRONTING HARASSERS, IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT THE ENTIRE INCIDENT IN A NEW WAY.
SUDDENLY I DID NOT FEEL SO DUMB. I HAD BEEN AN INEXPERIENCED EIGHTEEN-YEAR-OLD; HE WAS A SEXUAL CON ARTIST. I HAD SENSED SOMETHING WRONG, TRIED TO PROTECT MYSELF BY SEEKING HELP FROM OTHERS, AND FINALLY FOUGHT BACK PHYSICALLY AND WON. SINCE I HAVE NEVER BEEN MUCH OF AN ATHLETE OR A FIGHTER, I FEEL PROUD THAT I THOUGHT QUICKLY, HURT MY ATTACKER, AND ESCAPED UNINJURED.

I'M NOW THE MOTHER OF TWO DAUGHTERS. IN THINKING BACK ON ALL THIS, I CAN SEE HOW VULNERABLE TEENAGE GIRLS CAN BE, AND I HOPE THAT CONFRONTATION TACTICS AND WOMEN'S SUCCESS STORIES BECOME REQUIRED READING IN EVERY JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL ACROSS THE UNITED STATES. "

-BARBARA



BACK OFF!
Author: Martha J. Langelan
Foreword by: Catharine A. MacKinnon
Binding: Paperback, 384 pages
Publisher: Simon and Schuster Trade Paperbacks
Published Date: 07/01/1993
List: USD $12.00
ISBN: 0671788566


Publisher's Review:

Back Off! is filled with real-life success stories from women who have stopped harassers cold: Sharon, who succeeded in stopping a whole crew of habitual harassers in a city park...; Stephanie, a ten-year-old who confronted and escaped a child molester...; Catharine and Molly, who stood up to their landlord and stopped him from harassing the tenants...; and dozens more. From an eight-year-old who successfully challenged two young harassers on the playground to an organized group of fifty women who confronted a dockworker in response to an attempted rape on the job, here's what they did, how they did it - and how you can do it, too. Back Off! is the first book to focus on the direct-action tactics that work and the first to deal with harassment everywhere it takes place, in both blue-collar and white-collar jobs, at school, on the street, on the bus or subway, in the park, even in church. Back Off! examines the dynamics of sex and power in sexual harassment, the motives behind harassers' actions, and why traditional responses such as appeasement or aggression don't work, and describes the successful resistance strategies that you really can use - including nonviolent personal confrontation techniques, group confrontations, administrative remedies, and formal lawsuits.

[Erica]

From - Black Belt Women 1975

"After being followed for four blocks by a man, Lloyda French, a karate student, wheeled around and threatened to strangle him with her scarf. He fled in terror." - Black Belt Women, 1975

[Erica]

Under Cover Police Officer

This is from a Police Officer undercover from another self defense chat.


I've had two full blown car combats, both when I was buying crack in housing projects. On the first I was able to floor it while holding the bad guy and just kind of "accelerate" him off the car. The second was a Lorcin .380 put to my head during the buy itself. I felt like that he was going to shoot me and went for it. Slap/grabbed the gun and had it discharge from my left ear about 4 inches resulting in some permanent hearing loss. Got lucky and pulled off a real shitty strip that you would never see in any school and he hauled ass. He was ID'd from the video and the topside narcs I was on loan to cut a warrant for him. He's currently doing 25 years in Parchman, MS.

I don't consider these full blown incidents, but I've been sucker punched on one occasion, again the bad guy running off, and had a round fired at me on another, when I was attentive enough to catch him digging out the gun, and hauled ass.

Vehicle stuff sucks and is a difficult problem. Far better to be preventive.

If you think about it we probably spend fifty percent of our life around vehicles, yet how often to we train in or around them, with guns, knives or empty hands?

Good info. Ya'll keep it coming!

[Fighter]

This is great I'll but I've never been in a situation thhat I think would qualify for this forum (im only 15). But I love reading the and I cant weight to hear more.

