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MT: Hands and where they should(n't) be

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  • MT: Hands and where they should(n't) be

    Hands and where they should(n't) be By Slipper - 08-05-2010 11:21 PM


    I'm having a bit of a mental struggle and am looking for some thoughts from both the ladies and the gents here.

    I'm the only female in a small Aikido group. I've been there for about three years and the other guys are great, truly a wonderful group of people. Over the past few months, we've had several new guys join our group. Because we are a small class, I've partnered up with them several times and sometimes worked with certain individuals for most of the class. They represent differing skill levels but one of them is just awkward. He grasps the techniques fairly well, but his 'hand placement' leaves a lot desired.

    Currently, I'd desire his hands to move about two inches higher than they currently hover.

    Touch happens occasionally during class and the guys I work with fall into two categories, they either apologize or we both ignore it. Either one is fine with me and it's never been a situation that I even remember five minutes later.

    With this guy, it happens frequently. The first night it happened so much, even when I spoke to him about it, that I finally sat out for the rest of the night. It made me very uncomfortable. He has been better since then, but it still happens several times whenever we work together.

    I do think it's deliberate, but I don't get a perv vibe from him. When I've told him to watch where his hands are going or to please move them from my breasts, he just gives me a blank look and says okay. Which makes me wonder if it's really not deliberate. But occasionally, he will do it and say something really bizarre which makes me think it was deliberate. It's just a messed up situation.

    So my question (for the guys) is 'how aware are you of where your hands go when working with a female?' and for the gals 'have you been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?'

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