Defend.net unofficial FAQ (An immature joke)

[Nothingness]

Q: Hi, I am a newbie. What is the best system for me?
A: Whatever that keep you alive, happy, and willing stay to train more.

Q: I heard that style x is the best and can beat the hell out everyone.
A: Just because you sign up for style x doesn't mean that you can beat everyone. Anybody, who is in a better shape and training can beat the hell out of you. Yes, that includes you with the blue belt.

Q: Who would win, style y or style z?
A: Anyone who is in better shape and training. Unless what you mean is who's faster in pressing button X, O, [], or /\.

Q: Why does style x sucks so much?
A: All tested systems are good. However, styles that have so much popularity will attract a lot of people. They include p*ssie wusses like you who are just barking and are not willing to train. Hence, they willl be COMMERCIALIZED and watered down.

Q: Some guy in my style won X, Y, and Z tournaments. So, I am as strong as him.
A: No, you are a p*ssie wuss.

Q: I am a descendant of a rare ancient X style and my teacher is the 17th generation of the secret style inheritant. I am the best martial artist ever.
A: No, you are a p*ssie wuss.

Q: Who would win, a grappler or a striker?
A: It all depends on the fitness and skill level of the each individual. But no, a p*ssie wuss like you will not win.

Q: My style is specializing and famous for x, y, and z types of movements. So, we are the best.
A: Training in that style will only make you good at x, y, and z. But hell no, even a p*ssie wuss like you won't be able to beat everyone using x,y, and z alone. Can a p*ssie wuss like you do x, y, and z, anyway?

Q: Will training in competition makes me be able to beat everyone on the street?
A: While training for competition will make you very fit in general, your technical training is more focused and must abide the rules of the competition. In the street, everything can be used. But may I suggest a p*ssie wuss like you to run before the beat the hell out of ya?


Sorry for ranting, I am the biggest p*ssie wuss ever

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

[Uncle Corny]

this is not an immature joke. this is the most insightful thread on this backward board. i approve.

[m.artist]

im with uc
i thought that was genius

[Nothingness]

Defend.net Unofficial FAQ - continued

Q: Does it hurt to train this style?
A: You are the biggest p*ssie wuss ever.

Q: If someone punch or kick or grab me like this or that. What should I do?
A: You shouldn't look like a p*ssie wuss in the first place. Get some real training!

Q: I want to know if your style is more effective than style x and if your style is for me.
A: Sorry, our founder/soke/shihan/si-gung prohibits us to associate with a p*ssie wuss like you.

Q: I heard that your style teaches meditation/internal power that will bring a super-natural power. I heard that people will fall down just because they have a bad thought while looking at you. I believe that it is a life-long "charging" process and akin to keep waxing the floor or polishing the mirror.
A: Stop thinking about whatever they did to you as a kid, stop looking at that mirror, put your pants on, and wash your filthy hands!

Q: Which martial arts will make me look good?
A1: A p*ssie wuss like you will never get laid.
A2: Oh, I am sorry, this is a fitness club, the [censored] club is one block down; it's the buidling with blinking pink lights.

Q: I am weak and desperate to find the most effective self-defense for me.
A: In an emergency, pull out your gun and nobody will EVER call you a p*ssie wuss.

[osopardo]

See that? You encouraged him, so he posted a continuation. Now who knows when it'll it ever end?...

[osopardo]

And Corny, who ARE those 2 guys?

[m.artist]

it just keeps getting better and better

[Nothingness]

Introducing the ultimate self-defense master: Lucky Luke, shooting faster than his own shadow.

[m.artist]

Introducing the ultimate self-defense master: Lucky Luke, shooting faster than his own shadow.

wow...that's fast....

[Nothingness]

Dialouge 1:

Person 1: I am starting to believe that my years of training in x martial arts is completely useless.
Person 2: You are such a p*ssie wuss.
Person 1: You are right. I need to have more confidence in myself.
Person 2: No, dude. You are a p*ssie wuss.
Person 1: So, what do I do now?
Person 2: Just like good ol' Dr. Freuid said; anything goes wrong with your life, blame your mom. Dude, you are a fully grown p*ssie wuss.


Dialougue 2:

Person 1: I saw this certain person who I know for sure holds a black belt in x arts. He competes in y arts competition in a blue belt category and lost.
Person 2: Dude, that was great! And you saw Bruce Wayne, too!

[Nothingness]

Sorry if I offended you in any ways. This is supposed to be a sarcastic joke. Yeah, f*cked up parents certainly suck. However, on a lighter note, people are master of their own destiny; we can always make the best out of the worst.