[Erica]

From - Perpetrate My Fist

Marie was awakened one night to the sound of scratching. Thinking it was her cat, she tried to ignore the noise, but the scratching continued. Marie got up to see what all the commotion was. She entered her living room to find a man struggling to get into her window -- he was stuck at the waist. The scratching was the sound of the window sticking. Freezing in fear, she stopped and let out a scream. The man had a knife, and, jabbing at her, told her to shut up. Marie grabbed a potted plant by the window and smashed it on the man's head. She became a madwoman, grabbing everything in sight and hitting him with it. Despite her yelling, no one came to help her. Eventually the man freed himself from the window and ran away, with Marie screaming after him, "You mother****er, don't you ever come to my place again!!"

This is a true story. Violence against women is an everyday reality. Its possibility casts a shadow over many women's movements in public and their safety in private. Violence against women is a systemic problem -- its perpetration goes hand in hand with patriarchal, classist and racist structures of power. The structures of society -- including family structure, sexual relations, and the valuation of men's and women's labor -- help reproduce sexual violence as an everyday threat, and an everyday possibility. This possibility of assault terrorizes women, to the point where many feel unable to walk alone at night, ride a bus alone, or even to wear certain clothing. One answer to this threat is women's self-defense.

Some men tell us we must be patient and persuasive; that we must be womanly. My friends, what is a man's idea of womanliness? Is it to have a manner which pleases him -- quiet, deferential, submissive, approaching him as a subject does a master. He wants no self-assertion on our part, no defiance, no vehement arraignment of him as a robber and a criminal ... while every right achieved by the oppressed has been wrung from tyrants by force; while the darkest page on human history is the outrages on women -- shall men tell us to be patient, persuasive, womanly?
-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1870.

Fighter- That is cool you are reading The Gift of Fear!!! I am glad you like it!!! erica

[Erica]

Kid Power Program

Here are some self defense success stories from a program called Kid Power - erica

We have A LOT of success stories from students telling us how the few hours of practice they got in our training has helped them be successful in dealing with difficult or dangerous situations. The following comments are typical.


From a mother
My daughter, who is now 12, took the KidPower workshop three years ago. "Recently, we moved to a smaller town to get away from the violence in the city. My daughter was very excited about going to her first formal dress-up dance at her new school. It must have been poorly supervised because a group of about 15 9th grade boys started playing a game where they captured girls by linking arms in a circle around them.

The first time my daughter and her 7th grade friends were surrounded, they just moved away. They felt awkward about this "game", but this was their first time at a school dance and they didn’t know what to think. My daughter saw that three other girls who got captured later were disheveled and crying. She saw the boys pawing at the girls and making sexual remarks.

Then she and her friends were surrounded again. This time, one boy grabbed our daughter from behind and tried to put his hand up her shirt. She stomped on his foot and elbowed him in the groin.

This action broke the circle and my daughter and her friends were able to escape. It also stopped the behavior of the boys and they left all the girls alone for the rest of the dance. The story went through the school that my gentle 7th grade daughter had beaten up a 9th grade boy! She was a hero! A number of girls have come up to her to tell her how glad they were that she did what she did and to ask her for advice on what they might do.

My husband and I have written a letter to the school describing the incident and demanding that preventative action be taken through better supervision of school events and training for both the boys and the girls. We believe that our daughter’s KIDPOWER training, even after three years, helped her handle an awful experience in a way which left her feeling empowered instead of helpless."

From the mother of a three-year-old
"When my little girl ran ahead of me at the store, a strange man, as a very bad joke, grabbed her arm and said, ‘You are so cute. I’ll take you away and you’ll never see your mother or father again. Instead of freezing or bursting into tears, she did just what we’d practiced in your Parent-Child workshop. She made a stop sign with her hand and yelled,’NO!’ This startled him, and brought me running. Instead of being terrified, she was proud of herself."


From the father of a teenager
"The TeenPower class taught my son how to be persistent in getting help rather than getting into a fight. An older boy started robbing his friend at a park, and he insisted that the very reluctant adult recreation worker get involved, which ended the attack."


From a woman who suddenly lost her sight two years ago
"Taking the FullPower class gave me back my belief in my own power. This is the first time since I went blind that I feel really good."


From an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse
"The FullPower evening sparked a domino effect of subtle but powerful validation inside myself that it is okay to say, ‘No!" and okay to protect myself."


