Women's Perceptions in Martial Arts!

[Neltharius]

Self-Defense:
that's kind of a loaded topic. self defense is different everywhere you go. personally, i study taekwondo - now, i know everyone says tkd sucks for practical application, but that's total bs. every ma has their own wild and crazy/totally impractical techniques that would never work on the street. there's still plenty that would. you want to study self defense, make sure you're doing it practically - hitting, getting hit, being attacked suddenly, against common weapons, by groups... etc.

Glad to see that your school is one of the few schools out there that hasn't fallen victim to the Great Americanization. That's a huge problem with the TKD and Karate schools here. They place more emphasis on memorizing forms and theoretical striking than contact sparring.

Getting comfortable with contact:
who, me or the guys i train with? i can't tell you how many times in class i have to say "no, it's ok." there's times i feel like a broken record. I understand the instinct to treat all women kindly (and there's many that don't deserve it), but i'm coming to class. i'm dishing it out. i can take it, too - and i expect to.

Funny you mention that. Coming from an Asian upbringing, I was taught that great shame befalls me if I hit a woman. Then there's the American socialization which teaches that all men are to be chivalrous and gentle. A combination of the two led me to adopt some very wuss-like beliefs. That philosophy's starting to change though. Call it battle hardening. Something about surviving and deflecting insults from brats with no self-esteem forces a man to reattach the testicles he cut off years ago. Then there's martial arts. Sure, it's a co-ed martial arts CLASS, but at the same time, it's co-ed MARTIAL ARTS class. The way I see it, the softer I hit them, the worse I make myself, and the worse I make them, so I'm doing both of us a favor when I put a little more umph into my strikes. Doesn't mean my kicks send them flying. Depending on the opponent, I may strike heavily to the extent that they feel like their lungs are getting pushed into their throat, or just heavy enough so that the ones I land don't bounce off their bodies like dust particles on metal.

Then there's Capoeira, where I somehow always end up drilling and sparring with the same girl. I used to take it easy on her because looking at her, she was extremely fragile and timid. one day in the roda (where I usually give her a theoretical ass-beating), she started to escape and counter every strike I made, and successfully took me down once. When I backed her into a corner, I took a quexada to the face. Not to mention she was extremely fast because of her small stature. She had always been good at integrating the basic strikes into simple, yet elegant combos. Who knew you could do an au straight out of a bencao, land in negativa, do an extended hastata, get up, do an armada-quexada combo, and finish with a meia lua? Baffled everyone, including the mestre. She always had the problem of hesitating and not going through with them, but I guess something about that class added one more weapon to the arsenal that made it complete(ly effective and deadly). Albeit a beginner, she's the best person in the class because she the only person who uses everything she learns. Not even the advanced students can claim that, as they stick with a limited set of comfortable strikes. We'll see if this changes when the mestre allows for heavier contact. For now, a hard lesson learned: be tougher on her. Give, and ye shall receive. In the end, both of us will improve more.

[GranFire]

^^

Definetly true!

I am one of the older students in our (smallish) school. I usually get to sparr only with the same people whom I either outrank or that are much older than I am. The kids, who all outrank me usually (especilay the guys) take it easy on me. Soooo, one fine day I wandered into a workout with BlackBelts from other schools and promptly got my butt handed to me in my hat! Next thing I know I sparr with one of our kids and collect a solid body shot - a sweet sidekick - right to the short ribs! Ouch! I mean, I don't want them to send me flying, but I don't want to be treated with kit gloves either! (Gotta work on blocking them bodyshots!)

[Neltharius]

Yeesh. Getting sidekicked is never fun, even in light contact. I remember my first time legs only sparring against a Korean exchange student who did TKD and just started Kung Fu. I execute a double toe and go in for a straight kick. The moment I raise my leg, he steps out of the way (guy's got amazing reaction time, as I would expect from expert TKD artists), uses that momentum to spin, and delivers a spinning sidekick right to Frank, Joe, and Matt. I was lucky though, as he misjudged distance and the goods only got tapped. Still hurt though, as I remember keeling over and lying there for about 10 seconds before I got back up to spar.

[Tom Yum]

Funny you mention that. Coming from an Asian upbringing, I was taught that great shame befalls me if I hit a woman..

Are you kidding me? You don't know Asians nor how big Confusianism is amongst them.

Then there's the American socialization which teaches that all men are to be chivalrous and gentle.

Ideally.

Some guys learn jerk-like behavior, especially if its reinforced by the opposite sex. Its quite sad.

