Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'm quiting JKDU

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I'm quiting JKDU

    The Magician's Code


    213 pages, U.S. \\$23.99 Canada $24.95, Penguin Press Publishing, ISDN 343322

    A dangerous combination of magic, modern psychology, karate, kung-fu, pankration wrestling, and savate, the Magician’s Network Self-defense System is coming into the
    world scene as an incredibly innovative, highly street-ready martial art system. This action packed book is a beginner’s manual in mastering the highly guarded secrets behind Master Bristol’s lifelong venture. The fundamental principles and techniques of M.N.S.S. shown in the book will display the utter brutality and deceptive effectiveness embodies in the “magician’s style.” Reverting step-by-step illustrated demonstrations of just some of M.N.S.S.’s powerful maneuvers will show you how to fend off even the most highly skilled fighter. Full explanations of body mechanics and physical laws and science are clearly defined to show you how to turn yourself into mechanized human killing machine. Whether
    you are an offspring to the world of martial arts, or a skilled veteran, “The Magician’s Code” will metamorphosis you into the most complete fighter in the brutal world of street combat.

    Chapter 1 The Spider’s Weaving Legs

    Learn the basic sleight-of-hand techniques and coordination exercises to deceive you opponent and end the confrontation within a few seconds. The coordiation exercises will train you to be able to rotate your joints up to 360 degrees. You will have enormous short range speed, agility, and flexiblity.

    Chapter 2 The Rattler’s Lunge

    Harness the secrets of manipulating everyone’s visual perception which will turn your flurry of punches into invisible strikes. Your opponent will literally won’t know what hit him.
    Chapter 3 The Kangaroo’s Pouch

    Palming of weaponry is one of many highly praised tactics found in the M.N.S.S. system. Learn to palm everyday items like scissors, kitchen knives, and baseball bats, and learn how to unleash them to brutally maim your opponent without him being aware of it until he is bludgeoned semi-conscious on the ground. In addition, the art of concealment teaches you how to comforable hide weaponry in body orfaces such as ears, armpits, nose, and anus, so you will be armed with no one even knowing it. You will be taught how to draw these weapons from these areas at a moment’s notice. Master Bristol has used concealment in his stage acts to effectively conceal things such as lock picks, trick cards, show pigeons, and other magical apparatuses. This chapter will also show clips from a high-speed video in which Master Bristol conceals a Swiss Army Knife inside his buttocks. Wearing loose slacks, he plunges his hand down the back of his pants and takes out the Army knife with blade drawn. This is all
    timed at 0.657th of a second. Master Bristol will lead you into reaching such incredible speed and coordination.

    Chapter 4 The Slippery Eel

    Master Bristol demonstrates the Kinetic Tension-Relaxation principle to escape from a straight-jacket. Then he shows how to use this same concept to escape from multiple submission holds. In addition, he will show you how to stimulate your sweat glands to provide lubrication and induce body odor to distract the opponent
    Chapter 5 The Octopus' Tentacles and Suction Cups

    M.N.S.S. grappling derived from roman pankration combined with magician’s principles will help you merciless defeat any attacker in the clinch. Learn the concept of
    the “third and fourth arm,” The opponent will feel like he is grappling with up to four different individuals. Learn “skin surface friction” to lock on any submission hold or trapping maneuver.

    Chapter 6 The Skunk Sprays Its Mist

    Piston spitting is a highly effective distractive and maiming manuever that makes the difference between win and lose in a fight. Master Bristiol shows the oral mechanics behind spitting saliva with enormous accuracy and pressure. Spitting can be used at long distance, in a clinch, or even on the ground. The piston spitting techinque will funnel your saliva into someone’s pupil, causing enormous pain and blinding, allowing you to execute that final finisher.

    Chapter 7 The Howling Wolf and The Laughing Hyena
    Phonetic sounds is an untapped magical instrument in beating your toughest opponent. Through years of research, Master Bristol along with neorologist, Dr. Micheal H. Gellmann have discoverd that certain auditory signals causes the brain to automaticly react bionchemically in distinct ways. These methods have been field tested in combat situations, and similar techniques have been used for years by magicians in hypnotist stage acts to control an unknowing volunteer from the audience. Certain pitched
    sounds will decrease the serotonin levels in your attacker’s brain which will cause him to have an uncontrollable fear of you. Other noises taught will increase the oxtocin
    levels (orgasmic-related chemical) in your opponent’s brain. Your opponent will literally feel that he is falling in love with you for an intermittent moment--long enough
    for you to make the kill.

