thsi no joke can someone make a diet menu for me?

[matbla]

good job you all

[Ghost]

YES I do, tough guy!!!!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerky_Boys

If you order one of these from Amazon, I reccomend Jerky 1 and 2. Though, they are all funny as shit!

thanks ill be ordering that vie mininova very shortly

[Thai Bri]

With every problem comes a solution.

Matt has less hours at work, meaning he will get more free time and less money to spend soooooooo.......

Spend more time training and buy less food!

Hey presto!

[Ghost]

Thanks mike,
but dont ban him, as much he is a pain hes part of the make up of the forum. if we lost him it would be like losing the crap armchair that you know should be replaced but its been there so long that its part of the room.

[Ghost]

thank you but no thanks i am sad

you are sad because your work hours got reduced?

is that just for the week or longer, you need to get a bit of a grip if that upsets you.

[matbla]

thank you but no thanks i am sad

[Tom Yum]

i work a grosery store taking out trash and doing dishies for food court from matt blake

Sad days for the koolaid man, sad days indeed.

Long gone are the good times in the 80's and 90's, when koolaid man used to bust through the brick wall with energy and enthusiasm, handing out little packets of koolaid to all the children to help them defeat the thirsties.

In 2005, koolaid man hit rock bottom when was found, living in a van down by the river, filling himself with vodka and drinking it in a never ending cycle....

Helass, he has found work at a gorciery store earning a working-man's wage.

...but Koolaid man will be back. He will be back.

[matbla]

i guess you all do not care i lost hoursat work

[Ghost]

i work a grosery store taking out trash and doing dishies for food court
from matt blake

what dont you understand exactly about losing weight?

You need to eat less than you do now. you know what food is healthy so eat that instead of crap, gradually reduce the amount you eat untill you start losing weight.

How to lose weight is obvious.
Sticking to it is the hard part.

[matbla]

i work a grosery store taking out trash and doing dishies for food court
from matt blake

[Ghost]

I didn't realize that the koolaid man had to clock in his hours.

PMSL!!!!11111

[Tom Yum]

i lost hours at work i was getting 18 hours i saw my hours for next week i am only getting 12 i sad

I didn't realize that the koolaid man had to clock in his hours.

[Ghost]

C'mon ghost, the subject of this thread is Matt Blake's diet. Here are some dieting tips Matt:

- instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.

- Take any food item and rub it on a paper towel. If the towel becomes clear, its good to go.

- Avoid lean meats, vegetables and fruits. Purple is a fruit. So stock up on jelly stuffed donuts.

this is more cyclical posting. ive already done this for him and its not enough apparently. this is why i get tired.

http://www.defend.net/deluxeforums/showthread.php?p=283886#post283886

Hi Matt, heres the diet menu suggestion for you, im making a couple of options for some of the meals and you can make a days food up from that. im not going to do 7 in one go cos it takes time. i might add some more things later.

anyway here are some suggestions and you can flexible with it as there are many right ways to go about doing something. Some meals are the same each day because ultimately some food just fit certain times of day.

-------------------------
Training:
In addition to your training do 20-30 mins of the exercise bike before breakfast on the days you dont train. build this up to 1 hour gradually. rest on sundays.

Food options
--------------------------

Breakfast

80g Plain rolled oats (these are just standard oats) and 30g whey powder

OR

(non training day)
2 whole eggs and 5 egg whites mixed with 3 slices wholemeal bread, make an egg sandwhich triple decker, no butter or anything else.
-------------------------------------------------------------
After training food.

I know you train in the morning so this is your next meal if you are training.
70g Wholemeal(brown) pasta + 120g chicken breast or pork or beef+ vegetables of your choice(nothing on them for flavour)
-------------------------------------------------------------
If you arent training then have 1 or 2 pieces of fruit between breakfast and lunch.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Lunch
1 tin of tuna(in brine not oil) with salad which should include 1 or 2 tomatoes if possible, 2 slices wholemeal bread.
WITH
5 omega 3 fish oil caps

Or
protein shake, 30g whey, 50g peanut butter mixed together.
-------------------------------------------------
Mid afternoon
2 pieces of fruit + 30g mixed nuts(its not much)
--------------------------------------------------
Dinner.

50g wholemeal pasta OR 50g brown rice
WITH
1 small chicken breast OR 1 tine of tuna OR 1 salmon steak OR 120g of beef OR 120g of Pork.
With
Vegetables or salad.

3 hours after dinner
150g cottage cheese OR 30g whey protein
WITH
5 omega3 fish oil caps + 30g mixed nuts

this will give you roughly 2300 calories per day on training days.
If you feel too weak then increase the portion size by 20g here and there and record what you change.

------------------------
What you might need:

I suggest you get a set of scales so you can measure out food for yourself, this way you know what you are getting each time. Get some Whey protein powder for yourself, this is because its easy to use and suitable at certain times of the day.
gets some olive oil and keep it in the fridge always, get some omega 3 fish oil capsules and keep them in the fridge too. weights listed are uncooked weights. if you decide to use wholemeal bread then keep it in the freezer and defrost slices as and when you need it to make it last longer. Eggs use free range if you can that have been fed naturally as they have a better omega 3.6.9 ratio, dont worry what that is, but they are better for you.
mixed nuts, get the uncooked unsalted ones,so they should alot of different nuts in one bag.
chicken breasts cut up and put in freezer bags and freeze, you will have to be careful of the hygeine with this, same for the pork(dont get bacon) and beef if you choose them. grill meat if you can, id suggest you dont have red meat more than 3 times a week..

NOTE: these are only basic suggestions, you should play around with the figures and find what works for you, make sure you dont have a nut allergy and are not allergic to anything there. Make sure you pay attention to how you feel, its your best guide to what is happening to you, if you feel too weak and are losing weight too fast then increase portion sizes till you weight loss slows and you feel better.Its up to you what you follow and im not telling you to do this diet exactly as it is, its just a set of guidelines and is not definitive nor exhaustive. Tell your staff where you live that you are following a diet now and show them what you are doing, and again monitor how you feel and increase portion sizes if you need to.
Dont try to lose the weight quickly as it will just come back on again after unless you are really careful, good luck,if you dont like something say so and you can pm me if you want to know something or need more suggestions....give me some time if you do.

[matbla]

i lost hours at work i was getting 18 hours i saw my hours for next week i am only getting 12 i sad

[Tom Yum]

C'mon ghost, the subject of this thread is Matt Blake's diet. Here are some dieting tips Matt:

- instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.

- Take any food item and rub it on a paper towel. If the towel becomes clear, its good to go.

- Avoid lean meats, vegetables and fruits. Purple is a fruit. So stock up on jelly stuffed donuts.