From the father of an eight-year-old girl who took our KIDPOWER Family Workshop
"I was startled to hear that my small, quiet, normally shy daughter took charge when a game at her summer camp got out of hand. Some other kids were jumping on a counselor to the point of injuring her seriously. My daughter yelled at them until they stopped and then ran to fetch another counselor to help. When I asked her how come she knew how to do all this, she said, ‘I learned it in KidPower!’"


From the family and friends of Polly Klass, the twelve-year-old girl who was kidnapped from a slumber party in Petaluma
"This award is to thank KidPower for the work you do in helping children be safer and for teaching Kate and Gillian (the two girls who were with Polly when she was taken) in a way that validated the choices they made and that gave them more choices and confidence for the future." (Normally we do not identify our students, but this was a public award.)


From the father of a ten-year-old girl who was assaulted in her bedroom while her parents slept across the hall
"Your class is the best thing that happened to my daughter since her assault. She says, ‘KidPower taught me I can be the boss of my own body.""


From the mother of a young teenager
"After taking the TeenPower class, my son went from being terrified about starting high school to feeling excited."

From a nine year old girl who lives in the inner city
"A bully on the playground grabbed my hair and pulled me backwards. I stopped him with just one move. The yard duty teacher complemented me on how I took care of myself without being a bully too.She said she wished she knew how to do that."

From an adult survivor of childhood incest
"The FullPower Intensive Women’s Training changed my life. I think about what I learned with you every single day. I gained the confidence to do so many things that I was too afraid to do before."

From a business woman
" I feel much safer going to the parking lot at night after I’ve had to work late. FullPower has added so much to my peace of mind."

[Erica]

Success With Handguns

Arming Women Against Rape & Endangerment

http://www.aware.org/

His Word Against Mine



Her voice has the soft drawl and cadence of one who has not just lived in the South for a while, but was born there. Yet she speaks with the confidence of a professional woman who knows her own mind, and who has the kind of personal inner core of strength that inspired the title of the movie about Southern women, "Steel Magnolias".

Dr. Sandra K. Brooks is a pathologist in Johnson City, Tennessee. She was raised in the South, went to school there, and built her medical practice there. Back in the early '80's, she was 25 years old, and she and her husband were in the very exciting midst of moving into a new condominium.

While he was away, Sandra had the happy and busy task of getting organized, cleaning, unpacking, and overseeing the various workmen who were hired to get the condo just the way she wanted it.

Security was important to Sandra and her husband, and on this day, a burglar alarm system was being installed in her unit. She decided that the control panel should be in the back bedroom closet, where it would be easily accessible but also out of the way. As the installer labored to hook up and test all the wires (it takes hours to properly install a good security system), Sandra cleaned the windows until they sparkled, and thought about how nice life was going to be in her brand new home.

She had virtually forgotten about the alarm system, until the installer finally emerged from the closet and declared the job done. He gave her a warrantee card, explained its terms, and had her sign it. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked.

"No, there's nothing else, I don't think. Everything's fine!" Sandra replied happily, her thoughts already on the next tasks to be done.

"Oh, I bet there's something else I can do for YOU." He looked at her oddly and put unpleasant emphasis on that last word.

The early warning system that Mother Nature installs in every woman's brain started sending signals to Sandra that something was going very wrong here. "I don't know what you mean!" she said, stalling for time as she quickly assessed the situation and realized that her 5'5", 125-lb body would be no match for this husky red-headed workman who was 6 feet tall and built like a linebacker.

She began to be seriously alarmed, and chanted the mantra that generations of women have been taught to use as a talisman against danger: "My husband's going to be home immediately."

And, like generations of women have learned to their dismay, invoking the imminent appearance of a protector doesn't carry much weight with someone who knows that hubby probably isn't due home for hours. "Oh YEAH, there's something I can do for you." he repeated, as he pressed close to her, and started pushing her, backing her toward the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Sandra said everything she could think of that might stop him, but he ignored it all. "I can do something for you! I KNOW I can," he repeated with relish, as he anticipated the act he was about to commit.

With his quarry intimidated, obviously overpowered, and virtually cornered in the bedroom, he pushed her down onto the bed and started to unbutton his shirt...

