When to walk away?

[Qkfx]

I know the street fight thing is done to death but... this weekend I was with my girl (fiancee now) walking through a mall. Two guys go beyond the just looking ( which I know we all have to tolerate) to the blatant disrespectful gawking and commenting to each other. I lost it, gave 'em the finger used a few F bombs and so on. I was simply pissed and wanted to roll. They looked down and walked away. She was pissed at me and said I went overboard. Where is the line for standing up for yourself and your girl and doesn't that leave you with your tail tucked between your legs and walking away 99% of the time? Sure it's safer in today's world but I have trouble sleeping at night when I have to walk away and eat whatever shat is thrown my way. On the one hand I know it's juvenille and you shouldn't care what others say or do, but can't you stand up for what's right in the public square instead of letting the trash have their way?

[hounddog]

was she dressed like a ho? if so, it was her fault. tell her to put on some clothes for christ's sake.

j/k

do you really want to get into a physical altercation because some dudes think you woman is hot? Just feel good in knowing that they want her and can't have her.

hD

[Lacrymosa]

Well, my friend,

I will say this: The Eff-Word isn't something that'll inspire a wife-to-be. I've only been married for just two years now, and I've come to the conclusion that you just have to let small things like that fly. Sexual harassment is one thing....I will NOT allow another person verbally or physically abuse my wife without a challenge.....but the simple fact that someone eyeballs your woman isn't a good reason to lose your cool.

Take it as a learning experience. I'm not certain what was said or what innuendo took place, but your fiancee's disdain is a good indication of how appropriate your actions were. Believe it or not, a woman WILL give you signals when it's time for you to take action in such a situation.

[Kim Smith]

Actually, I disagree. You see, us women are complex creatures. While your g/f may have given you an impression of disdain, deep down she was flattered that you stood up for her. The last thing any women wants is to be with a guy that will not step up when the chips are down.

[GinSueDog]

Qkfx,
I know how you feel but I think you handled the situation poorly by losing your cool. I have had guys walk up to my girl and hit on her in front of me, knowing I was standing five feet away. Even then I didn't lose control. I would simply suggested in a friendly and controlled manner that prehaps there chances would be better off in the direction they came, from there I'd turn up the heat a little to suit the situation. Of course women like guys to stand up for them, but they also like guys to be in control, that means not only being in control of any situations that may a rise but of themselves too. If you blow up everytime some guy hits on your girl or looks at her funny she may start to think you have self esteem issues. Next time guys gawk at your girl ignore them, if they do a little more then gawk and you think they are being disrepectful handle it in a cool and controlled manner. Turn up the heat from there if you have to, who knows they could be friends of hers or maybe looking at someone behind you guys. In fact I remember something like that happening to my girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend. A friend of mine saw my girl's best friend and jokingly hit on her, well her boyfriend totatlly flipped out and tried to start a fight in the middle of the club. Long story short everyone got kicked out and two weeks later she dropped him. Well that is all my 27 years of wisdom on the subject of women in one post.-ED

[aseepish]

Know when to run

Damn! And I thought this was going to be a Kenny Rogers thread.

-If anyone wants me I'll be at Roasters...

Tony

[Shimora]

"You got to know when to hold them,

know when to fold them,

know when to walk away

know when to run"

~Kenny Rogers The Gambler


"Now please dont think im weak I didnt turn the other cheek. I hope your old enough to understand. Sometimes you got to fight to be a man"

~Kenny Rogers The Coward of the County

[Lithp]

When guys hit on my wife I usually watch and smile. In my head I'm thinking "yeah, she's hot and there's no way in hell you're going to get her". Then afterwards my wife and I joke around at how she shot the guy down. She can get pretty ruthless at times. Personally it meakes me feel good.

[sakattacked]

Been there. It all depends on the particular situation. In this case, just let it go and ignore it. It's very rude and you feel like your manhood is being challenged. But we have to let go of the small stuff.

If they continually made comments and followed you guys, that's another matter.

Kim Smith: no offense, but I don't think your view represents the majority of women I know. A catcall or two and some comments do not justify getting into a fight over.

[Slider]

I agree with Lithp instead of blowing up you could have said something like thats right and shes all mine MUAHAHHA...

[SOG]

Qkfx

I think you did fine. Those guys were not civilized and you told to them in a way they would understand that their comments were wrong.

You could have been less aggressive, but they may have thought you were weak and that would have ramped-up the situation. All the second guessing aside, your response shut them up and everyone walking away with no blood in the dirt. It was a good day.

Your girlfriend didn't like something you did, what else is new. I do all kinds of stuff my wife does not like. IMHO women really do not want men to do everything they say.

[Qkfx]

Thanks

Hey guys-
I really do appreciate all the responses. I know I should have let it go, I haven't had an incident like that since the college bar days and my own reaction surprised me...and her. Gin I appreciate your advice...turn up the heat as needed, no need to go full steam straight away. Anyway thanks again-
Q