Best Way to Handle Stalkers

[Hardball]

It's just like the whole sex offender thing...the rules are so generalized that pissing in public (even if you think nobody is around) and getting caught can put you on the sex offender's list.

If what I did is considered stalking...the term is fucked up. Is there anyone who thinks what I was doing was wrong? Please speak up.

Just tell the judge you have a weak bladder and you will get off.

What you did was an invasion of privacy not stalking. Depending on local laws of your county or state you may or may not have broken the law. Most people in realtionships do that but don't get caught. The only problem is that it shows a lack of trust for your partner in which case the realtionship is headed down hill so nothing matters anyway. If you can't trust you girlfriend/wife then you aren't in a good realtionship. Cheating wives are more common than you think. Finding a good woman is hard but not impossible. Word of caution--don't get charged with stalking your wife or domestic violence because you will lose all of your gun ownership priviledges. For any red blooded american losing gun rights is a nightmare.

[Sagacious Lu]

Garland, what you're talking about isn't stalking it's self-preservation. Like Harball said, if you've got to constantly check up on your GF than something is wrong with the relationship but that happens to pretty much everyone sooner or later. There's a big difference between being an obsessive stalker that's intruding on someone's life and protecting yourself from a coniving GF's lies.

[Tom Yum]

Garland, what you're talking about isn't stalking it's self-preservation. Like Harball said, if you've got to constantly check up on your GF than something is wrong with the relationship but that happens to pretty much everyone sooner or later. There's a big difference between being an obsessive stalker that's intruding on someone's life and protecting yourself from a coniving GF's lies.

Relationships do depend on trust, but you have to screen this out early on. Usually your gut instinct is right - maybe some dudes have better instinct than others, but usually its earned, right...lol.

I was set up on a date from a friend a few months ago. The gal was attractive and really intelligent. As we started talking and as I watched her, my gut instinct told me "she dates nice guys , makes 'em play the chase and then walks on 'em."

And if I didn't play to that game, it wasn't going to work out.

It didn't work out...lol.

[Tom Yum]

To answer the best way to handle stalkers: I'm not sure what the best way is, I suppse it depends on the situation.

I would check local/state stalking laws.
Know your rights and be prepaired to excercise them.
Cut all contact with the stalker, if they are known.
Communicate your boundaries.
Be prepaired to fight and not back down.

[DickHardman]

Relationships do depend on trust, but you have to screen this out early on. Usually your gut instinct is right - maybe some dudes have better instinct than others, but usually its earned, right...lol.

I was set up on a date from a friend a few months ago. The gal was attractive and really intelligent. As we started talking and as I watched her, my gut instinct told me "she dates nice guys , makes 'em play the chase and then walks on 'em."

And if I didn't play to that game, it wasn't going to work out.

It didn't work out...lol.

why do females do that? is it because they just want the attention?

[BoarSpear]

I'm talking about hardcore physical stalking. Showing up at your job, showing up near your home, following you and starring you down.. Basically searching you out for fear. Stalkers enjoy the reactions they get from their victims. I'm talking about being stalked by a derranged person who may or may not be with his buddies. Some homicide victims were stalked prior to being victimized. What you descirbed is called "Cyber Stalking" Good question

Any motive involved? Why have you drawn the stalker? Knowing him will help you lead him down a particular path...sounds much easier to prepare for than a complete stranger taking you totally by surprise.

I was taught this as a kid, it stuck with me and has proven as true as the maxim "fast is slow, slow is fast."

"There are those misguided persons in the world who will seek to harm you. They will await you in darkness with fist and blades drawn. Do not fear them or become angry with them, instead, allow your heart to hold the emptiness of purity, you will hear the sadness and rage of you attackers intentions, the winds of his hatred will take him to the destruction he seeks"

[Tom Yum]

why do females do that? is it because they just want the attention?

Its just game playing for control, whether they are aware of it or not.

Here's what I've found from personal experience and many, many long conversations with dudes and dudettes.

The game playing slows down a bit in their late 20's/ early 30's, but it depends on the person...

In their late 30's/early 40's they act the way you wished they would've when you were 18!

Go for the Demi Moore!!!

[DickHardman]

Its just game playing for control, whether they are aware of it or not.

Here's what I've found from personal experience and many, many long conversations with dudes and dudettes.

The game playing slows down a bit in their late 20's/ early 30's, but it depends on the person...

In their late 30's/early 40's they act the way you wished they would've when you were 18!

Go for the Demi Moore!

you know, thats what my friend did. he is only 22 and he is now dating this woman who is 30 and recently divorced lol. she was taking him out on the ex husbands cash for quite a while. he started training in muay thai after i recommended it to him when he said he was afraid he may get into a physical confrontation with the ex husband at some point lol....

[Garland]

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

[Tom Yum]

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

Sounds like you're a pretty good guy, Garland. You'll be fine...



gilf-hunter...

[BoarSpear]

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

perv.

[kingoftheforest]

I need to find myself a lonely old grandmother.

Go down to the local Bingo hall. Hell you're close to lots of states that have gambling machines.

[7r14ngL3Ch0k3]

he started training in muay thai after i recommended it to him when he said he was afraid he may get into a physical confrontation with the ex husband at some point lol....

Did he start smoking da herb too? lmao

[treelizard]

I'm talking about hardcore physical stalking. Showing up at your job, showing up near your home, following you and starring you down.. Basically searching you out for fear. Stalkers enjoy the reactions they get from their victims. I'm talking about being stalked by a derranged person who may or may not be with his buddies. Some homicide victims were stalked prior to being victimized. What you descirbed is called "Cyber Stalking" Good question

They say restraining orders don't work, but I think it'd be good to get one anyway. Then when something happens, if you have to hurt the person, there's proof they were stalking you, sort of.

[Tant01]

By the book...

They say restraining orders don't work, but I think it'd be good to get one anyway. Then when something happens, if you have to hurt the person, there's proof they were stalking you, sort of.

Yup...

Here's the thing. You need to establish a pattern of behavior that clearly demonstrates who is the victim.

On occasion the perp will do the same thing (get a restraining order) In MOST domestic situations the "stay away" order of the court is mutual.

IF you have a restraining order filed against you it becomes illegal for you to posess any weapon!

So, you need to start the paper trail early and secure the right to protect yourself.