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Fear (?)

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  • Fear (?)

    I broke my ankle back in March 2003. It's been the only injury that has ever put me totally out of commission for any length of time.

    The bones are now completely healed and occassionally I get some swelling and aching, especially towards the end of the day. But, I'm in pretty good shape medically and physically so recovery has been "excellent" according to my doctors.

    Lately tho, I'm noticing how it has affected me and I wonder how much is intelligent, prudent care and how much is irrational fear.

    For instance;
    1. I don't kick as much as before. When I do kick it has now invariably become a front kick or side kick (injured leg back away from opponent, kick with leading, non-injured leg). I figured that for the round kick I would have to kick with the non-injured leg and change the stance so that the injured leg would be exposed to a low range attack.
    2. My instructor commented that while holding the heavy bag for me he felt a definite lack of power when I kicked with the "injured" leg compared to the other one. BTW - he wants me to just play it safe and be patient.
    3. Recently during a very light friendly grappling practice I sensed tori go for the ankle and I immediately tapped before he was even there. Tapped, I tell you!

    I can understand being prudent and patient, but I'm starting to wonder if now I've become psychologically crippled or demoralized.
    I know retired took some time off after his injury and has only recently gone back to training. I wonder if this is just a phase one goes through.

    Any input?

  • #2
    After a month in BJJ I caught my finger inside someone's gi and snapped it like a pencil. I trained with one hand for about 2 months wearing a splint on the other. And yes everytime I get down on the mat I think about it. I am much more catious about taking grips near the ankle and wrist cuffs of the gi now. The only thing you can do is focus on the problem. Force yourself to use that leg, even if its not as hard as with the good one.

    The more you use it, the more confidence you will get back.


    • #3
      I know the feeling. A few months ago I got a disturbing call from a person claiming to be the fiance of another person that barely broke up with me and he told me never to call her again even though I was promised a few things but after that I realized it was a bunch of bull and I was lied to and betrayed and stuff I punched a wall not knowing there was a 4x4 wrapped in sheet metal behind that particular section of the wall and I hurt my knuckle pretty bad on my right hand. It literally hurt to punch a pillow. I couldn't even fluff my pillow with my fist. Also I have this thing where I like to hit things you know like walls, headboards, small woodland creatures and I would forget right up to the point of the shock of pain. Even though it doesn't hurt like it did I still hold back remembering the maddening flash of pain I received whenever I hit an object.


      • #4
        The apprehension of exposing formerly prone areas that you are talking about is an instinctual reaction that is rationalized by your mind in less than a second. Watch your body when this happens, and I think you might notice that you could be tensing up physically as well. Remember to relax and move smoothly.. The trick is to treat the (in your case) back so that it may end up healthier (ie. flexibility, circulation, posture, etc..) than before.


        • #5
          Originally posted by Ikuro
          The apprehension of exposing formerly prone areas that you are talking about is an instinctual reaction that is rationalized by your mind in less than a second....
          That's my point, it's a mental thing! I know I'm physically o.k. but my mind has developed it's own phobias and over-reactions. And it's like a flinch, very hard to control, even with practice.

          And now, some of the people I train with, knowing that weakness, have started using it against me. It's probably a good thing, forcing me to face the problem, but it's becoming more frustrating when they can "read" me and manipulate it to their advantage. Arghh!! I can just hear them; "Circle to his left, the Bear don't kick with his left." As if I didn't have enough weaknesses already!