    Chapter 8 The Bellowing Blow Fish
    Beginner’s exercises and scientific concepts behind Ban’Ligueli will lead you on your way to the art of levitation. Learn the mechanics behind developing what the Turkish calls “piudela” or natural helium. The art requires inducing the body to produce high concentrations of methane and suppression of carbon dioxide which when fuse together creates a natural gas that’s lighter than air. Also special techniques and recipes for ancient herbal laxatives will
    w to reduce gas and flatulence while training. Several mesmerizing, undoctored photographs shows Master Bristol and several of his students levitating several inches off the
    ground. There will also be pictures of assault method using levitation for more advanced students.

    Chapter 9 Bear Gazing Into Sunset
    The practice of “mind boxing” will help any person to react to the unpredictable. Mind boxing helps one train to react to spontaneous situations as realistically as possible without injury . Mind boxing trains the individual to relax he mind, surrendering to his/her natural impulses. The pratictioners purposely creates a daydream of a self-defense situation where he is being attacked by either one or multiple attackers. The mind’s natural impulses take
    control and the imaginary attackers are guided by these impulses. Master Bristol gives step-by-step instruction in developing mind boxing training to help you to instinctively react to just about any circumstance.

    Chapter 9 The Darting Hummingbird
    Dart Shifting, used along with visual redirection tactics, allows one to seemingly disappear from your attacker’s frontal view and reappear in back of him. Dart shifing requires Ban’Ligueli breathing methods to lighten your body weight along with proper body alignment, wieght distribution, and centriputal force. This technique will allow you to dart in any direction as if you vanished and re-immerge in another location a split second later.
    Chapter 10 Fending Off The Paranahs

    Master Bristols provides stills from a video from a demonstration in which he is attacked by nine of his students while he is cooking an omelet. The attack is unrehearsed and the students were given permission to attack Master Bristol with full force. Examine the pictures as Master Bristol disable all nine of his students one by one while continuing to tend to his omelet until he finishes cooking it in 5 minutes with nine of his students either on the ground or fleeing in pain.

    Chapter 11 The Phoenix Speaks
    Master Bristols gives frank, uncensored comments regarding controversial issues. He explains why popular mixed martial arts training used in no-holds-barred competitions are incomplete for realistic combat on the streets. He explains why well-respected martial artists
    today including those who have been successful in mixed martial arts competition are frauds. Master Bristol give undaunted criticism on well-noted individuals like Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Gene Lebelle, the Gracies, Harry Houdini, and Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid )


    http://streetcombat.8m.com/main.html

    We got any members in San Bernadino ??? I'm dying to find out if this is legit. Let's get a pool going to raise $$ for the book, c'mon ,it'll be a great read. I throw in $2 (only $22 more) as my share.

    Jim must study Chapter 3 the Kangaroo's pouch and demo for Burton's mothly vid. ''

  • #2


    DUDE!

    You had me hook line and sinker!!!
    I was fooled 100% ROFLMAO!

    If we was sparring I would have been knocked out!


    -Rick@Iamsuchasucker.com

    Comment


    • #3
      I visited "Master" Bristol's website and came upon this little gem:

      "Fantasy Island was an ingenuiously [his spelling, not mine] created series that reveals the true workings of real life. The character of Tattoo (played by the legendary Herve Villechaize) was an icon that embodies the true nature of Awakening. Though it was Mr. Roarke who was shown to possess all the magical powers to make his guests' fantasies come true, it was Tattoo, his midget sidekick, who was the true powerful being."--Eric Bristol

      This came as a great reassurance to me since, for many years now, I have been modeling my own martial-arts self-development after Tattoo. I shadowbox on my knees to approximate the height of the diminutive grandmaster. As I kick and punch, I repeatedly shout the powerful ki-ai "the plane, boss, the plane!" which energizes my technique. O, Grandmaster Tattoo, why did you have to pass on into the realm of Chi and leave your followers all alone?!?

