Drinks on Me!!!!

[kingoftheforest]

I know it's cyber lingo but somebody please tell me what KOTF means? LOL

K is for king
o is for of
T is for the
F is for forest.


Now say your abc's


Sorry hardball somebody crowned me KOTF awhile ago in some far off forgotten thread.

[Hardball]

ROTFLMAO=Rolling on the Floor Laughing my Arse Off!!

[treelizard]

I, too, am a very happy drunk.

[Hardball]

Ever tried a drunken brawl? My Army days were full of drunken brawls. ( A little weed too!!) Seems to give you an edge especially when you employ the sucker punch. Vodka and Orange juice with a little Tai Stick; "It's on"

[treelizard]

I really want to try sparring drunk (with someone who's not drunk, of course.)

I asked a self-defense instructor about fighting while drunk and how to make up for loss of fine motor skills, lessened reaction time, etc. He told me not to drink at all, ever. Hmmm.... I asked him if I could just show up to class drunk so I could learn it well enough to use while drunk and he said no...

They say that as far as combat abilities and rection time, you act like you are intoxicated after 24 hours without sleep... http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servl...rce_login=true


Hey Hardball, wanna spar drunk in a bar with alcohol spills all over the floor,
bad lighting, chair, broken glass, and a bunch of drunk people everywhere?

[treelizard]

Oops, sorry, that article was about training early in the morning, not without sleep. My bad, different study.

[Hardball]

Hey Hardball, wanna spar drunk in a bar with alcohol spills all over the floor,
bad lighting, chair, broken glass, and a bunch of drunk people everywhere?

Nope, Bars are full of concealed weapons like Pistols & Blades and weapons of opportunity like cue sticks. Yikes

[Tant01]

LOL Drunk Monkey fighting!

I really want to try sparring drunk (with someone who's not drunk, of course.)

I asked a self-defense instructor about fighting while drunk and how to make up for loss of fine motor skills, lessened reaction time, etc. He told me not to drink at all, ever. Hmmm.... I asked him if I could just show up to class drunk so I could learn it well enough to use while drunk and he said no...

....


Hey Hardball, wanna spar drunk in a bar with alcohol spills all over the floor,
bad lighting, chair, broken glass, and a bunch of drunk people everywhere?

Sounds like BIG FUN! How could he resist? I'd jump on that in a heartbeat!

We all know about "Drunk Monkey" style kong-Fu! That's hard to beat!

Find some bar with sawdust on the floor too! That's the stuff!

[Sagacious Lu]

This cracked me up, and this thread seems like a good place for it:

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
=====================
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails",
"highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO"

[knifethrower]

This cracked me up, and this thread seems like a good place for it:

LMFAO---------------------- funny stuff, dude!

[Hardball]

This cracked me up, and this thread seems like a good place for it:

LMAO, I tried to give you some reputation points on that one but it said I had to spread it around first. LOL.....I'll rep you later. He He he

[treelizard]

A funny little email I received--


Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.
Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind.

[Sagacious Lu]

Side effects may include....... incarceration

BWAahahahahahahahaha

[Hardball]

They have home made booze in the joint or either they drink after shave lotion. Yikes

[Tant01]

Let me piss you off more!

I'm a happy drunk....It's things like Wal-Mart and the Mall that piss me off.....

Next time you're sitting around drinking with your buddys pull this up and laugh a little.

Dr. WAL-MART...


One day, in line at a company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it down to Wal-mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak it in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-mart."

That afternoon, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
When he got home, he mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and his own sperm sample for good measure, and hurried off to Wal-mart before it closed eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and waited for the results.
Ten seconds later the computer prints the following: "1. your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener kit. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They are not yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-mart."