But this quarry wasn't as intimidated or as overpowered as he thought she was. The fear she felt was combined with anger and the resolution to fight him at all costs, and relief that she wouldn't have to fight him empty-handed. Her hand went under the pillow and groped for the revolver she kept there, a little 6-shot Charter Arms .32 caliber, loaded with 5 rounds and the hammer down on an empty chamber. She brought the gun out and pointed it at him.

The whole time he had been pushing her down the hall, talking about what he was going to do "for" her, she had been thinking, "Just wait until I get my pistol, and then I'll do something for you!" Now she had the gun in her hands, and the determination to use it.

The instant he saw the gun, he turned and ran out the bedroom and out of the condo, leaving Sandra shaken, still angry, and fiercely victorious!

Shortly after that, her husband came home. Sandra told him what had occurred, and his response was typical of the times, "Well, it's going to be your word against his. If you really want to report it, I'll stand by you, but you know what will happen." Sandra knew. Nothing would happen.

Once she had recovered from the shock, she did call the manager of the security company to report the problem she had had with his employee. The manager was quite firm. "Well, lady, all I can tell you is that it is your word against his. That man has worked for this company a long time...." So, Sandra's husband was right, she wasn't believed.

The red-headed would-be rapist had run out of the apartment so precipitously that he left all his tools behind. He never came back for them, of course, but a few weeks later, another person from the alarm company called Sandra and explained that the workman who installed her security system had left some of his tools there that needed to be picked up.

"Tools? No, he didn't leave any tools here," was Sandra's response.

"But he said he did," the man protested.

"Well, it's just his word against mine, isn't it?" Sandra replied sweetly. This was the only small satisfaction she was able to exact, though a few hundred dollars worth of useless tools wasn't much compensation for what she had been through.

In the years since that incident, Sandra has continued to depend on a firearm as part of her personal protection strategy. She found a Gloria LeMaster gun purse at a gun show, and is delighted with its professional looks, well-organized interior, and hidden gun compartment. "I never go anywhere without a gun except on a plane."

Many doctors don't understand the necessity for being armed. The four other doctors, all men, in her group practice don't even own guns, much less carry them. "I can't imagine that," Sandra admits, "I'd feel naked without a firearm to protect myself and my family."

"People in my group, and at the hospital, know that I'm a proponent of shooting, and I have an NRA sticker on my truck," she says. "Some people think you're some sort of monster or weird person because you own a gun, but I tell them 'Look, I'm a regular person. I just want to have some chance against an attacker. When somebody attacks me, I'm not going to roll over and take it.' "

Recently, the New England Journal of Medicine has taken to publishing articles on sociology and criminology, arguing that firearms are a public health problem and so ought to be restricted. One doctor even published a piece titled "Should Ammunition be Restricted?" and of course he thought the answer was Yes.

But the woman who faced down the burly workman with the aid of a gun remembered her experience, and took pen in hand to eloquently chastise the members of her profession who think that all guns are bad guns. Here is her letter to the editor of the New England Journal of Medicine, published in the November 3, 1994 issue:





If Dr. Cassells's letter is representative of how physicians think about handguns in this country, then I am shocked by the lack of common sense in our profession. Do we really believe that criminals buy their ammunition at Wal-Mart?
Restriction of the sale of handgun ammunition to shooting clubs, police, and the Secret Service will not solve the problem and will create an even larger one. (Remember what happened when liquor was outlawed?) The hard-working, law-abiding citizens who believe in the principles that our country was founded on will be affected, not the criminals. A huge black market for ammunition will develop just as such a market is now developing for handguns and the approximately 19 so-called assault weapons that have been banned.

Dr. Casscells, if you wish to give up the only means of protecting yourself and your family, it is your right to do so. But please do not try to decide for the rest of us who do not wish to give up that protection. I can only tell you that possession of and willingness to use a handgun saved me from certain rape and possible murder. My assailant would not have been frightened of mace, pepper spray, or a nightstick.

The media brainwash us all to believe that guns are bad. I would like to hear the good things for a change, because I know there are many instances in which gun owners have saved their own lives and the lives of their loved ones.

I am one physician who is proud to be a member of the National Rifle Association.