      My Tattoo-style Kung-Fu, coupled with Master Bristol's technique of opening a folding knife with the buttocks, has made me invincible! I challenge you all to a death-match!

      P.S.: Hey, armlok, do you mind if I borrow your Chris Reeve Sebenza to demonstrate the "kangaroo's pouch" on the next video?
      Last edited by Jim McRae; 04-26-2001, 04:12 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        I just visited the site. I went to the forum http://pub38.ezboard.com/fthemagicia...unityforumfrm1 (is this for real) and they were talking about keeping an open folding knife up your rectum . Personaly it hurts when I crap too much corn, I don't think I want a knife stuck up my arse. But I think that there is a group starting in San Fran. that is working on sticking Swiss Army Knives with the 48 attachments up there yang.

        Comment


        • #5
          The Secret Of Levitation Revealed

          --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          Master Bristol has studied 10 years in "Ban'Ligueli," the Turkish/Indian art of levitation. It's not done by wires. It's not an illusion. It really can be done. There is no "metaphysical force" involved. Master Bristol has gone behind the misticism to show you the SCIENTIFIC principles behind elevating your body off the ground.

          Master Bristol during private meditation has elevated himself 2 inches off the ground for more than 1 minute. The practice involves a complex method of lightening the body weight and ultilizes other physical forces which can clearly be explained through science to allow the person to momentarily "float" on air. In his course, Master Bristol demonstrates several effective and lethal attack manuevers using levitation






          I will buy my copy right now, I have always wanted to learn how to levitate without the gas discharge

          Comment


          • #6
            Levetation is for beginners. I stopped levetating years ago. I kow use jet propultion. My diet consists of beans for breakfast, luch and dinner. With snacks of broccoli and hearty amounts of ruffage. I can take off, 0 to blue flame in 2.1 seconds.

            Comment


            • #7
              I would love to see the first guy who tries to hide a knife in his ass.

              Comment


              • #8
                WHen you dont have a job iits best to start a church or martial arts school

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by McDojoJKD View Post
                  WHen you dont have a job iits best to start a church or martial arts school
                  Why do you think that?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This thread is laugh out loud funny! Thanks for making my day.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I can see it now....Come on, lets fight!!! *pulls a rabit out of his hat and throws it at the opponent!!!!*

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shadex View Post
                        I can see it now....Come on, lets fight!!! *pulls a rabit out of his hat and throws it at the opponent!!!!*

                        The holly rabit from Monty Python's Holly Grail?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          There is this rare book, Secret Fighting Arts of the World by John F. Gilbey, in which he deatails his quest to find rare fighting arts. In one encounter, he found a guy who's art was his ability to make his breath stink like a city dump - at will - and so bad as to knock one out. The author goes on to talk of the guy's diet for this at-will breath. He relates how that one moment the guy's breath was normal. In the next, at will, it was so bad, he actually passed out.

                          I know some will joke about people they know with bad breath, but, though pundits without any research into mind over body arts, will knock it, it's logical this art can really be developed. Here is a link to that book by the way:

                          http://www.amazon.com/dp/0804816085?...E7FYXR1NC9DCN&

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Liberty View Post
                            There is this rare book, Secret Fighting Arts of the World by John F. Gilbey, in which he deatails his quest to find rare fighting arts. In one encounter, he found a guy who's art was his ability to make his breath stink like a city dump - at will - and so bad as to knock one out. The author goes on to talk of the guy's diet for this at-will breath. He relates how that one moment the guy's breath was normal. In the next, at will, it was so bad, he actually passed out.

                            I know some will joke about people they know with bad breath, but, though pundits without any research into mind over body arts, will knock it, it's logical this art can really be developed. Here is a link to that book by the way:

                            http://www.amazon.com/dp/0804816085?...E7FYXR1NC9DCN&
                            You keep working on your breath, I'll keep working on my sweep..

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by bodhisattva View Post
                              You keep working on your breath, I'll keep working on my sweep..
                              Try a vacuum cleaner - more power.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X