Being defeated before the fight begins

[dkm]

I am starting to come to terms on why I have been avoiding going to my classes. All this time, I have been one of the best fighters/grappler in school. Now all of a sudden there is a new student in the school. He is fast, hits very hard, and his technique is superb. The worst part is that, and everyone at the school knows this, he is out to cripple someone. He has bad intentions. He has given one person a broken nose. Another person is out completely b/c he kicked him in the knees. Every time I spar with him, I get defeated, exhausted, and in pain. It took me a long time to be honest with myself and admit it that I have not been going to sparring classes because I do not want to face him because admitting that would be a blow to my ego.

Then suddenly today I realized that I am mentally defeating myself before he even makes contact with me! Now I know what they mean when they say that Mental Defeat is Worse than Physical Defeat. He can beat me all he wants to Physically, but if I let him beat me mentally, then he has TRULY won! I cannot control who I physically get defeated by, but I can certainly control who beats me mentally……….which should be noone.

[Biker]

Obviously, he fights dirty in class (why does the instructor allow this?) Sometimes you just have to stoop to their level to let them know that that sort of thing is not acceptable.

If the instructor either has not noticed or is giving silent consent to his actions, voice your concern. You are there to learn, not get permanently hurt.

[Mr Angry]

Well sooner or later you will get somthing on him, NO one is perfect.
Think about wot you do best wether its striking sweeping grappling and work it on him hard...
Look at it this way every time you get exausted that pushes your stamina that bit further. And when he sparrs hard with you just think its improving your conditioning.
At the end of the day if he is as good as you say he is well we all need somone in our class which is of a good level.
If you are the best in the class and no one can match you then you will not improve.
The time when you improve is when you are pushed to your limit if somone can run rings around you then this should give you the incentive to train harder. Carry on sparring with him and eventually you will find your self matching him this means that you are improving..
The more you fight with him the less scarry he will seem... if he fights dirty try not to stoop to his level show him how to fight properly.

[MrPoopy]

So you were previously only going to class because you thought u were the best? What's up with that?

Does it really matter if he's better? There are plenty of people in my class that are a lot better than me and I still get a kick out of grappling with them.

Btw, what martial art are you studying?

[Guest]

dkm - that was one of the best posts I've seen on a forum such as this. By the way. I've been there too.

[holte2]

Originally posted by Mr Angry
Well sooner or later you will get somthing on him, NO one is perfect.
Think about wot you do best wether its striking sweeping grappling and work it on him hard...
Look at it this way every time you get exausted that pushes your stamina that bit further. And when he sparrs hard with you just think its improving your conditioning.
At the end of the day if he is as good as you say he is well we all need somone in our class which is of a good level.
If you are the best in the class and no one can match you then you will not improve.
The time when you improve is when you are pushed to your limit if somone can run rings around you then this should give you the incentive to train harder. Carry on sparring with him and eventually you will find your self matching him this means that you are improving..
The more you fight with him the less scarry he will seem... if he fights dirty try not to stoop to his level show him how to fight properly.

damn thats the best thing you ever posted...that really good advice

[Mr Angry]

I have my good days

[dkm]

Originally posted by Biker
Obviously, he fights dirty in class (why does the instructor allow this?) Sometimes you just have to stoop to their level to let them know that that sort of thing is not acceptable.

If the instructor either has not noticed or is giving silent consent to his actions, voice your concern. You are there to learn, not get permanently hurt.

The instructors are aware and trying to work with his "problem".

[dkm]

Good points Mr. Angry

[dkm]

Originally posted by MrPoopy
So you were previously only going to class because you thought u were the best? What's up with that?

Does it really matter if he's better? There are plenty of people in my class that are a lot better than me and I still get a kick out of grappling with them.

Btw, what martial art are you studying?

MrPoopy. I hear what you are saying. I guess I became equivalent to a spoiled kid and now I am humbled......and I will continue fighting the best that I can, but with modesty.

[JaredExtreme]

We had this problem at my BJJ school. This high-level blue belt was very cocky and would fight dirty even during casual rolling at the end of class.

When I first started, he would basically get the mount and taunt me instead of actually teaching. Also, there was a blue belt that was wearing a brace on one of his knees, so what does the @$$hole do? Kneebars him.

Afterwhile the school and my instructor got sick of his crap and kicked him out. Unfortunatly I believe he is still fighting in the local MMA comps, but oh well. You reap what you sow.

[crazyjoe380]

wait for him when he leaves the gym and bam.... your weapon of choice is on you


jesus.. you have to deal with it some how or leave the academy simple as that. i have been taught that if something like that happend to me.. and i left to another spot knowing i was acting like a little b.itch (like you are ..no offense) then i couldn't live with my self. going to tournaments.. seeing them.. knowing i was a punk ass b.itch and didn't stay.. i'd stay if i was you and deal with it...

what im saying is ..


if dude is hurting you then don't fight him until you are ready..
if you guys are fighting..(training) why so ruff??

please break it down. the little b.itch part is just the way i talk..

so break it down..

did u go back ??

[Biker]

The instructors are aware and trying to work with his "problem".

How quaint! Work with his problem! Easy to cure. Tell him he either fights clean in class or he's out! How hard is it? He's paid up until he's 90 years old? Refund his money and send him packing.