Training with a sense of humor

[Mako]

OK, I usually avoid topics of this nature like the plague, but this just kills me;

We have students from every walk of life, age, SES, etc.
But WITHOUT FAIL, someone farts during stretching and everyone snickers like little kids. Me included. You KNOW it's going to happen, and yet everyone snickers. WHY?! LOL!

(I guess that's what people get for eating at WHATABURGER before class.)

[Evilution]

I thought it'd be entertaining to post some of the one-liners and funny stories from everybody's training. Like how the other week boxing I scored an awesome jab after my training partner stepped on my dog, momentarily distracting him (we were training in my backyard). Here's some good one-liners from my class to get things started.

Most common training statement in general. "Are you okay?"

Most common statement when doing grappling drills. "Do you want to be on top, or should I?" This statement is always followed by giggles.

Most common response to an a$$ whooping or being on the recieving end of a particularly well delivered technique. "How'd you do that?"

After particularly hardcore training. "Is that your blood or mine?"

One of my training partners who has kind of a big mouth often likes to say "You be hurtin' me, you be knockin' me dizzy, and I still be talking sh!t". His way of dealing with pressure I guess.

I'll try and think of more, meanwhile let's get some other funny incidents or accidents up here.

[Bad Karma]

Ha-ha!

"Oops! Sorry about that!" usually preceeded by a sound of pain or relief (phart!)

"OK! OK!" when someone is in such a bind they forget what it's like to tap

One "OK!" or "TAP!" and then immediately followed by a "thud" when someone waits too long to give up


Peace

[Water Dragon]

Okay here's mine

In BJJ...
When I pull something out of my ass from CMA
"What the F*** was that!?!"
My response if I was lucky enough to get it on a Blue
"Oh S***, Jesus!!! (tap-tap-tap-tap)
Most responses when I go for a tech
"NO NO NO--You gotta use your hips"

In Suai Jiao...
Usually as I'm going through the air
"OHHHHHHH SHHHH*********** (THUD)

Tai Chi...
Usually from some new age freaks
"Oh wait, I think I can feel my Chi"
"But Tai Chi's not about fighting"
"Why are we spending so much time learning to punch, this isn't Karate"

From the little Old Chinese men...
"No, No use strength...You look like Water Buffalo"-This ones always accompanied by the little old Chinese man making horns with his fingers.

"See, he think he have me now" (WHOMP)

After discussing meditations
"It feel good, like a little Maui Wowie"

[Patterson]

Besides the tai ch'i jokes you guys are completey not funny. I mean that is the most unfunny thing I have ever read in my life.

[Evilution]

Meanwhile, Patterson, you consistently charm us with your witty banter. Why don't you share some stories?

[Yojimbo]

How about when the grappling training starts to degrade to the point that it you are soon using WWF techniques and the training session becomes a Royal Rumble!!

This happend a few times in HS wrestling too..

[Underdog]

One time at the Rome academy I was working on the knee on stomach position when my partner erupted with a world-class fart (sort like a trumpet with a clarino ending); the guy started to cough frantically to disguise the fart but I was laughing so hard that he got caught...

After two seconds another fart from a guy erupted so we all were bent laughing like crazy...

It cost us a lot of situps....

And the more situps the more farts...

Maybe it was dued to the fact that we had dinner at a mexican pub the evening before...

It was know as "fart tudo" session...

[Cleatus Ledbetter]

An Excerpt from the soon to be released grapplers handbook
"How to get a quick submission and feel good about it"
by Cleatus Ledbetter



A tip form chapter #12:

If I am having trouble with a particular opponent, I like to fake the pre-roll hand slap and go strait for the back. If you are quick enough you can usually establish a rear mount and a windpipe choke before your opponent can say Benedict Arnold.

P.S. It will usually only work one time. You then have to roll with someone who wasn't looking.

[Edited by Cleatus Ledbetter on 10-07-2000 at 12:43 PM]

[Hookah Smokin Caterpillar]

Its always funny, my instructor Marcelo says some hilarious stuff sometimes without noticing it because of his English. Like he'll say when he's teaching us to break the guard to stick our knee in their butt or he won't say how that Jiu Jitsu forbids groin shots. Also his hilarous story about how gay people can't train Jiu Jitsu in Brazil. Another funny story was after I was done sparring with him I was so proud of myself and was bragging about how he only tapped me out 100 times...