... No wonder!

[chris davis 200]

Oh the pain -the pain of it all!

No wonder many disregard the internal chinese systems as bolxs.

http://media.wushuonefamily.net/media/w1fuser/1/Zhang%20Quan%20Liang%20-%20Bagua.mpg

This is hilarious!! On another forum i frequent all the internal stylists have slated this like it aint no thang!

Check it out.

Cheers
Chris

[Szczepankiewicz]

Ya think?

Watch uke's knees. Every time, right before he 'receives the chi power' they bend dramatically to set up him being 'moved'.

It's really a shame. There are some really good aspects to the internalist training.

[chris davis 200]

yeh - the leg thing is just one of many stupid actions on the part of that guy.

The other major one - training with this tool of a teacher!

[Gong Sau]

Real Internal

Think the vid clip is bogus? HA!!! This is a Master's account of the REAL Tai Chi.

I am Dr. Yang Sze, EVIL MASTER OF CHI!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Allow me relate you this story young man who visit my kwoon. He come my
kwoon wear Brazil jiujitsu t-shirt and he say his name Gichoke. He
asking me I teaching grappling technique. I say no, young Blowchunk, I
teaching taichi chuan. He getting mad and say my name Gichoke not
Blowchunk, then he disrespectful taichi chuan. He say taichi for old
man like me, then say his Brazil jiujitsu technique beat my technique.
I say young Fudgepoke, you make me laughing, MWAHAHAHA!!!! So he again
getting mad and say my name Gichoke not Fudgepoke and challenge me to
fighting. I say you silly little high school boy, go back rolling
around on floor with other boy. MWAHAHAHA!!!! My evil-style taichi
chuan is most best combat system, if proper technique no can defend!
Only practicing chi powers making TRUE MARTIAL ARTIST and you young
Sheeppoke are weak in ways of chi! But silly little boy insist so we
go into my training room. He ask where mat for floor because my kwoon
floor hard wood. I say no mat for evil-style taichi young Gijoke!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! Now he getting afraid but he too stupid to leave. So I
say you attacking me now, young Gispunk! And he try to shoot under my
arms and taking me to floor, but I using internal strength technique
from evil-style taichi and bitchslapping Gichunk into wall!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! Many time he attacking and many time I bitchslapping
silly boy. But silly boy still attacking so I change to deadly dimmak
technique. Only using one finger striking and only touching Gichoad
now, but every time he attacking and every time he falling to floor
scream in pain and silly boy crying about hard wooden floor!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! So now I using deadly pressure-point chinna grappling
technique and flipping silly boy into air and landing on hard floor. I
say now I demonstrating more weakness Brazil jiujitsu system. I say
now I demonstrating Chinese animal style kung fu, and my style is
dog-style kung fu. So I blow whistle and my attack dog Fang coming
into kwoon! Fang attacking young Gichimp and Fang biting silly boys
arms and face. I say Brazil jiujitsu not complete martial art, can no
defend against dog! MWAHAHAHA!!!! But stupid boy saying **** you, so
I kicking silly boy in head while he wrestling Fang. So I say see
young Gipoke Brazil jiujitsu technique no can defend multiple
attackers! MWAHAHAHA!!!! After silly boy bleeding long time I tell
Fang go away. So I asking young Gipuke you believing in chi powers
now? He say no, so I say I now using ancient Chinese secret art of
feng-shui against him. Stupid boy asking what is feng-shui? So I say
feng-shui most ancient art of manipulate chi power by rearrange furniture. Very powerful system, can no defend! So silly boy laughing and say you will defeat me using interior decoration? Then he disrespectful feng-shui so I demonstrating. I kicking coffee table into silly boys knee, then I move chair behind silly boy, then kicking Gijoke against chair. Silly boys head is flying into desk corner and cracking head open. So I say see silly boy this furniture
position much worse for your chi! MWAHAHAHA!!!! But STILL stupid boy
no give up, so now I using most deadly technique of no touching chi
power KONG JING!!!! So I saying you call your name Gichoke so now I
showing you CHI CHOKE! MWAHAHAHA!!!! So I standing across kwoon from
silly boy but I using kong jing power and choking stupid young Gispunk.