Where are you from again?

[Neltharius]

China bro. Or at least, its more civilized side where they like to preach their discontent for hitting women. I'm not sure if that carried out in action, as domestic violence is still rampant, but I was 6, and my super-Asian parents really hate the beating of women, so that was instilled in me. That was reinforced by the fact that they don't hit my little sister when she pisses them off, but when I was her age and I pissed them off, they had no hesitation about beating me with my music stand. So yea, Confucianism's slightly darker side. After I started weight training and hitting the punching bag, they stopped hitting me, probably because I had more defined personal boundaries and aggressively defended them (verbally), and that they feared for their own safety. After I left for college and did everything in my effort to cut off communication, all that fear and anger turned into guilt (after I angrily pointed out why I had been avoiding them). I'm a classic twinkie/banana case, but I reconciled with them over Thanksgiving and so far the mending's making good progress. My goal is to get them into anger management within the next two years, because that's a huge cause of the violent escalations in situations.

[lamaTKD cait]

Glad to see that your school is one of the few schools out there that hasn't fallen victim to the Great Americanization. That's a huge problem with the TKD and Karate schools here. They place more emphasis on memorizing forms and theoretical striking than contact sparring.

yeah, we try. ufortunately, we're surrounded by 'mcdojangs' that charge an arm&leg & teach nothing but crap. 5yr old 'blackbelts'. yeesh!

The way I see it, the softer I hit them, the worse I make myself, and the worse I make them, so I'm doing both of us a favor when I put a little more umph into my strikes. Doesn't mean my kicks send them flying. Depending on the opponent, I may strike heavily to the extent that they feel like their lungs are getting pushed into their throat, or just heavy enough so that the ones I land don't bounce off their bodies like dust particles on metal.

Amen! finally, someone who understands!!!

[Tom Yum]

China bro. Or at least, its more civilized side where they like to preach their discontent for hitting women.

uuhhhh...this is still off the mark. I'm no twinkie, I'm more of a mango but still.

gongfuzi ni jue de zenmeyang?

[Neltharius]

yeah, we try. ufortunately, we're surrounded by 'mcdojangs' that charge an arm&leg & teach nothing but crap. 5yr old 'blackbelts'. yeesh!

Scary thought. Be nice to invade another dojang and do some "friendly" full contact sparring.

gongfuzi ni jue de zenmeyang?

Wo hen xi huan gong fu. Shi yi ge heng hao de wu shu.

[Tom Yum]

Wo hen xi huan gong fu. Shi yi ge heng hao de wu shu.

You seem like someone with a good command of the language, but not a native...so why the bullsh!t story, bro?

[Neltharius]

Actually, technically I am a native. I was born in Guang Zhou, but moved around, mostly between Guang Zhou, Chang Sha, and Xiang Tan. Left the country for Canada when I was six, for America at eight, and have only been back to China once since leaving.

Grammar and vocabulary never developed beyond the kindergarten level (I played hookie a lot), and vocabulary's only regressed since I left. Parents didn't force me into a Chinese school because they didn't have the time or money to do so. Plus, the ones in our area were horrible. Mom tried to reteach me Chinese, but eventually she ran out of time and I lacked the motivation. The closest "Chinese education" I got was that my parents spoke mandarin to me at home and quoted the ancient teachings all time. Obviously eloquence in mandarin won't be a strong suite after a good twelve years of near-abandonment, but the morals remain.

[Tom Yum]

Actually, technically I am a native. I was born in Guang Zhou, but moved around, mostly between Guang Zhou, Chang Sha, and Xiang Tan. Left the country for Canada when I was six, for America at eight, and have only been back to China once since leaving.

Grammar and vocabulary never developed beyond the kindergarten level (I played hookie a lot), and vocabulary's only regressed since I left. Parents didn't force me into a Chinese school because they didn't have the time or money to do so. Plus, the ones in our area were horrible. Mom tried to reteach me Chinese, but eventually she ran out of time and I lacked the motivation. The closest "Chinese education" I got was that my parents spoke mandarin to me at home and quoted the ancient teachings all time. Obviously eloquence in mandarin won't be a strong suite after a good twelve years of near-abandonment, but the morals remain.

Welcome. Looking forward to your contributions.

[Tom Yum]

Wow, it's nice to see a lady here with some friggen self confidence!

To add to that, I can't remember her ever putting anyone else down to build herself up.

She is indeed a lady

[lamaTKD cait]

oh, well, thank you!