Instructor Walks Out

[jonbid]

I was at a tournament today and some of our students where fighting so most of the class went to watch/participate. In this competition the young ones went first then progressively older. I was with one of the older students and he was fighting. He was the only older student fighting. After the younger students had finished and it was only this older student Darren left to fight, the instructor and most of the other students left!!! So I was there with him and the instructor had walked out. He hadnt said goodbye to Darren or good luck just left.

When he found out he had left he was a bit annoyed ( or words to that effect). His brother was there who is an instructor so he stood behind him and warmed him up an stuff.

Anyway, later I found out that the instructor never really liked him and they have never gotten on well. Well Darren is going to leave the club. Whilst I was there, I saw another club which is closer to my house and their fighters looked sharper, better prepared, all round better.

The thing is, Darren is going to move to this club and I am unsure wether to join him, as the instructor did leave him and they club looks better and is closer to me.

what is your opinion? should i stay or go?

[Xtreme J]

Loyalty and convienence are, of course, always factors to consider, but in the end, it all boils down to one simple question:

WHICH IS BETTER FOR *YOU*?

There's an old saying which goes ' if you cannot take care of yourself, how can you effectively serve or guide anyone else? '

My advice is, visit the other club, observe what it has to offer yourself, then compare the two. However, when you do so, throw this whole ' instructor left ' ordeal OUT of your mind, it will only cloud your decision-making. Human mistakes happen and can be overcome through respect and communication, but better is just plain better, period. Find which one is better for you, then decide.

Good luck in your journey.

[MrPoopy]

Loyalty is out the door the first time money exchanges hands. Unless you have known your instructor for a pretty good while, I see no reason to be loyal to him. You pay him for instruction. He does it for the green back, Not because you're loyal.

My advice would be to check out the other club. If you haven't invested a lot of time in your current club, and the other club looks good, join it.

[eXcessiveForce]

I wonder if one of the gracies was your instructor if you would feel that loyalty is out the door.

Many instructors teach for money, but students realize that nothing says they have to teach you.

Without loyalty there can be no instructor student relationship.

But loyalty and respect should be given after it is earned.

[MrPoopy]

"I wonder if one of the gracies was your instructor if you would feel that loyalty is out the door."

Why would that make a difference? For me, it would probly be financially impossible to train under a Gracie.

[Szczepankiewicz]

This above all: to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day; Thou canst not then be false to any man.

--Shakespeare

I love witty quotes. They make me feel so very wise.


Poopy's got a good point. The teacher student relationship is all about a business arrangement. Any time money is involved it casts a certain shadow on the situation.


I think my instructor is a great human being and we get along pretty well. If we do disagree, and we have, we talk it out because the relationship I have with my instructor is very important to me.

Other relationships to other people aren't as important to me. If all I was doing was paying some guy to teach me and I didn't have a strong bond developed, you bet I would leave if they pulled something fishy.

It takes months and years to build trust with someone. It only takes one action to destroy that trust.

Spanky

[eXcessiveForce]

I understand the point being raised but I guess you must define loyalty.

I have taught many students and I do not mind them asking questions or even visiting other schools. They usually come back the next day with a new appreciation for our school.

But students often do not know enough to decide if what they are learning is useful or not. If they did they wouldn't be there.

Most students want to learn how to throw a knockout punch before they learn they have to keep their wrist straight.

Loyalty to your instructor should be to listen to what they have to say and train the way they believe is best. That does not mean you can never train anywhere else. But it is important that you realize that if everyone shared the view that there be no loyalty that there would be a lot less instructors.

My point was, if you were training with Helio, how long do you think he would waste his time if he felt that you were not loyal.

I have told students to leave becaust they had a poor attitude. They always look shocked. I did this when I did need the money. But a student who does not have some loyalty to his instructor, his school, and his system is untrainable.

That doesn't mean that students should be blind to what is going on. If you are loyal to your instructor and you find he is doing something Illegal, Immoral or unethical, I believe his has betrayed his honor and does not deserve loyalty of his students.

I was forced to alert the police to things that were happening in my school when I was 16 and just strarting to teach. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But I could not allow children to be hurt. And that was happening without question. It wasn't the training that was hurting them. It eventually lead to the school closing.

I still owe that instructor a lot. He taught me some valuable things and I wouldn't say otherwise. That is all the loyalty that he deserves.

Part of loyalty is being honest with your instructor. If there is a problem talk to them about it. But if it is not able to be solved sometimes it is good to leave a school.

There are levels to loyalty. No loyalty signals a poor students who isn't worth the time to train. To much loyalty makes it very hard because students begin to see the instructor as a perfect person rather than as a human.

[Szczepankiewicz]

Well spoke good sir.

[MrPoopy]

I just don't believe loyalty is something that happens the first time you walk into a school. It doesn't matter who the instructor is. If you're just going to a school to learn for yourself, there is no need to build a relationship with your instructor. And without that, there is no reason to show loyalty.

Loyalty as a requirement and instant respect may be things that work in a traditional martial arts setting. But BJJ does away with tradition. You don't do away with the respect and formalities and still expect your students to get all up on your balls.

[jonbid]

well i havent got any belt in this place so i dont think i have been there that long.

Well would it be a bad idea to be honest with the instructor and say that I think this club is better and im going there instead?

To be honest, when I joined i felt like he was doing the bare minimum with me, he shrugged me off to other students to show me the basics and then never really talked to me until i told him i would be interested in going to a tournament.

Do you not think hat what he did was out of line? Leaving mid tournament when you still have one fight left. (He got joint 3rd as it happened)

[MrPoopy]

It seems like your pretty concerned with how your current instructor might react if you leave. Did you sign a contract or something?

If not, there's no reason to explain yourself to your current instructor or the next one.

[Kingston]

i agree with Mr. Poopy (never thought id hear those words )

This "instructor" obviously has no respect for his students...

i dont know if we are getting the full story, but i personaly would have stoped going to practice right after the instructor left the tournament. (that is if the story is how i see it)

that student was representing the instructor in a tournament, the "trainer" should stay to see the results, and also give support/pep talk/pointers. All of that your so called instructor should do on his own free will. Not to mention the student was PAYING HIM for his instruction, to beleave that your job is done when the tournament begins does not bode well for this instructor of yours. My opinion is that his actions were totaly irresponsible.

just say your leaving, if he asked why say "things arent working out" ....... That kid who was left was a paying student, a member of your "club" he should be treated with the same respect that all those other students were.

just my two cents......im not sure if im getting the full story, but that really pisses me off.

[MrPoopy]

Funny funny Mr. Kingston.

[Guest]

That Instructor sounds like a knob. Leave and find one better.

[jonbid]

well i am sure that is the full story because he got up and left... with the other students with him. It was literally me and darren.
Well no I havent signed any contracts but I think if i just up and leave it a bit disrespectful, like he was to us that day.