Signed, Sandra K. Brooks, M.D.


A large number of physicians agree with Sandra, and many of them, including other women, took the time to write her to express their support.

In the years since Sandra's attempted rape, the world has changed a lot. Women are now much more likely to be believed when they report attacks. In addition to the increased awareness of the law enforcement community, there are lots of support groups and rape crisis centers, and companies are more likely to take seriously reports that their employees are trying to rape their customers.

Looking back on the attack with the wisdom of hindsight, Sandra says, "Nobody would have believed me then, so I did not report it to the police, which I still regret to this day."

I've heard many women say they did not report attacks to the police, and universally, they say years later that they wish they had made a report. If this ever happens to you, tell the police, tell your friends, tell your family, TELL EVERYONE! It may still be your word against his, but you will be amazed how many people will believe you!


=================================


This article was reprinted from Women&Guns May 1995, Copyright © 1995, Lyn Bates

[Erica]

A Terrible Place for a Gun Fight

A Terrible Place for a Gunfight

http://www.aware.org

It was just a normal Saturday evening in March in the convenience store where Darlene Ramsey and Charmaine Klaus worked.

Darlene was the cashier, a bright, pleasant, hard-working 21-year old, with a boyfriend and plans for the future. She had been working this job for several months, but this was her last week, as she was about to start a new job as a phlebotomist at one of the local hospitals.

Charmaine, the manager, was old enough to have been Darlene's mother, and already had a married daughter of her own, and 3 more still at home. Having worked at another store for more than a year, she had transferred to the store in Clarkston, Michigan 6 months ago.

The store was in a rural area of Michigan, about 5 miles from one of the region's major attractions, the Pine Knob ski resort. Despite the presence of a strip mall with a pizza joint nearby, the area was very dark at night.

At that time, in 1980, especially in rural areas like Charmaine's, most people thought nothing about having guns around, though anti-gun feelings were starting to be heard in some quarters. Charmaine was an active North-South Skirmish Association (N-SSA) shooter, participating with her husband, Bill, in civil war reinactments, firing black powder muskets, carbines, and even canons! She knew how to handle a handgun, too. She and Bill had one ever since they were married; she shot it quite a bit, though she had never had "self-defense" lessons.

When Charmaine started working at the convenience store, it meant spending lots of time there alone, and depositing the receipts after closing. The store owners had a strong policy against firearms on the premises.

Bill and Charmaine talked it over thoroughly. They concluded that since the location was dark and isolated, the job was sufficiently dangerous that she would defy the store's policy, and go armed to work, even though she would probably be fired if the owners found out.

So, Charmaine's work companion, in addition to Darlene, was a little Smith&Wesson Model 60, a 5 shot, .38 cal revolver that she loaded with 125 gr jacketed Remingtons. It went with her in an inside-the-waistband holster that was easily concealed by the smock that employees were required to wear. Whenever she went into the back office, a tiny room connected to the main part of the store by a hallway, she would take the gun out of the holster and put it in the center drawer of the desk.

That Saturday, the store was due to close at 11 pm. At around 10:45, Charmaine was in the back, doing the books and starting to get the deposit ready. Darlene was in the front, which had been empty of customers for a while.

Suddenly Darlene raced down the hallway and burst through the office door, shouting, "Char, there's a masked man with a gun out there!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

The man in the ski mask was not from the Pine Knobs ski resort. His name was Joseph Hartford, he was 21 years old, and he was out of jail on bail for drug dealing.

This particular evening, he and two of his buddies decided to make some money, and have some fun. But they didn't start with Charmaine's store.

They robbed two other stores first, at gunpoint. In one of them, Joe put the barrel of his 9 round, semi-automatic .38 Super into the clerk's mouth, but did not pull the trigger, perhaps because a lot of people in the store and he did not want witnesses.

The trio must have felt quite invincible when they approached their third target that night.

The buddies parked a few blocks away and waited in the car while Joe walked to the store, saw only Darlene inside, and knew this was going to be even better than the last two stickups!

= = = = = = = = = = =

"Char, there's a masked man with a gun out there!"

Charmaine instantly yelled, "Lock the door! I'll call the police!" Charmaine picked up the phone and started dialing the police (there was no 911 in that area then).