After silly boy waking up I asking now you believing chi powers?
Gichunk get down on hands and knees and begging forgiveness, asking
please me teaching him secrets of evil-style taichi. He finally
learning that Brazil jiujitsu technique no can defend against chi
powers!!! So I saying young Gipunk, you are weak in ways of chi but
you have demonstrating much willpower in our combat. So I teaching you
evil-style taichi!!! EMBRACE DARK SIDE OF CHI, AND WE CAN RULING WORLD
TOGETHER AS FATHER AND SON!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!! So Gispunk becoming Dr
Yang Sze first American student and giving up silly Brazil jiujitsu!

But I no am teaching Gichoad true secret of evil-style taichi! When
silly boy knocked out from hitting desk, I using ancient Chinese
secret. No Dr. Yang not using Calgon! MWAHAHAHA!!!! I using hypnosis
on silly boy so when I doing phoney kong jing technique silly boy
thinking he choking! Now I renaming Gichoke as new name Chijoke, and
he serving Dr. Yang as personal slave! MWAHAHAHA!!!! I teaching
Chijoke fen shou technique, making silly boy to cleaning my toilet with
bare hands! MWAHAHAHA!!!! And in return I teaching Chijoke phoney
taichi techniques I learn from David Carradine video tapes and exercise I saying is chi kung really from Richard Simmons "Sweating To The Oldies" videos! MWAHAHAHA!!!! And Chijoke paying $200 dollar every month for phoney taichi, and if silly boy asking about technique not effective I say take twenty year to master. And if young Chijoke doubt power then he remembering back to him choking with kong jing power!!! Silly boy mind very weak easy to manipulate! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

So you maybe asking why I doing terrible mean things to young Chijoke?

Because I am Dr. Yang Sze, EVIL MASTER OF CHI!!!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

[chris davis 200]

LOL!

You have way too much time on your hands man!

[Tom Yum]

LMAO....sounds like Gong fu theatre on mad crack.

[Gong Sau]

Time on Hands

Too much time on my hands? Terrible song by the terrible group Styx. Family business. Nothing to do but hang out or do the lunch thing. Play racketball or squash at the Club. Older brother calls the shots. Not sure what I do but it's not much. Nice title and nice office. I like expensive cars and expensive women or I would get a real job Got a hot looking babe of a secretary probably more a baby sitter. I'm the baby Boring but it pays great. I might get to do something in a year or two. Business seasoning takes time.

[Thai Bri]

This guy has blown 'em - good style.

I like him.

[Tom Yum]

Too much time on my hands? Terrible song by the terrible group Styx. Family business. Nothing to do but hang out or do the lunch thing. Play racketball or squash at the Club. Older brother calls the shots. Not sure what I do but it's not much. Nice title and nice office. I like expensive cars and expensive women or I would get a real job Got a hot looking babe of a secretary probably more a baby sitter. I'm the baby Boring but it pays great. I might get to do something in a year or two. Business seasoning takes time.

Hey Gong Sau, didn't you used to have a link to your website? WHen you clicked on it, it said something like "mwahahahah you've been fooled by Gong Sau and are vistor number 1369" or something?

[Gong Sau]

Web Site?

No web site dude. 1st chance at forums. Lurked for a time and most are nasty. I feel SPM forum guys are the most nasty. Nobody but the poster is real or any good. Same for their Sifu. Crazy stuff by paper tigers kind of guys. Not for me. Fighting sucks. Fighting is dangerous only to be done when there's no other way. Too many forum guys make it light. It's not. Good way to get hurt for life. Web site, huh? Bet my secretary could put one up. She's the bomb on computers. I know how to turn one on. Not too bad on the keyboard. Not a lousy speller either. Writing is kind of bad. I've only written a few of business memos. Mostly about people having visitors that park in my place. Impressive, huh?

