Help please

[chalambok]

Isn't it interesting that the most offensive (and obnoxious) posters on this Women's Counter-Offensive Forum are men?

Sorry, Korngirl, there are some good things in here. Too bad you have to sift through so much ego-tripping to find them.

[ryanhall]

Korngirl, there are some good things in here. Too bad you have to sift through so much ego-tripping to find them.

yeah. i apologize for contributing to this nonsense. hope you found some of the information in this thread useful. some people here, myself included, need to up the maturity level a bit.

ryan

[Szczepankiewicz]

chalambok,


the same obnoxious idiots post on every thread of every forum.

What makes this forum so special?

[ryanhall]

which obnoxious idiots would they be?
i always thought i was helpful every now and then...

[RBFC]

korngirl,

To do a really good job of training women about SD, you must be able to teach them more than how to hit. You can show a woman how to do an eye jab in 5 minutes and her power is not really an issue in that technique. "Techniques" are almost the least important factor in surviving an assault!

The most important things for women to be taught are to recognize the signs of impending physical violence, how to talk to a potential attacker without inflaming the situation, how to strategically move while engaging him in conversation so that you can get in a better shot if you have to, how to use the environment to help you out (including improvised weapons), and MOST IMPORTANTLY: she must be familiar with how she responds to stress and how/why she fears the things/situations she does.

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES/STRIKES A WOMAN KNOWS! IF SHE'S SO SCARED DURING AN ATTACK THAT SHE "FREEZES", ALL THE PUNCHING POWER IN THE WORLD WON'T DO HER ANY GOOD! THERE ARE MANY STORIES OF "EXPERT" WOMEN MARTIAL ARTISTS BEING RAPED. Here's one:

About 1970, a highly decorated female tournament competitor and multiple black belt was attacked and raped. This came as a difficult blow to her, since she could not comprehend how this could happen after all her training and despite her obvious skill. She went back to her "master" and related the story to him. His response, "You have to train harder!"(IDIOT) She was absolutely devastated, since few women had achieved the skill level which she had. Did this mean that women were truly incapable of defending themselves against a stronger man? Surely a woman with less skill would stand no chance at all!

She later met with some of her high-ranking training partners, some of whom were men, and discussed the situation. They came to the conclusion that she simply had not trained in the right things! They began to look at what had happened to her and why the things she knew did not help her. (remember her skill level) They knew that women with no training at all had defended themselves successfully from attack. They dove into the project with all the enthusiasm you would expect, considering what had happened to one of their own.

They found that the successful defenses contained some common elements. The women had thrown their entire being into the attack/defense. They became viciously committed to doing whatever they had to in order to escape. (The black belt had frozen with shock, then attempted to rely on the techniques she was familiar with--unfortunately, the attacker was already inside the range she needed to deliver her well-practiced strikes. Then he threw her to the ground, where she was helpless. Her helplessness paralyzed her with fear even more, and the rapist was able to carry out the crime.) The women fought back no matter what the "positional" circumstances of the attack were. (The black belt had limited herself to the TECHNIQUES she was so familiar with.)

Out of this project, the Model Mugging rape prevention course was born. I'm not sure I have all the details exactly right, but the story is true. The new course was one of the first to recognize the importance of fear/paralysis and how it affects performance. Model Mugging was also one of the first programs to engage the trainees in "scenarios", where the rules and techniques to be used were not set before the confrontation started. This allowed the attacks to become much more spontaneous and REAL. The reality of adrenaline and how it changes your performance was finally able to be looked at. The reality movement in self defense training was born.

I am not associated with Model Mugging. I applaud the "pioneers" who broke through the ego-based dojo mentality of superiority and exposed the shortcomings of typical self-defense training at the time. I feel that other programs (mine included) have taken the basic elements discovered by these pioneers, and added more modern scientific aspects of performance psychology and stress/reaction behavior modification.

It is well-meaning, but perhaps too large of a task to teach women's self defense at your age. You have not yet had many of the life experiences which would help you to explain the pressures a woman will feel when exposed to threat. This is not to say you aren't good at what you do! Teaching women to defend themselves involves their learning about themselves and how they percieve the world around them. It involves progressively changing their belief structures so that they are able to extract maximum performance from themselves, regardless of their physical gifts (punching ability, etc.). It involves teaching them to look at their environment tactically.

I have stated in our email conversations that I would be willing to help guide you through the process of putting together a more complete women's self defense program FOR FREE AND WITH NO OBLIGATIONS. You responded by saying that you would probably change some of the drills to suit your current level of knowledge (this would destroy their teaching effect). I'm in a difficult position here, since I have a moral responsibility to help, but don't want to give you information which you are not prepared to examine responsibly. I'll be happy to discuss this further and help you in any way I can. Just please realize that your overall level of knowledge on this subject is the determining factor at how well you will do. Sorry if this offends you, but I must tell you the truth. I DO RESPECT YOUR INTENT AND YOUR PASSION FOR WANTING TO HELP!

Lee

[Lost Ronin]

Korn girl,
I have to tell you that what you are doing is a great thing. If there were more women like you, the number of sexual assaults would be drastically reduced. To be honest with you, fighting is a lot more psycological than physical. I could teach you how to punch a pad real hard, but it's not the same when you are punching a human being who wants to hurt you. I'm gonna give you a few good resources, hopefully they will help:

Tony Blauers S.P.E.A.R program, its got good stuff.

There is a certain lady, by the name of Melissa Soalt, she is an actual rape survivor and her material is some of the best that I have seen, check out Paladine Press for her " Fierce and Female" video.

Rorion Gracie's Rape Safe program, women need to learn to fight on the ground.

The RMCAT program, this addresses the psychological part of the assault, I really recommend that you give their website a look.

As far as techniques, I love to teach my female relatives how to elbow people. Elbows are a girl's best friend, they rely on technique more than brute force and they will cut some moron's head up like a melon if he dares lay a hand on you.

Also, the two key places where you should aim for are his eyes and his family jewels. Please excuse my affrontery, but it's the truth. If he can't see you he cant hurt you, and if you hit him on the magic button he is not going to run after you.

Remember low kicks, not just to his genitals but to his legs. Rapists can't catch you if they have a busted knee ( not that hard to do with a well place side kick.)

But the key thing to do is to focus on awareness, learn the psychology of a sexual attack. My girlfriend was shocked when she learned that sexual predators aren't really looking for a beautiful woman when they want to rape, they are looking for a helpless, insecure woman, the way you carry yourself can have a great impact on wether or not you are attacked.
I hope I have helped you, if you have any questions feel free to PM me, I'll help you out.
Stay safe.