Darlene frantically slammed the door, and reached for the lock. Before she could twist it closed, Joe started to shoot, right through the door, and hit her.

It was a small room, and Darlene flew backward and slammed against the wall. Joe opened the door, and stood in the doorway, and Charmaine saw him, or at least his mask, for the first time.

She knew she would never have time to complete that phone call to the police. She dropped the phone, and went for the gun in the desk drawer.

Joe was continuing to fire, and he hit Darlene two more times. She fell to the floor. Unconscious, or dead? Charmaine didn't know, but she was about to change what was happening from a double murder into a gunfight.

The little revolver felt normal in her hand, and she didn't have to hesitate even a scintilla of a second to think about what she was doing. She had long ago made up her mind that she would use her gun if she had to, and now, she had to!!

Charmaine fired at the ski mask, and forced him back into the hall for a moment, but he kept firing into the tiny room, this time trying to hit Charmaine. She heard rounds whizzing by her ears, sounding "like a little pop gun," and she pushed the chair back, trying to use the desk as cover, still firing at him.

Joe returned to the room, walked over to where Darlene lay on the floor, pulled up her head, reached out with his gun, and deliberately shot her through the temple. Then he turned to get Charmaine.

He came at her, intent on delivering another fatal head shot just like the one he had inflicted on Darlene, and she instinctively ducked and put her left hand up to protect her head as he raised his gun. Her right hand still held her revolver, with one shot left. They fired virtually simultaneously. Her ducking maneuver probably saved her life; the bullet went through her left hand, through part of her jaw, and into her neck, through her larynx.

Charmaine's focus was not on her own injury, but on the gun in Joe's hand. She saw the slide lock back, and knew he was out of ammunition. She also saw blood all over him, and realized that her own final shot had been effective. She had shot him in the mouth, expecting the round to continue right into his brain, but the bullet broke up on a tooth instead. Nonetheless, she knew he was seriously injured, and Joe knew it too -- he turned and ran out the back door.

Charmaine's first thought was "If we die, at least I shot him! There is enough evidence for them to catch him. He won't get away with it!"

Charmaine walked into the front of the store, where, oddly, there were several customers, angry that nobody was there to wait on them! "We've been shot!" Charmaine explained, and suddenly there was chaos there, too, as people tried to take in what had happened. Apparently the sounds of the gunfight, all 14 shots, had not been heard in the main part of the store.

When Joe left by the back door, he set off the security system, and in a few minutes, the security company called Charmaine's husband, sure that this was just another false alarm. "The alarm is going off again," they told him, "You had better go over there." Bill looked at his watch. "No," he said, "They aren't closed yet, so something is wrong. You'd better send the police NOW." The security company did, and in just a few minutes the Oakland County Sheriff's Department arrived, and Charmaine had the emergency medical care she needed to survive. Darlene, sadly, had been killed.

The police investigation proceeded just as it should. Since Charmaine never got a look at the face of the man in the ski mask, she could make no positive identification. Good detective work turned up the fact that Joe had his buddies drive him to a hospital in Detroit, almost an hour from Clarkston. He tried to claim that the bullet lodged in his throat came from a robber he had encountered in one of Detroit's most crime-ridden areas. But his blood was all over her office, and the bullet recovered from his throat matched her gun. Joe is now serving a life sentence for the murder of Darlene Ramsey.

Charmaine endured a lengthy recovery from her wounds. "They took part of my hip and put it in my jaw," she explains. "And did some cosmetic surgery. I can use my left hand, and it looks almost normal, just a couple of knuckles look a little odd."

Charmaine never went back to work for that store - the management was still completely unsympathetic to her need to carry a gun. "They would much rather have paid death benefits than workman's comp," she said. So, after making her recovery, she went back to school and began a new career she loved as a respiratory therapist, a position she held until she retired recently.

She is still involved in shooting sports, and now is teaching the older grandkids (she has 13) how to use firearms safely. She still goes armed "every single day," but she has upgraded from the little 5 shot revolver to a higher capacity 9mm semi-auto. "I never leave home without it!"

"My attitude is better than most," she says, "Because I had a chance to defend myself."