[Szczepankiewicz]

You go away Gong Sau

You send secretary.

She the bomb.

She post for you.

[Gong Sau]

Secretary

Maybe I can get her to pose for boob shot and post it for avatar. She's got poke your eye out on nips breasticals

[Gong Sau]

Interview

Interview with Dr. Yang Sze:

Isn't Yang Sze the real name of Bolo Yeung?
You better be careful, buddy. You go around using his name in vain, and
he might just kick your evil ass! ;-)
"Chong Li! Chong Li! Chong Li!"
LOL! Yes it is, and Evil-style Tai Chi or not, I'd be careful about using
his name like that unless...nah.
"You break my record, now I break you...Like I break your friend!"

Ah, Bolo Yeung I am liking his movie very much he most best evil
villain... except for Dr. Yang of course MWAHAHAHA!!!! But he only to
studying Yang-style taichi not evil-style taichi so no he can defend
against me! He most strong man and Dr. Yang only frail old man but with
most best combat system evil-style taichi no he can defend! Size
matters not! At least that what Mrs. Yang telling to me! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

I want to be able to take someone down in a second. what would be the best art for this. I am considering shaolin kung fu, would this be the best?

Evil-style taichi is most best combat system! With performing proper
technique no can defend and size matters not! Please to contacting Dr.
Yang for lesson at my new kwoon only $200 per month for twenty year so
you also can killing at distance with most deadliest no contact chi KONG
JING power! If Dr. Yang and Mrs. Yang no at home please to leaving
message with new houseboy Chijoke. MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Yang Sze, you are dreaming! The best art is without question Zen Chi Fa! No
other art teaches you the deadly one-finger strike, or how to take out
hamsters and traffic wardens, so there!

Until death faithful to Zen Chi Fa Fen Chi Bah! I am now laughing! MWAHAHAHA!!!! You are knowing nothing about true power of evil-style taichi! You must to not be reading Dr. Yang's post "Gichoke Visit My Kwoon". You reading this post then you understanding that evil-style taichi no can defend! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

That's got to be the best kiai ever in RMA: MWAHAHAHA - I suspect it has devastating effects ;-)

Ah, most perceptive young Mr. Ilias. It too bad you not wanting to
being evil like Dr. Yang's little spunkmonkey houseboy Chijoke!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! But for to be effective must to be laughing from dan
tien, so chi can being effectively emmitting.

This is littlest known fact but evil-style taichi laughing technique is
father to Japanese most dangerous art kiai-jutsu! Kiai-jutsu master can
to driving person insane with kiai! But is rare art only known living
master for kiai-jutsu is now Yoko Ono! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

In true brotherly spirit of all evil martial art,

Still Dr. Yang Sze is funnier. No contest.
The funniest post to ever grace rec.martial-arts.
I am humbly asking permission to place a copy on my web site.

Permission most humbly granted for purpose to spreading knowledge about
evil-style taichi! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Awards:
1) Best flame of the year
2) Best application of Kong Jing
3) Best application of Dim Mak
4) Best evil laugh usage
5) Best fake Chinese accent
6) Best use of word "bitchslap" in a martial arts news group
7) Best application of feng-shui in a martial arts news group
8) Best Star Wars referrence in a martal arts news group
9) Best multiple opponents argument
and finally
10) 12 names for Gichoke in a single post!

To honorable Mr. Dontpanic,

Highest Supreme No Can Defend Boxing! I am loving this name!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! So I now am to awarding you honorary red sash in
evil-style taichi! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

[Tom Yum]

Don't drink bong water. Do pass secretary picture.

[Gong Sau]

Passing the Sec

I'll ask her. She might bust me out to my brother. Listen to another long lecture on being a mature responsible adult I'll take her to happy hour this Friday. Write it off as a business meeting. Couple of drinks and she's out on her ass