MT: 2 girls, 1 slacker

[Knowledge Bot]

2 girls, 1 slacker By skatatika - 03-27-2009 03:59 AM

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I'm pretty new here, so excuse me if this tread is not for here, but it's a female MA problem so I thought it was the best place to put it.

So here's my problem: We're only 2 girls in my BJJ/grapling/MMA class(we focus mainly on BJJ/grapling for now) and while I am trying to learn as much as I can from class the other girl doesn't seem to want to learn anything at all, for me, she's just interested in the boys/men in class, and that drives me crazy. It wouldn't bother me at all if it didn't stop my progress, but since there's only two of us, the instructor is always putting us together I miss alot of practice - when we learn a new technique or we're doing an old one we take turns - I do it 2 times, then she does it 2 times as well and so on, but I only get to do it 2 times in a time that we could both do it 10 times if she was serious.
I tried telling her that she should be more serious, didn't work, I can't ask my instructor to swich partners, there's noone that would take her, there's noone even close to her weight from the boys.

I know you won't solve my problem, but I was hoping I would get some advice on that problem.


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[TheSymbol]

You should hire a bunch of actors to pose as rapists, corner her with these actors, and when she is about to be dealt the uh.....final thrust they all shout out "surprise!" then you come out and tell her in a real rape situation she'd be in trouble and that she should take the class more seriously because rape has become a major concern in your area.

I think the only problem with this plan is you could get in some legal trouble over it. So really I think you should encourage other women, perhaps friends of yours with a good work ethic to attend the class so you can just bypass this uninterested party and train with someone offering a bit of enthusiasm and work ethic.

It's pointless trying to change other people, if she's just there to look at the guys or whatever it's unlikely she ever really cared about the sport/martial art that much.

[JadeDragon]

My suggestion is to after class or before class when no one is around ask your instructor if you can talk to him in private about an issue/problem that you are having and just explain it to him. Maybe he will notice this in class and when he sees her flirting with the guys or goofing off he could say something like "students, we need to pay attention and practice this technique I just showed you." Or he could say something like that. Have you already discussed this with him. Forgive me for being sexist, I assumed its a male teacher thats why I say he or him.

[Tant01]

Pointless arguement...

You should hire a bunch of actors to pose as rapists, corner her with these actors, and when she is about to be dealt the uh.....final thrust they all shout out "surprise!" then you come out and tell her in a real rape situation she'd be in trouble and that she should take the class more seriously because rape has become a major concern in your area.

I think the only problem with this plan is you could get in some legal trouble over it. So really I think you should encourage other women, perhaps friends of yours with a good work ethic to attend the class so you can just bypass this uninterested party and train with someone offering a bit of enthusiasm and work ethic.

It's pointless trying to change other people, if she's just there to look at the guys or whatever it's unlikely she ever really cared about the sport/martial art that much.

I disagree (and AGREE) ! There is no need to instill fear in the girl. Save the "spooky" stuff for RBSD or Rape Prevention... Remember the waiver!!!

The thread is fairly pointless since it was moved here by the cyberbot from some other forum but just to discuss the TOPIC... It is unfair for the more serious student to be paired with her same gender counterpart. I would offer that SOME male students will be too distracted by horemones to be of much value as a training partner but MOST mature and SERIOUS students should have no problem focusing on the TECHNIQUES.

There is no doubt that grappling can be awkwardly "intimate" but it shouldn't really matter. Anyone can learn to defend themselves or PLAY the SPORT regardless of gender...

[TheSymbol]

And as long as they're wearing a cup you wont even know if they have a lob on or not so it shouldn't be too awkward.

I really don't think telling off this person to the instructor is a good idea. It's kind of childish and it could be really humiliating for this lady, and just because her priorities differ from yours is no reason to start grassing on people like some 5 year old kid and making her feel stupid in front of a class full of people. Just change partners, surely not everyone has the same partner every week? Just get in early and partner up with some beefy man, you'll be better at the end of it anyway.