[Erica]

WENDO -

http://www.icomm.ca/wendo/pages/about.htm

FROM ANIA S., TORONTO:
A success story?
After all, it was a success - I escaped, I fought with all my strength and I knew he had no right to hurt me. During the struggle I had a flash-image of my body assaulted, abused and raped, and I knew it could not happen. I wouldn’t let it happen. At the time, I didn’t think of it that way - I just used all my strength and instincts and fought...



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I knew it could not happen.
I wouldn’t let it happen.
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At about 8:30 a.m. I went for a run in the local park just outside of town. It was a relatively warm January morning. I had run perhaps 1K up a mild hill when I saw a man in his forties walking down. As I was passing by him, he asked what time it was, and after receiving an answer that I had no watch, he grabbed both my wrists and started pulling me to the side of the pathway. I was in shock-- nothing like this had ever happened to me, and I had never suspected passing strangers of wanting to harm me.
I yelled for help, I yelled "NO!" I asked what he wanted and received no answer. I was told to be quiet - I screamed at the top of my lungs...

As I was struggling against his hands and arms, the attacker attempted to choke me and kept pulling me away from the walkway. I was losing my strength. I decided to stop fighting; I hugged a tree very tight and gathered my thoughts. I gave him a few kicks to the shins and knees and awaited an opportunity to free myself and run.


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I gave him a few kicks to the shins and knees and awaited an opportunity to free myself and run.
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The moment came when, during another struggle, I managed to free my body from his arms. He was holding the sleeve of my sweatshirt -- I jerked my arm, with the sleeve, and.... Ran! I ran the fastest and most exhausting distance of my life. I knew he wouldn’t catch me, but I looked behind and kept running until I was amongst people.
Although at the time of the attack I didn’t know any Wen-Do moves, I think I had what is the driving and underlying principle of self-defence -- I believed that no one has the right to do any harm to me. I also had the drive and power not to allow it. I just knew that the flash of my body - humiliated and abused - could not happen. I did not and do not deserve to have that happen to me. No one does.

[Erica]

WENDO Success Stories

FROM A WEN-DO WOMAN IN TORONTO:
I was walking along the street with my fifteen-year-old daughter. We had our arms around each other, she was leaning her head on my shoulder, and we were chatting.

We passed a couple of men who were doing some repairs to the front of a Shopper's Drug Mart. One of the men, who was up a ladder, looked down at my daughter and me and yelled out, "Go on, why don't you give her a big kiss. Go on, I know you can do it, just give her a big kiss."

As a lesbian, I'd experienced homophobic harassment many times before, but no incident had ever made me as angry as this one, and that was because it involved my daughter. The thought of knocking this man right off his ladder was very tempting. I went up to the base of the ladder and suggested to him that he would be seriously hurt if he were to fall off. I also told his co-worker that this man's behaviour was completely unacceptable.


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I named the incident for what it was, homophobic harassment...
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I refrained from doing him any physical damage, but when we got home I called Shopper's Drug Mart and told the assistant manager what had happened. I named the incident for what it was, homophobic harassment, and drew his attention to the fact that the store's image would be affected by the behaviour of its contractor's employees. He agreed. The next day he called me back and said that the store's manager had spoken to the contractor employing this man, and that disciplinary action had been taken against him.

FROM A WOMAN WHO TOOK A CLASS AT WALLACE-EMERSON COMMUNITY CENTRE IN TORONTO:
This story happened to my grandmother back in Somalia. It happened around 1960 or so; she would have been about forty or forty-five years old then. She lived in Mogadishu.

She was standing in the street one day watching a neighbourhood dance, when she felt something press into her back. She thought someone had just bumped into her, so she moved out of the way, but then she felt it again.

She looked behind her, and she saw that a man had taken his penis out of his pants and was pushing it against her. So she reached down, grabbed his penis, and said, "We're going to the police station."


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So she reached down, grabbed his penis, and said, "We're going to the police station."
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And she marched him through the street like that, hauling him along, with everybody pointing and exclaiming and calling out, until they got to the police station, which was perhaps a ten-minute walk away. When they got there she told the police what had happened and the man was arrested.

