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Meditations for Miserable People

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  • Meditations for Miserable People

    these are small exerpts from Dan Goodman's wonderful book;

    hope is like the sun, which, as I journey toward it, is bound to give me cancer.

    when God shuts a door, He opens a window-then pisses out of it onto my life.

    Self discovery is useless unless I discover I'm somebody else.

    I am not an unattractive person. I am downright hideous.

    If I fall off the wagon, no one will know, because I have no friends.

    To bring harmony into my relationships with others I must first realize that their lives are much better than mine.

    Knowing and unerstanding myself helps me realize just how worthless I really am.

    If I am impatient with the pace of my recovery, I should just go ahead and kill myself.

    Life is a series of valleys and more valleys, of which I will fall into every single one.

    I deserve true love-even if it costs me 3.99 a minute.

    People may disappoint me, but not nearly as much as I will disappoint myself.

    There is nothing wrong with crying when your life is as pitiful as mine.

    If I let go of the feelings that cause me pain, I would have no feelings at all.

    Happiness doesn't come from having what you want...in fact, it doesn't come from anything at all.

    Loneliness is a harbor in which I will drown every day of my miserable existence.

    Criticize, don't analyze.

    In helping others you're wasting your time because they're just calling you a loser behind your back.

    The first step in finding God is accepting His presence and the fact that He's just ignoring you.

    *The rewards of tolerance on a personal level are; misery, abuse, and eventual death.

    If you are honest with yourself, loneliness and despair are easily within reach.

    I cannot retrieve my inner child, for it is dead and buried in my backyard.

    When I eliminate the impossible, whatever remains is still not attainable by someone like me.

    When you feel unloved, get used to it, because you know it's the truth.

    I should accept the flaws in my character, for without them, I would have no character at all.

    Listening open-mindedly to others is a waste of time because people don't like me and want me to fail.

    All of my relationships would be stronger if I was simply not part of them.

    The mistakes I make today I will make tommorow, because I am stupid and slow.

    When I realize what I have to be thankful for, it is only then that I realize how worthless my life is.

    I cannot achieve complete humility-although complete humiliation is always within reach.

    Believing in myself is easy when I believe I will fail.

    Saying "good-bye" is always painful, except for the people who are saying it to me.

    Dependency isn't a problem unless I'm depending on myself.

    If I am patient with myself it will only take me longer to realize I am feeble.

    * ha ha...so sad

    Writing a "personal inventory" is easy when you have nothing to show for your life.

    Competitive relationships will always have a loser, just like any relationship with me.

    Self-restraint is not important because nobody really cares what I say or do.

    My behavior today will not be self defeating as I am more easily defeated by others.

    Once you fear failure you fear the only thing you'll probably ever know.

    Everyone faces adversity the moment they face me.

    God helps those who help themselves, if they help themselves to hurting me.

  • #2
    Today I will not reach out to others since nobody really wants me to touch them.

    I no longer need to compromise my dignity because worthless people like me have no dignity.

    Opportunity is nothing more than discovering a new way to fail.

    If I think before I act, it will only take me longer to make the wrong decision.

    One day the meek shall inherit the Earth...then they too will beat the crap out of me.

    When I compare myself with others I will not come up short because I won't come up at all.

    I will not be alone in my suffering, I will be alone because I am unsufferable.

    Today i will believe in God, and as usual He won't believe in me.

    Misery loves company, unless that company is me.

    Today I will not set myself up to fail, the failure will come naturally, as it always does.

    Today I will internalize the problems of others, since their problems are basically a result of knowing me.

    Friends don't let friends be friends with me.

    Some things in life were not meant to be, and something tells me that I am one of them.

    *I do not know what the future holds for me, but I know it's gonna hurt...and it's gonna hurt bad.

    Happiness is seeing someone you love...until they see you and close the blinds.

    I have nothing to fall back on because there's nowhere to fall from the bottom.

    Stepping stones are merely stumbling blocks in disguise.

    ***People won't hurt you for the wrong reason, they'll hurt you for any reason they want.

    God grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know that I really can't do either.

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    • #3
      small excerpts? That's like the whole damn book!

      There was a series of books like that a few years ago based on Murphy's Law;

      "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

      "Anything number of things that can go wrong will go wrong in the worst possible sequence."

      "Anything that can't go wrong will go wrong."


      That kinda stuff is pretty funny until it starts to color your perspective in general and you become a miserable, depressed, defeated Eeyore...

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      • #4
        Originally posted by osopardo
        That kinda stuff is pretty funny until it starts to color your perspective in general and you become a miserable, depressed, defeated Eeyore...
        Hmmm... I was just thinking "Eeyore's daily mantras..." Does that make you Winnie the Pooh?

        I thought some of 'em were funny!
        I deserve true love-even if it costs me 3.99 a minute.

        The first step in finding God is accepting His presence and the fact that He's just ignoring you.

        I cannot retrieve my inner child, for it is dead and buried in my backyard.

        Happiness is seeing someone you love...until they see you and close the blinds.

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        • #5
          Eeyore was the coolest guy on Winnie the Poo, and this thread made me giggle like a child. Thanks Garland

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