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Vin Diesel

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  • Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel taught the Kool-Aid Man how to burst through walls.

    Vin Diesel participates in demolition derbies with rollerskates.

    Vin Diesel's extreamly raspy voice can be traced back to his college days where he excelled in one too many meat cleaver swallowing competitions.

    Vin Diesel paints the M's on M&Ms.

    When Alexander Graham Bell made the first phone call, Vin Diesel replied with "So, what are you wearing?"

    Vin Diesel has been known to pass up water in favor of mercury.

    If you give a man a fish you will feed him for a day. If you give Vin Diesel a fish he will punch you in the face

    If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives".

    Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

    Vin Diesel was the first person to walk up to a cow and say, "Whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze them, I'm drinking."

    Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

    Vin Diesel once had to change a flat tire. He told a group of armadillos to act like a tire. They did.

    Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.

    Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

    Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.

    Instead of using Listerine, Vin Diesel sets his mouth on fire.

    There is an underused feature on the batman utility belt. A button that calls Vin Diesel.

    George Lucas wanted Vin Diesel to play Luke Skywalker, but Vin declined because when he was told, "Use the Force, Vin!" he wanted to reply, "I AM the Force, you rat bastard!" but George wouldn't change his script.

  • #2
    Oreomeister heart Vin Diesel 4-evah.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm not a fan of him by any stretch..these are just teh funneh.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Oreomeister365
        I'm not a fan of him by any stretch..these are just teh funneh.
        Are you and Vin engaged?

        Comment


        • #5
          Signs point to yes.

          Ask Lucy
          if it is.

          Comment


          • #6
            Best Sensei Saki post. Ever.

            Comment


            • #7
              saki and I are currently engaged.

              I could swear that post by saki WASN'T part of her programming.

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