TWO STORIES SPOTTED IN THE NEWSPAPER:
The following story about a Barrie high school student is excerpted from an article in the Toronto Star:

"The girl had just finished work at Horseshoe Valley Ski Resort, just north of Barrie, at about 9:30 p.m. last Sunday when three men in a black pick-up truck pulled up in front of her.

"Two of the men got out, grabbed her and tried to force her into the truck.

"'Apparently, she yelled or pushed away,' said Senior Constable Wayne Ross of the Barrie Ontario Provincial Police detachment.

"'My understanding is that another vehicle, it might have been a snow vehicle, approached and they took off.'"
(Michelle Osborne, Toronto Star, 16 January 1998.)

***Note that this article's headline was not "High school woman successfully fights off two male attackers." No, instead it was "Three men, truck sought in attempted abduction." It is worth considering, as you read the newspaper, how many of the self-defence success stories that make it into the paper end up camouflaged this way.

[Fighter]

Come on Guys Erica cant do this by herslef. I want to see stories by some other people. (no ofence Erica).

[Erica]

No one else is posting any success stories!!! Some on you all -- I know I am not the only one out there with stories to share!!

Erica

Renata's Success Story from http://www.jump.net/~judith/ReaderStoriesUn.html

This occured 18 months after I was hurt quite seriously (at 17) in a "classic" street attack. It left me horribly traumatized, suicidal,and convinced that I would never allow THAT to happen to me again. I knew that I would rather die.
I was walking to a resteraunt for lunch on a very cold Sunday and I passed a tram tunnel between buildings. A man was pressed up against the wall so I didn't see him as I passed him. All I heard was 3 quick steps squeaking in the snow, and then his body crashed against me and shoved me hard into the brick wall. My face was scraped I later realized. I don't remember thinking, but I do remember that although it all happened so quickly, there seemed to be lots of time. I pushed out with my hands against the wall, and back-kicked him in the knee with my trusty Doc Martens (which I highly reccomend as a practical fashion acessory) as hard as I could. I actually felt the kneecap slide off to the side. I spun around quickly and kicked him again where the knee used to be. He fainted. Now, this I'm not proud of, but even though I knew he couldn't hurt me anymore, I stomped his groin full force. It felt like crushing a huge poisonous centipede. I think I was in shock. I was shaking so hard...

Anyway then I rolled him into the recovery position, and ran to the resteraunt and called the rape hotline. I was crying and the woman kept trying to get me to tell her if I needed medical help. I finally calmed down and told her he did! She told me how to report anonymously to the police and get him an ambulance. The dispacher had trouble believing what I told him. I stayed in the phone booth and watched the ambulance pick him up. They must have known what happened because they were none too gentle. Then I called a friend and she and her mom picked me up. I was traumatized after but not as badly or as long.

Now when I tell this story I always emphasize the simplicity of the techniques and their effectivness. And I had no training then! In fact now I hope I'd have more control. But running into a victim who won't be a victim is an occupational hazard of being an attacker after all.


Why are succes stories important for women?

This is from the book- Her Wits About Her by Denise Caignon,

Success stories are an important component of self defense training, for many reasons:
They counteract the hopelessness we often feel about the pervasive threat of violence in our lives. Do you take for granted how you've allowed the threat of assault to influence your schedule, travel, living arrangements, etc.? A success story illuminates, for a moment, the possibility of breaking out of this invisible prison.

They boost our morale by showing us what we're capable of. We can think quickly and intelligently under pressure, and rise to the occasion when our lives are at stake.

They give us a reality check by counteracting the unreal slickness of TV and movie violence. This is what it really looks like: unpredictable, messy, often anti-climactic.

They counteract the damaging and totally false myth that we don't know how to figure out what's best for ourselves, that we can't trust our own thinking.


Lastly, they break the silence. Every success story, no matter how "trivial", deserves to be heard and celebrated.Why are success stories so important for women?

[Fighter]

Thats another great story... I going to find some on the internet and post them, but what I would have liked to do was have some "personal" ones that happend to me.

[Erica]

Fighter

I am glad that you have not had anyone violate your boundaries. It sounds like you are becoming more aware of options though if someone ever tries to hurt you.